to send out an invite or not?

AndyNJenn · May 2010

My fiance and I decided a month ago we're going to be doing a destination wedding to Jamaica!

We were fine and content of it just being the 2 of us because we know that expense for guests could be pretty high.. in fact that's what we told everyone the first 2 weeks! However, we have friends and family saying they would love to go to the wedding!

My question is, should I send out save the date cards letting everyone know it's an open invite or should I actually send out invitations? We're not expecting anyone to go, but would like everyone to know they're welcome if they would want to attend! The friends and family that have decided to go is also going to be making a vacation out of the trip as well!

I just put this up on the etiquette board as well so I'm going to add a few things into this!

Since we've told everyone that it's just going to be the 2 of us, people already think no one is invited, and that's why we're thinking of doing the open invite! The resort we are choosing includes up to 30 people with the package *as far as reception and what not* and I don't see that many coming.

I'm just not sure how to handle this situation now! Any advice is welcome

Hope everyone is having a nice day!

numb3rMel · May 2010

I wanted our wedding just to be us two but FI couldn't not invite his family so they were invited, which meant my family, which also meant that we love our family but would need a couple of friends in the mix to keep our sanity... well... now its turned into more about the guests than us! I couldn't believe that a DW could be so much about who is and isn't coming. If I had to do over I would have stuck to the two of us and still planned an open house reception when we came home.

If you're still wanting to keep an open invite, I would send out invitations only. List place, date, and time just like a home wedding would say. Then I would have them RSVP to you by email or phone. Something laid back. And see where it takes you from there.

ToBeMrs.O2011 · May 2010

I would definitely send out Save the Dates and formal invitations to all the people that you would like to at least consider attending. I think it will get to confusing for people who want to attend but don't know if they are invited or not, what the exact dates are, which aspects of the event you are hosting (welcome dinner, reception) etc, etc. I also think it would get hectic and frustrating for you if you didn't have a formal RSVP process because the resort will be asking you for headcounts and such in advance of the wedding...it will also help with your wedding budget if you knew how many people were definitely attending a few months out.

It sounds like your family and friends are really excited about your DW, which is half the battle so congrats on that! Enjoy planning and stick around this board because the ladies here are so helpful and supportive!

AndyNJenn · May 2010

How far out should I send the save the dates? The ladies on the etiquette board are saying 9 months but I think I should give my family and friends at least a year in advance to plan and save up! *not saying they have to book everything then.. just to let them know* the resort we're getting married at hosts a reception for up to 30 guests *they can accomidate for over that but of course it costs more per person*

ToBeMrs.O2011 · May 2010

I would send out save the dates as soon as you have your wedding date and venu booked. For a DW, the earlier the better but most send them out at least 1 year in advance. I think ours went out 11 months in advance but we had been engaged for a year already when they went out and everyone knew that we had a DW in the works.

Beth0413 · May 2010

We are sending out our save the dates about 11 months out. But it's really whatever works for you. I think a year out sounds good because it allows people to plan/save/book/etc

AndyNJenn · May 2010

Wonderful! Thanks guys! Did you guys use a travel agent for your and your guests booking? Or let everyone do things separately?

ToBeMrs.O2011 · May 2010

We're letting everyone do it on their own since Key West has a lot of different loding options depending on your style and budget.

mishy112 · May 2010

I agree with PP to send out actual invitations, especially since you had already told people it would just be the 2 of you. Also, agree with PP on sending out STD's as soon as you have a date & destination chosen. Be aware that some of your friends or family that say they are definitely coming may change their minds for various reasons, and some people you don't expect to come may surprise you - I don't know from personal experience, but I've heard other DW brides talk about this. It's great that your family & friends sound so supportive & excited though!

ms.n.0906 · May 2010

Sorry to jump in on this a little late.

I agree with everyone to send out STDs as early as possible. A year out sounds like a good amount, and that's about what we did. We then sent actual invites out about four months before the date.

As for booking travel, I would recommend getting a TA based on my own experience. We booked our travel through the TA because it was important to have someone be able to answer all kinds of questions. It was also great to have a TA for our older relatives and those who are not internet savy to book with. Of course people were completely welcome to book their travel independently if they were comfortable doing that. Our friends and younger family members attending did indeed use travel websites like travelocity to book.

FYI...our TA is wonderful. She works with BeachBumVacations, and her name is Jaimi.

to send out an invite or not?

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