My first poll!!

hannahrh · July 2010

After lurking on other boards (nest), I see a lot of newlyweds going through an "adjustment" phase of living together. Today I confessed to my DH that I was glad we lived together, for three years, before we were married. I feel it helped me get to know him better.

Did you live with your DH before marriage? How did your arrangement help/hinder your newlwed lives?

JadziaDax · July 2010

Hello. I'm not married yet, but my date is February 2012. I live with my FI now and once we are married, we will have lived together for around four years. IMO, I can't imagine marrying someone you haven't lived with since it takes time to get to know a persons habits and adjust to the living situation. Do you know how long it's taken me to train FI not to leave his socks on the floor? If we got married before living together, i'd probably kill him after the wedding lol.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

We just got married and I am so glad we lived together before getting married. PP said it well. It takes time to get to know how to merge two people and their habits, etc so I think working out all of the "kinks" (or at least most of them anyway) before the marriage helps and definitely helped us. I told H the other day I couldn't imagine moving in together right after the wedding. We fought a little when I first moved in with him, but mostly about petty and minor stuff. I am glad that is all behind us now and we can focus on starting our new life together. I know a lot of churches are against it, and I can understand that side of things, too, but from a practical standpoint, it definitely helped us.

future-mrs · July 2010

We do live together. By the time we are married we will have lived together for a year and a half...and I wouldn't have it any other way. Things change a lot, especially living together. While it isn't for everyone, it's always worked out well for me!

Jenni83 · July 2010

We lived togeather for almost 3 years before getting married and i am so glad that we did bc there is so much to learn about eachothers living habbits..

cutypie953 · July 2010

We moved in together about 2 weeks after we got engaged and I am really glad we did! There are so many things you don't know about a person until you live with them! Some habits annoy me easily so I wanted to be sure I could live with him before we got married, not find out afterwards!

pandasquishy · July 2010

We didn't live together before marriage. There have been no problems, no "kinks" to work out, nothing. I don't see what the big deal is.

NillaWafer10 · July 2010

We shared an apartment, but we didn't live together. FI lived with some church friends, but he kept his stuff at our apartment. Our first month post honeymoon was stressful. We moved a week after our honeymoon, which was a great way to test our commitment to each other. We have since then adjusted, but it was difficult. I think that budgeting and merging our finances will be the next big hurdle...

TTiger03 · July 2010

We didn't live together. I don't understand what you are all saying about working out the kinks. It's not like living together before you were married make the "kinks" smaller than they would be after the wedding. Sure there is the added pressure of commitment, but that's the part I've seen snag all my friends who did live together before. They all thought that living together for a year or more before the wedding was exactly what life would be like after, but I haven't seen a single one of those relationships that hasn't changed since the wedding.

After the honeymoon period wore off they all changed behaviors and have been a little disappointed that "he doesn't buy me flowers anymore", "she doesn't cook as much anymore", "he doesn't take out the trash as often as he used to", "she doesn't surprise me the way she used to"..... etc. - I guess those are just different "kinks" to work out.

My first poll!!

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