Ceremony and Vow Ideas

I need suggestions on a ceremony and reception issue.

I want a huge and elaborate wedding with 200-300 people in a hall. On the other hand, I would also love to get married in my lifelong church, where my parents got married and my grandparents renewed their vows on their 50th year anniversary.  The church is small and not so beautiful. It's an older building and the area we would have our reception fits at most fifty people. It also has bulletins tacked to boards and children's art hanging in the area. I wouldn't feel so glamorous there.  I need suggestions on how you would do both. I was thinking of the morning of my big wedding to do a ceremony in the church for just close family. And then do it at the hall for everyone. Or would that be too stressful or silly? Or having a small family wedding at the church and on our one year or five year have a big renewal. But I feel like it wouldn't be "special" since we've been married all along and people would basically just be having dinner while I wear a dress, haha.  Any suggestions please! Thank you!!

Re: I need suggestions on a ceremony and reception issue.

  • I think its wierd having 2 ceremonies, which one is legal? thats the wedding to me. I wouldnt do a vow renewal as the bigger event (and please dont wear a wedding dress at a vow renewal or tell anyone its a wedding).

    Have a big wedding or a small wedding. If your church is small and you want more people find another venue, if you are set on the church cut your guest list, but dont invite them to another part of the day. Thats considered a tired wedding and generally looked down on around here. Your wedding is where you say the vows and have the legally binding ceremony, the reception is your thank you to the people who attended that special moment in your lives. You get one ceremony and one reception with the same guests invited to both.

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  • I don't think 2 ceremonies make any sense at all.  If I were invited to your reception where you will "replay" the ceremony and the person next to me tells me "they already did this earlier" I would feel a bit cheated and a bit ticked.

    If you are going to do a ceremony, do it one time.  Have immediate family at your family church and then a reception for everyone at the hall.  Do not invite friends to the real wedding as you will offend other friends who figure out they weren't important enough to see you get married.  If you just go with immediate family you would be fine.
  • You can do what you would like but I would suggest to you that you choose one or the other. Remember that you're not supposed to be 'doing' your ceremony for anyone but for your fiance and yourself. You are not putting on a play, you are joining in marriage, you know? (I hope that didn't sound rude, I don't mean it to be rude.) Also don't want you to be stressed out or making things more complicated than they have to be for your sake. You could have your small family wedding at the church and then see if down the road you and your husband would like to renew your vows- but if you do decide to do that it really should be done out of love for each other- and not about having a party or having lots of guests. What makes it special is the reason why you are doing it. It could be just the two of you and still be a really special moment.

  • That's the main reason why I didn't want to do two ceremonies. I'd feel silly doing it all over again, plus the issue with who comes to the church one. Although, I don't see an issue with wearing a dress to a renewal. I know of a lot of people that have done that.
  • My parents, my sister and her husband, both sets of Grandparents, three sets of aunts and uncles, my neighbor, two sets of cousins and my elementary school teacher is renewing them this summer. That's a fair amount.
  • I'd say do the big, glam wedding now and perhaps a vow renewal on your 5th or 10th  anniversary or something. It sounds like you'll be upset if you don't do it big now, which is fine. I just don't think you can get the both of those worlds for 1 wedding.
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination
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    Pick one or the other.  Decide which is more important to you, and what you can afford, and go with it.  Personally, I'd think the small church would be more appropriate for the vow renewal someday.  But you can't have it both ways.

  • what do you do if you would like to get married in the catholic church but the timing is way off for the reception. To get married on a Saturday you can get the church no later than 2pm and the reception hall no earlier than 6pm 
  • In Response to Re: I need suggestions on a ceremony and reception issue.:
    Pick one or the other.  Decide which is more important to you, and what you can afford, and go with it.  Personally, I'd think the small church would be more appropriate for the vow renewal someday.  But you can't have it both ways.
    Posted by RebeccaB88
    Ditto
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  • I think you can have both, but more like doing a private ceremony in the morning then a large reception. But not 2 ceremonies. Sounds weird.
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