Brothers as Groomsmen

rachelfalcone · August 2010

Ok, so my fiance is not super close with my brothers and he has 6 of his brothers/bestfriends as the groomsmen in our wedding, is it rude not to have my 2 brothers as groomsmen in our wedding? I'm really close with them, but groomsmen are not my choice...what to do?

tldh · August 2010

have them stand on your side or ask them to do the readings.

Beachy730 · August 2010

Having mixed gender parties is much more common now, so you could have your brothers stand on your side. Personally I had never heard of that until I came on here, which was much too late to ask my brother to be in it. Also, since it is something I (or my family) has ever seen done, I know my brother would never want to stand on my side because he thinks its weird. In conversation when I mentioned that a lot of people are doing mixed gender WP now he laughed and said he thinks its stupid, which is his opinion, but if you knew my brother thats how he is. At my wedding my brother walked my mom down the aisle, and he also did a reading.

Traceyd14 · August 2010

I plan on having my brother usher in my mom and grandmothers because I want him to be part of the wedding, but he will not technically be in the wedding party or stand up with my fiance and the other groomsmen.

JenO24 · August 2010

have them do readings, usher, or stand up on your side. it would be a nice gesture for your FI to ask your brothers to be his groomsmen, but its not required...just like you wouldn't have to ask his sisters (if he had any) to be your bridesmaids (nice gesture though)

trix1223 · August 2010

Your brothers can stand with you on your side, especially since you say you're really close to them. They'll wear the same tuxes/suits, but stand on the bride's side.

People are smarter now, and realize that WPs are not about symmetry or gender. They are about having those closest to you stand with you on your wedding day.

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

You don't get any say over your FI's attendants. If you want them in the wedding so badly, they stand on your side.

fairy_diva · August 2010

My brother, who is my only sibling, wil be a GM on FI's side, they like each other too, pus FI's youngest sister will be a BM on my side. Works for us, plus our sides are not even, we're 5 GM & 4 BM.

iarguello · August 2010

I've never understood why brides and grooms can't have say in the other's wedding party. My brother is standing on FI's side and his sister is on mine along with my sisters and girlfriends. Why should it matter? If it really a big deal to him...that should be something to discuss. Mixed parties are great- but they should be a thing of want and not of necessity because the FH doesn't want your bro on his side.

iarguello · August 2010

if you want someone to be included...include them.

nikiandchris · August 2010

Mom was hurt that I wasn't planning on having my brothers as groomsmen. So I actually just went and added a BM to my side and added my oldest brother as a GM, the younger one is going to read and be an usher. Both are excited to play bigger roles than just walking grandma down the aisle.

2dBride · August 2010

In my first wedding, before the dawn of time (in 1977, actually), my sister was my MOH. I asked the groom about having my brother as a groomsman. (He had no brothers of his own.) He didn't want to do it, because he felt like either the whole wedding party would be my side of the family, or he'd end up with more than one groomsman while I had only a MOH. He therefore ended up asking his former roommate to be his best man. At the time, it did not occur to me to have my brother as a bridesman. I'm really sorry it didn't, as I am as close to him as to my sister, but he's never had a special role.

In my second wedding, in 2009, we didn't have a groom, so there was no possibility of groomsmen. However, my daughter and son served as MOH and dude of honor.

I would say that if you want your brothers in your wedding party, they should just be bridesmen.

jemmini6 · August 2010

I don't think it's a necessity to have your siblings in the WP at all. My dad had 6 brothers and only had 2 of them as GM and neither of his sisters were my mom's BMs...no one was offended they weren't included (there's really too many of them for that. lol).

I also had a friend that had a sister that she was sort of close with, but she had just friends in the WP.

Brothers as Groomsmen

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