Bridesmaids of every size! Help!

heathernbrian101610 · November 2009

My wedding is planned for Oct 16, 2010 and I still have not picked out bridesmaid dresses. I am planning on having 6 bridesmaids... one of which is very small (about a size 2), 3 of which are average sized, and two which are plus sized (probably about a size 16 and 20) . I am having a problem deciding on the bridesmaid dresses. I am in love with a strapless ruched dress from Mori lee- the ruching really makes the waist look smaller.... it looked great on my small bridesmaids and my average one, but I am afraid that the larger girls will not feel comfortable in it. However, I am against the idea of putting my bridesmaids into flowy empire waist dresses because IMO this type of dress only adds to your size and makes you look bigger. I need some feedback on what type of dresses look good on bigger girls as well as smaller bridesmaids. I am going to include the picture of the dress that I am considering... please help with me with any and all opinions!

http://morilee.com/verLarge.php?archivo=Picture/601/img0.jpg&archivo2=Picture/601/img0large.jpg

dinajones · November 2009

I too have bridesmaids from 6 to 24. I'm going with a strapless ruched design for all of them. The ruching should minimize the stomach. Make sure they order up - I know they will hate to pay for alterations but it will ensure the dress covers all the fat fat (as my nephew says).

mbcdefg · November 2009

Don't pick out a dress on their behalf, first of all. You can absolutely have the final say on the dress you go with, but it's considerate to let your girls try some things on and then vote on a winner. Plus, the things you pick off a website or magazine might not look good on their bodies (whether they're a size 2 or a 20).

Second, did you ask each of them her budget? If not, do that ASAP, to be sure that everyone can afford what you're looking at. And do it individually and privately (not in a group), so that nobody is embarrassed or feels pressured into agreeing to a price she's not comfortable with.

Third, remember that you don't need to have them in perfectly identical dresses. What a ton of brides do nowadays is pick out a designer they can all afford, then they pick a fabric, a color and a skirt length they want, and then they let their BMs each pick their own style from there. So you could say something like, "Pick out any knee-length, satin dress from David's Bridal in Pool Blue," for example. And it's fine for you to ask to approve the dress before they purchase it. This works well because you don't have to worry about finding one magic dress that suits all of them.

Or, another option is to pick out maybe 3 styles that you like and know they can all afford, and then let them choose their own from those choices. Order them from the same designer and in the same color and fabric if you wish.

Some brides also give their BMs paint swatches and say to match that color and get it in a certain length - and maybe to avoid things like sparkles or backless or whatever - and then the BMs can get anything they want from any place that they want. A lot of people go this route if they want their BMs in black dresses, since black is easy to find and the dresses usually look somewhat alike anyway.

So either let them try things on (in their budgets) and take a vote, or give them an individual choice.

Regarding the dress you picked - I think it's really pretty, but I'd definitely have everyone try it on first. I'm a size 16 and I don't think that cut would work on me ... anything that clings to my hips is usually a no-no. Some bigger girls are curvy and can really work that dress, but others just look, well, BIG in this kind of cut. Plus, asymmetrical waists didn't work for me when I was trying on wedding dresses.

gottahavashorti · November 2009

That particular dress looks like it would have to fit like a glove to wear it since it is so fitted and may be difficult to wear for many body types. Keep your BMs' body shapes in mind while looking at dresses, not just their sizes. There are many styles that I just can't pull off, make me self-conscious, or are uncomfortable to wear that may make someone else my size look like a million bucks.

mbcd gave you a lot of good suggestions. If you really want only one style of dress though, ask your BMs which cuts and necklines work for them and which are definitely a no-go. If they're not sure what styles work for them, also consider going to a David's Bridal or Alfred Angelo store to try on dresses. Both stores carry samples in a variety of sizes, and you might not be able to get a good idea of what a dress will look like on either a size 2 or size 20 girl at a store that carries only a sample size 10.

mrsamyjones · November 2009

i second what the girls have said above make sure you take your girls out to try the dresses on before committing to a dress in your mind. Also you're wedding is still 11 months away you should wait till about the 5-6 month range to even start going to look because new dresses will be out by then and your BMs will not be so confused about getting their dresses so far away from your wedding...*been there done that

lilcassers · November 2009

I would put all of the girls in slightly different variations of a dress. I know if I was larger, I may feel akward seeing the small girls in the same dress as me, because it is easier to compare bodies when the same dress is on all the girls.

stina93446 · November 2009

PLEASE don't pick a dress until each of your bridesmaids try them on, especially if they have such varying sizes. I don't care what Dina said, rouching does not make everyone feel amazing. If you want everyone to actually like the dress they're wearing, maybe pick 3-5 out from a designer (after everyone agrees to them) and let them pick it out themselves.

swim1011 · November 2009

Have them all try it on first. That is a fitted dress, and really may not look good on everyone, in spite of the ruching (which definitely doesn't always look good). Not to be harsh, but just because you love a dress, it doesn't mean you should make everyone wear it.

If you can, let them pick a dress they individually love and look great in. I wore a strapless BM dress over the summer, and I was very umcomfortable in it (large chest), and wasn't allowed to use the straps during the ceremony/pictures, which was over half the day. Be kind to your BMs!

jma1983 · November 2009

I know a lot of people do the variety of dresses in same color or coordinating colors, etc. For my wedding, I opted to go w/ all the same dress. I found one at David's Bridal that everyone felt comfortable in. Also, I stood up in my sister's wedding and chose a dress in Azalea. A year later, I stood up in a wedding where the bride chose our dresses, she chose the exact same dress in Horizon. I'm a size 26 and 5'10". There were bridesmaids as small as a size 4 and 5' 2". The dress worked for all of us and it looks great in the pics. I know you said you don't like the empire waist, and normally I don't either. But you might want to take your girls to David's and try on Style # F12495. They have a large selection of colors in that style and I think it's pretty reasonably priced. Good luck!

emilyinchile · November 2009

Totally agree with everyone's advice, and not just because you have such a range of sizes. Two of my BMs - one a 5'2" size 4, the other a 5'7" size 12 - went to try on some dresses I'd seen online. A couple looked awful on both of them, for totally different reasons, and they ended up finding a dress that I'd never seen that really does work for all the BMs (and that I like). So it's not just a question of seeing what will work on some generic "larger size," it's important for ALL your BMs to try things on if possible so they can find a style that works for their specific proportions.

GEL0153 · November 2009

Hi I have 5 girls and they range from size 2 to 16 not 1 is the same and nothing looked good on all of them. So I picked out dresses that are the same but different styles. http://www.alexiadesigns.com/main/?p=319 here is a link of 2 dresses. All 5 girls have a different dress.

AmandaS23 · November 2009

My bridesmaids also run the spectrum of different sizes and heights; my sister is short, skinny, with a large chest, one friend is tall, small chest, and an athlete's body, another is short and full figured, and another is tall and pencil thin. I found it easiest to pick a color, length, and designer (David's Bridal) and have them pick their own dress. It was way more important to me to have all of them feel comfortable in their dress then to have them match.

PrincssGS · November 2009

I'm going to do the same...I have chosen the designer, color and length that I want and will let them choose whatever style fits them best. 4 of the 5 of them have large chests (D+) and vary from 5'0 to 5'9 so definitely need to take that into consideration! I love the dress you chose, but really don't think it will be flattering on all of them even with the rouching. My wedding is just about 9 months away so I'll start going shopping with them soon and hopefully have them ordered by 5-6 months out. I agree that 11 months is too far in advance t buy BM dresses, especially if some of them plan on dieting or whatever before the wedding.

jenn.daniel · November 2009

First of all, I love that dress, and it's probably my favorite of that length of BM dress I've seen. Doesn't mean I'd look good in it though. Please have your gals try on the dress. It also looks expensive, so make sure to ask privately about what they can afford.

Bridesmaids of every size! Help!

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