Bridesmaid trouble - HELP

Re: Bridesmaid trouble - HELP

• ggirl2001 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Uneven sides are fine. No one will notice. Your BM will get to walk with 2 guys instead of one

  
  

  FTR I had my sister as matron of honor and my BFF sas my maid of honor. About 3 weeks before the wedding my BFF found out she couldn't make it to the wedding for reasons beyond her own control, so I only had my sister stand up with me.

  
  

  It's not the end of the world, I promise. Don't just pick someone to have sides, stick with the girl you have and be happy. Dress shopping will be much easier Just tell her a color and length and let her go get what she wants. 

  

  Report0 Reply
• ggirl2001 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I'm trying to fix my spelling mistakes and I can't. Grrrr! 

  

  Report0 Reply
• amh04

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks GG. That definitely gives it a positive spin on things. I didn't even think about it like that to be honest.
  
  PS - I make horrible spelling mistakes all the time  

  

  Report0 Reply
• Beachy730 member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Ditto Ggirl.  Uneven sides are absolutely nothing to stress over.  These are your friends who you had picked to stand up with you.  If they can't make it, you can just list them in the program as honorary BMs.

  
  

  Whatever you do, don't replace them.  The people you pick to replace them would know they were second choice and fillers, and your friends that can't make it would feel like you cared more about the aesthetics of your wedding than who was actually standing up there.  If you only end up with 1, then that it still perfectly fine, and nobody will judge you for it.  A lot of people only do a MOH and a best man, so I wouldn't think anything of it if a couple had 2 best men and 1 MOH.  

  
  

  Just curious, if you were going to have 3, and your FI is having 2, weren't your sides going to be uneven anyways?

  

  Report0 Reply
• amh04

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  FI was going to have one of my brothers (since my other brother wont be able to make it since he is an idiot) as his groomsmen. Instead he is just going to ask him to be an usher instead. He hadn't asked him since I was told no by 1 of the girls right off the bat.

  

  Report0 Reply
• CAB1217

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I don't think I've seen an even WP at the last, ohhh, IDK, 5 weddings I've been to? Don't even worry about it! My sister only had me standing by her, and her hubby had his bro and best friend. I promise, it doesn't look weird. In fact, my wedding is going to look funny because I have 3 adults, 1 7 year old, and 1 infant in my WP! Who cares, it's all about having your friends and family by your side. Everyone is pretty much only gonna pay attention to you and hubby, anyway!

  SketchGirly-A Beauty Obsessed Blog-Updated 6/22 Mission trip to Nicaragua pictures, and littleblackbag.com talk

  Report0 Reply
• SamiJoeB

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Hey! At least she's telling you now! One of my BM's didn't even show up!!  I was so freaked out that I asked one of the GM's GF who just happened to be wearing a black dress and red shoes to be a stand in BM,  It worked out nicely and we're still in touch so thats a good thing.  She was like "Believe it or not, this is not the first time this has happened to me!"  Everything will be okay..
  
  I think that we all put so much pressure on our weddings and how perfect that have to be, but then the day of, most Brides are pretty calm.  I was at least.  My mom and sister weren't speaking, I had forgotten my lipstick, I had a MIA BM, and I was just like "Whatever",  FTL was sick on her wedding day.  I'm sure that when the big day arrives, you'll be fine no matter who's up there.  I've never been a BM.. but based on our similar pins, I think we'd get along great so I'll stand up there with ya!

  

  Report0 Reply
• amh04

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

   Response to Re: Bridesmaid trouble - HELP:
  [QUOTE]Hey! At least she's telling you now! One of my BM's didn't even show up!!  I was so freaked out that I asked one of the GM's GF who just happened to be wearing a black dress and red shoes to be a stand in BM,  It worked out nicely and we're still in touch so thats a good thing.  She was like "Believe it or not, this is not the first time this has happened to me!"  Everything will be okay.. I think that we all put so much pressure on our weddings and how perfect that have to be, but then the day of, most Brides are pretty calm.  I was at least.  My mom and sister weren't speaking, I had forgotten my lipstick, I had a MIA BM, and I was just like "Whatever",  FTL was sick on her wedding day.  I'm sure that when the big day arrives, you'll be fine no matter who's up there.  I've never been a BM.. but based on our similar pins, I think we'd get along great so I'll stand up there with ya!
  Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]
  yeah I'm hoping I'll be pretty easy going that day, believe it or not I've been pretty laid back about almost everything so far. There have been a few things but once I got past those I've been or tried to be pretty relaxed.
  that's pretty awesome the GM's girlfriend was able to stand in and that you'll are still in touch!
  I always love your pins by the way! I think would get along pretty great too!

  

  Report0 Reply
• prettyirishgirl member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  SamiJoe - love that story.
  
  Like the other girls said no worries - have some happy vibes from me. I dont have a cool story or a personal experiance, but this is your day and you shouldnt have to worry about all the extra stuff.
  
  to go with what Beach said I wouldn't pick someone just to make it "work," but if you really wanted someone close to you and it isn't about the looks you could consider asking your brother that your FI didn't ask. He may understand the situation if you explained and it would give you the chance to balance the scales if you wanted two and also be able to have him in the wedding which sounds like it was originally part of your plan or thoughts. That does depend on your relationship though, but if you were going to ask him until you lost a girl on your side if he was told the whole story it may work out for you guys.
  
  more vibes!!!

  
  My "Wedding" Blog

  Report0 Reply
• calindi member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  I gotta say, even sides never occurred to me. I am much more about the meaning than the aesthetics. Pick the people who you want standing up next to you during your wedding, who you know support you above all and support your marriage to your FI. Once you pick those people, as you have, you were absolutely smart to understand that one or more can't do it but are still your friends whether or not they wear the dress and carry a bridesmaid bouquet. Life isn't a movie. A wedding is about the couple and the marriage - not the bridesmaids, the bachelorette party, the shower, or anything else. Not about pictures, or balance, or anything. I love FTL's photos with her bridal party, and so I had a moment of jealousy as I won't be able to take those kinds of pictures (my brother is my MoH, and FI has 2 guys on his side - one in uniform. So it is all mix-matched). But the truth is, I will have the person who matters most next to me as my bridal party, and my FI will have his. So to me, that is all anyone can ask. In short - let it go. The balance, the aesthetics, everything. Do not fill the role - how would you feel to be a second choice bridesmaid to fill a spot to make sides even? You picked your party, stick with it.

  
  
  
  
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• crownsuperstar member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Sami- that girl's response is classic.  I don't think I have ever heard that.  I am just picturing her face now.
  
  AMH- uneven sides are not that big of a deal.  We almost had them. Dumb training.  Things worked out for us that one of our other male friends would stand in.  He was the only one not in uniform but he and H had become good friends prior.  It wasn't like he was a stranger though.  I would advise against that. 
  
  Good vibes your way!

  Report0 Reply
• Irishcurls member

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Ditto Calindi, the pictures would be lovely, but decidedly less lovely if you had some rando girlfriend of your FI's friend standing there, kwim? You'll look back on the pictures with joy if you have your nearest and dearest with you, regardles off whether it looks like you "thought it should."

  

  Report0 Reply
• amh04

  

  October 2011 edited December 2011

  Thanks girls. You make great points. I guess I was just upset that she wouldn't be able to make it, and after being turned down by one friend and then this kind of just upset me.
  
  Cali - Long story, but when I worked at a bakery I was actually second choice for a BM. I was 18 and ended up not really caring because I got to drink LOL! I didn't really get that I was a second choice until the pictures came out and there was like 1 picture with me. But whatever. I don't keep in touch with them any more anyhow.

  

  Report0 Reply