Bridal shower 8 months before wedding?

lauren123455 · May 2011

I've been contemplating having my bridal shower in August - 8 months before the wedding. There's several reasons why I think it would work out really well for me, but then I just think it's plain weird to have it so early. So I wanted to get your opinions.

Reasons for having it early:

My mom has always wanted to have my shower in our backyard where they live at the shore. If I don't do the shower in August, it'd be in January, so that wouldn't be an option.
FI and I are moving in together in late June, so it would be nice to get all of our new stuff sooner rather than later
I have two MOHs. One is living in Europe right now and will be home in August. She'll also be home again Dec/Jan but the weather is iffy then and it'd just be so cold.
MOH #2 is likely moving to Florida in the fall, so she'd be home in August still. She'd also likely be home in Dec/Jan
One of my FSIL/BMs lives out of state and is doing her residency, but will be at the shore for August
My current SIL will be at the shore for part of August

Negatives:

I haven't registered, and don't really want to until I'm done with the stresses of moving. So I'd be registering only 4-6 weeks from the shower.
It's SO early.
I wasn't planning on doing my save the dates until the fall - so I'd have to think about whether to rush and do them before the shower invites go out or keep them on track.

Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated!

jenmac628 · May 2011

my two cents....I don't think registering only 4-6 weeks before the shower is a good idea. The invitations need to go out around then and you may still be changing things on your registry or worst case, they will go out and you won't be registered yet.
Its up to you, your family and bridesmaids what works best with everyone's schedules but I do think its a tad early but not completely unheard of or undoable.
Also, another thing to consider is that you may want to change your guest list in those 8 months and if you invite them to the shower then you should invite them to the wedding as well...
I don't know- its a tough one b/c of all people that travel that will be around in August but it is really early!!!

SteveandKris · May 2011

It sounds like you're planning your own shower... I think "we want to have it outside" is a silly reason to have a shower 8 months early

and remember, you really shouldn't be using the shower gifts until after the wedding anyway...

Bride_to_be_2011 · May 2011

IMHO its too early for a shower. What if it doesnt work out, you are supposed to send all the shower gifts back, which is why you shouldnt use shower gifts until after you are married.

You never know who your friends are 8 months before the wedding, I lost quite a few closer to the wedding, so I think its a bad idea to have it that early too.

But it is your shower, you can do what you like. I just dont think its smart.

Bean32 · May 2011

I agree with the others. It is just too early. Plus, if you make a registry for your August shower, by the time your April wedding rolls around, a LOT of the things you put on there will have been discontinued. It'll be a pain in the butt for you.

I also wouldn't go to a shower 8 months before a wedding unless I was really close to the girl.

jenmac628 · May 2011

the above posters brought up great points...
another one- although you would love to have it at the shore, you need to consider the guests and their locations. Are most of your guests from the Philly area or NJ. I know the drive to the shore isn't super long from Philly but for August when traffic is crazy- you might get a lot of people that aren't willing to make the trip and it might just be more convenient to do it around here, in colder weather.

I agree with B2B regarding not using the gifts until after the wedding as well so that negates getting the new stuff early....

rachelk456 · May 2011

I think that if there are people that are important for you to have in attendance that can only make August, it makes sense and is a nice thing for them to do to be included. If having the shower really close to the wedding happens to work too for those people, I think I would choose that instead. To me, the trickiest thing will be that you will definitely have to invite those to the wedding that you had to the shower. And if you have people that you end up inviting to the wedding, who would have been invited to the shower, that might be a little awkward.

Maybe have an engagement party instead?

lauren123455 · May 2011

Thanks for the insight everyone! I'll have to think about it some more, but I'll probably wind up having to suck it up and do it in January. (Don't mean to imply that I'm planning it myself, but my mom and I are really close so she asked my opinion). It's probably too rushed for me to register and ask my mom to plan everything in a few months, so we should stick to the original plan.

I hadn't really thought about the not using the gifts thing --- is that really done? I imagine we'll be prudent about what we use before the wedding, but regardless of whether the shower is 8 months before or 3 months before, we don't have that much storage space so I can't imagine renting a storage unit for the stuff or something. If it doesn't work out I guess I'll just buy new items to send back to the guests.

jenmac628 · May 2011

Lauren- I am just really superstitious so I don't think I will use anything (I say that now but I have everything stacked in a corner of my apt so talk to me again in a month!)
And I am sure it will absolutely work out BUT I have always heard not to use the gifts until after so you can return them... just in case! if you don't have room for them- use the stuff, its totally your call but yeah, people really do not use them!

I once attended a shower where the wedding was canceled before the actual invites went out and she didn't return any of the gifts... which I didn't judge her for since she was going through such a tough time... but apparently she never used them and held a big yard sale like a year later to "cleanse herself of everything"... I did judge that move!
not really related but your post but reminded me of that so I wanted to share!

jenmac628 · May 2011

oh and love the engagement party idea! what a great way to get all of your out of state friends in one place and still have your backyard bash down the shore!

lauren123455 · May 2011

The engagment party idea is a great one --- especially since most of my parents friends that we'd invite have sent us engagement gifts, so it'd be a great way to thank them in person! Thanks for the tips!

@jen - that's crazy that she had a yard sale with the gifts! I can understand being upset and not even thinking about returning the gifts, but selling them for a profit?? Crazy! she should have realized by that point!

Bride_to_be_2011 · May 2011

I used stuff after my shower haha, I just know you are supposed to wait. But thats no fun

Amerbutt81 · May 2011

RE: Not using gifts until after the wedding
I didn't use any of my gifts until after the wedding (we actually bought a house before we opened anything) and it was a biitch and a half to store everything for nearly a year.

Bridal shower 8 months before wedding?

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