Gifts before the wedding - etiquette?

jennyann28 · June 2010

Ok, we're having a debate in my house. If you get gifts delivered before the wedding, are you supposed to open them, or not? I thought I read somewhere that you ARE supposed to open them, but not use them until after the wedding. FI thinks you're not supposed to open them. Who is right?

Koolkay83 · June 2010

Hey JennyAnn...You are not required to open your wedding present at the wedding or infront of anyone (this is what I read online somewhere) You can wait until after the honeymoon to open the presents but I would rather open them the day after.

jennyann28 · June 2010

Thanks Koolkay. That's actually not what I was asking. We are definitely NOT opening gifts at the wedding.

I am curious whether you are supposed to open gifts as you receive them BEFORE the wedding, or wait until the wedding is over. Does anyone know?

apnk2005 · June 2010

You should open them when you get them, so you can send a thank you note to the people who sent it right away (and also make sure nothing's broken). That way, people know their gift arrived, and if something is broken, you can get it taken care of ASAP. You shouldn't use any wedding gifts until after the wedding though.

melissa82 · June 2010

Ditto pp.

Though, personally, all the gifts I received before the wedding were checks (so they knew we received them when we cashed them) and were pretty close to the actual wedding so I waited until I got my photo thank you cards to send a thank you. But some of my family members are crazy and I could see them getting mad about not getting the same thank you everyone else did.

jennyann28 · June 2010

Thanks girls. I thought that was the case. I AM a little sad that we won't be able to use the cute photo cards I planned to make. And the gift we got today was from 11 couples combined... which is like, a quarter of our guests... bah.

carrieoz_76 · June 2010

I don't know about etiquette on this, but if the gifts are wrapped, we're not opening them until after the wedding, and if they're in a box but not wrapped we're opening them. I don't have enough room for all those humongous Macy's boxes. But I do want something to open after the wedding!

We aren't, however, using anything yet. I like anticipation, and I want to start using it at the same time when we know what all we're getting.

sarack · June 2010

you're right!

Tygirljojo · June 2010

Ditto apnk, at least based on what I've come across & read. We're so close to the wedding and things are just getting chaotic so I might end up waiting until after the wedding to send out TYs. Not to mention, one is for use for dinner at a restaurant in Cancun on our HM and I wanted to include a picture of us there with the TY when I send it.

carrieoz_76 · June 2010

I've been sending thank yous as presents have arrived. I'd rather not have a bunch to do all at once, and I know I always appreciate a timely thank you. Maybe when you're a month out (are you there yet??), you can call it, and do the rest after the wedding.

jennyann28 · June 2010

Blah, I'm a month and a half out. Are you writing thank you notes just for the ones you opened?

carrieoz_76 · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_gifts-before-wedding-etiquette?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:011e4598-7d3c-4962-99ac-808dc43ab457Post:3712af9d-3a59-4ecb-8b2a-3b4060181bf6">Re: Gifts before the wedding - etiquette?</a>:
[QUOTE]Blah, I'm a month and a half out. Are you writing thank you notes just for the ones you opened?
Posted by jennyann28[/QUOTE]
Right. Actually most presents are not wrapped, so so far I've written TY cards for all the shower gifts, plus each of the wedding gifts minus one, which is wrapped, and I'm saving it.<div>
</div><div>I'm the kinda person who always enjoyed waiting to open Christmas presents and opened them all on Christmas morning - I just think it's more fun. I think as far as TY cards are concerned, you're totally within normal etiquette to send cards after the wedding (esp. at this point).</div>

alyssa324 · June 2010

I want packages at my door :P

whatchamahu · June 2010

Ditto PP, I have been writing thank-yous as we recieve gifts. But, I must say that it feels very wierd to write thank-yous before we mail out invitations. Is it normal to get gifts so early or do I just have crazy guests? I do like that fact that I can spread out the note writing because if we waiting that would be a lot of work all at once.

carrieoz_76 · June 2010

I only got presents from one of my guests before the invitations went out, and they were from a BM who was excited to buy something off the registry.

So if you're getting lots more, watcha, then yes, I think they're a little crazy.

amandasw · June 2010

Everyone has a different opinion about this. I decided not to open them or send thank yous until after the wedding - granted we didn't get very many THAT early so I figured people knew that the weeks before the wedding are busy and weren't expecting immediate thank you notes. Also, I think of it like a birthday - if I get a present or card in the mail, I wait until my birthday to open it.

I suppose if you got one 2 months before the wedding, maybe open it/send a card, but I feel like (at least in my area/friends) people assume you'll do the thank yous after the wedding. Also, I did photo thank yous and wanted to use those.

pixiepink22 · July 2010

I received a gift from my Mother's best friend last week (I'm just under two months out) My invites are getting mailed this week. Should I mail the thank you before the invite, the same day or the day after? I definitely don't want to wait till after the wedding but I'm not sure which note they should receive first!?

Gifts before the wedding - etiquette?

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