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Postponing the wedding :(

JJLeon210JJLeon210 member
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in Pennsylvania-Central
Long story and too many details to get into on here (especially for any spies out there), but we are postponing the wedding. I guess its better than cancelling it completely like originally discussed. We were supposed to be getting married on September 24th. A month away :(

Has anyone had any luck (or heard of anyone) with getting their deposit back from Mulberr Art Studios? $2000 is a lot to lose.

Also, we are only postponing it 3 weeks (I know, ridiculous. Not my choice though) and are going to have to move the venue. Anyone know anything about Double Tree Resort? It used to be Willow Valley.

Also, ideas/suggestions on new invitations? Obviously I already have all my RSVPs back (actually I dont because half the people never sent them back...and that was BEFORE the wedding was called off), but now that we are thinking of moving it to October 15th, its like....what do I do about invitations??

Please help :(
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Re: Postponing the wedding :(

  • bridalgal50bridalgal50 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Wow, that sucks....

    Not sure what to suggest for invitations, but you are def going to have to send some sort of date change card to everyone because now some may not be able to come, and others that couldn't come in Sept may now be able to come in Oct! Maybe just make a lot of phone calls?
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  • mb2712mb2712
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    edited December 2011
    You're moving it to less than a month away?  I really don't think that's worth it.  If you are moving it a significant amount of time later, I understand.  Whatever the reason is that you are postponing it, I'm not sure it's worth all the hassle to make it less than a month later.  It's going to be a nightmare telling everyone and a big headache. Are you willing to go through all that? 

    I'm really sorry that you have to postpone your wedding, but I would think long and hard about pushing it back only a few weeks.  Especially since you said at one point, you talked about cancelling the wedding all together.  To me, it wouldn't be worth the headache, but if you think you can do it, by all means, go for it!  I didn't obviously go through this, but at my venue, you wouldn't have gotten much, if any, of the money back with a month to go.  And I'm sorry, I don't know anything about your new venue.
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  • ncd5015ncd5015 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry you have to postpone your wedding. It must have been a difficult decision.  Instead of sending a completely new invitation, could you send something that says "we are changing our venue and date to ..." with a new RSVP card?  Something smalll though so you don't have to spend a fortune on new invitations?

    And I'm sorry I don't know anything about your venues.  Good luck with everything

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  • JJLeon210JJLeon210 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks girls. I posted this on other sections and have gotten some nasty responses. I agree that 3 weeks isnt going to change much...I even said that in my original post...but its what he wants, and if that makes him feel better, isnt that all that matters? Its either October or March (although I havent called any of our vendors to see if anyone is available in March)...but honestly, I dont want to wait that long :( Plus I hate winter and snow.


    Edited to add: Or November. Our vendors are also availale November 12th. But still I feel like thats not a lot of time...ugh i dont know what to do :(
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  • mb2712mb2712
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    edited December 2011
    Since we can see all the posts you've made, I saw the post on other boards that I frequent.  I saw the varied responses that you got.  I also saw that a month-ish ago, you posted that you wanted to call off the wedding because of many reasons.  I just really, really want you to step back and think about what you're doing.  Marriage is a HUGE committment, and nothing will change about your fiance when you marry him.  He will be the same guy, just be your HUSBAND and you will have life-long committments.

    I know I'm not you, and I'm not in your life, but I just worry.  I think you may need to take some time to yourself.  Grab a few girl friends and take a spontaneous beach trip, or take a trip alone where you can really think about things!  Good luck!!
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  • hlzanderhlzander member
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    edited December 2011
    So sorry about your current situation. =( The Doubletree is beautiful, I live a mile away, and also work for Willow Valley, but at the retirement section part, not the hotel. Palm Court is beautiful and I've been to many weddings and banquets there. The church has charm, too.
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  • Miranda2911Miranda2911 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Well, for such a quick change I would recommend sending out small invitation envelopes that will cost no more than 44 cents, or even just spreading the word by mouth AND sending out new RSVP postcards (much cheaper than whole new invitations).  Flights will be hard for people to change but hopefully if you move quickly most of your guests who want to come will still be able to be there with you.

    Of course none of us are sure about the details of your postponement and working things through with your fiancee, but I hope that it all works out okay for you. I agree mb2712 in that you need to make sure that you really have actually worked through things, and that you will not be carrying this gigantic load into your new marriage.
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  • keithandkristikeithandkristi
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-central_postponing-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:107Discussion:50e69e18-dfb8-4660-9651-98dd409cbe09Post:dbaaf473-0f4e-48a5-81cf-51762dee2eea">Re: Postponing the wedding :(</a>:
    [QUOTE]Since we can see all the posts you've made, I saw the post on other boards that I frequent.  I saw the varied responses that you got.  I also saw that a month-ish ago, you posted that you wanted to call off the wedding because of many reasons.  I just really, really want you to step back and think about what you're doing.  Marriage is a HUGE committment, and nothing will change about your fiance when you marry him.  He will be the same guy, just be your HUSBAND and you will have life-long committments. I know I'm not you, and I'm not in your life, but I just worry.  I think you may need to take some time to yourself.  Grab a few girl friends and take a spontaneous beach trip, or take a trip alone where you can really think about things!  Good luck!!
    Posted by mb2712[/QUOTE]

    THIS! 

    Trust your gut!  Take the loss on the money and consider yourself having saved a lot of time, money and heartache in the future.  It's not fair to marry someone who you're unsure of...for either one of you. 
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  • alpresberryalpresberry
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    edited December 2011
    Sorry to hear your wedding is being postponed.  Maybe you could adverstise and sell the venue deposit to another bride at a cheaper rate, maybe $1500.  I've heard of people doing this on another board and it would be better than losing the entire deposit.  Good luck!
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  • thesupernovagirlthesupernovagirl member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I noticed you haven't posted anything since this.  I've also been the brunt of some board bashing so I tend to stay away from the boards because women can be brutal when your not looking them in the eye.

    This seems like the simple game of "if you loved me you would..."  

    One thing I have gathered in life is that when everyone you know and everyone you don't know give you the same advice, that it's 100% worth taking.

    I hope you have done some soul searching and that everything works out for the best.

    Your wedding day is supposed to be a celebration of a lifelong commitment and it's over in a flash and life seems stunningly mundane compared to all of the excitement surrounding the wedding.

    Reality comes around like a ton of bricks and then you're rapidly thinking what's next?? Some couples buy a home, others start a family, some begin saving.  If you both don't have a plan for afterwards, it's a sign that things aren't going in the right direction.

    I have been comitted to my husband for 12 years now.  We just got married a month ago.  In 12 years we have both changed in so many ways together and it's not always the way you expect things to change.

    The best advice from a long term comitted couple's perspective is to have all of the difficult discussions in as much detail as possible.  Money, intamacy, child rearing, education, politics, religion, household roles, working roles, immediate family relationships, retirement, etc.  

    My husband and I didn't discuss children in detail until about the 10 year mark when we were snowed in for 3 days!  Despite knowing the man for so long, I was amazed with his perspective when it came to child rearing.  

    It took a lot of soul searching on my part to become married.  I really wanted to understand what marriage meant to me.  I needed to define what my expectations were before I made that leap.  I did a lot of research on marriage in college.  I found that couples often drastically changed after marriage because of unspoken expetations they didn't even realize they had about marriage.  

    Some women want to stay at home with their children.  Many couples don't discuss this because women don't consider this until they have bonded with their baby.  Many women attend college and it's somewhat assumed they intend to work... but what happens when they want to stay home?  Will their husbands resent them for not working?  

    Those are the factors that change relationships that need to be discussed in great detail in order for marriage to work in the long run.

    ::end tangent:: ok i'm done ;P

    Whatever your decision, I wish you all of the happiness you deserve and more.

    Good Luck!!!




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