im sure ive asked before, but ill ask again. as all of you know, bridemaid #2 bailed on me. myself, FI, or BM#1 hasnt spoke to her. she wont return calls, call anyone and is stuck on this loser she is with so bad that we have no idea where she is even at.
At first we were still going to invite her, be the bigger person, act like it never happened, whatever. but after thinking about it, i think its reall F'd up that she is ignoring us, and cant even have the decency to let anyone know she cant be in the wedding. she has ignored texts for deadlines, wont call to even make an excuse, and just flat out DIDNT SHOW to the BM dress fittings, after she said she was coming. FI says we can only invite her if he gets a hold of her and makes it clear that her boyfriend is absolutely not invited. i just think it is SO SO rude of her to act this way, and frankly i really have no problem if i never hear from her again. a friend doesnt do that. We gave her outs, told her we would understand if she couldnt afford it, couldnt come because she home schools her son, etc etc but she still swore she would be involved. to me, she had no intention even then to be involved and jjust didnt have the balls to say so. She knew we didnt want a bridal party. but asked her and the other BM to stand with us because they mean so much to us and have always been there for us. She even told BM#1 last month she would be getting her dress within the next 2 weeks. how do you buy the dress when u dont know the style number because you wont attempt to even find out? to me...thats just saving face.
I know what I would do.....but etiquette says I should invite anyway. Im not mad that she wont be in our wedding.....im mad at how she went about bowing out....by not saying anything at all! Pretty much i feel like she told us "hey...take a hint....stop asking me to come dress shopping for my dress, i aint comin!". I also think its rude that she has no problem holding up the planning process because we have to wait and see what she is going to do. obviously, ive counted her out...i wonder if she still think shes in?
I feel like i have already lost a friend, so why keep trying to be a friend? I am the type who has no problem cutting people off and washing my hands clean with people. even tho i now know she wont make the trip to vegas, id rather use her invitation on someone who actually cares about us. We had to cut a lot of people from our guest list that we didnt want tom to make room for the most important people. Im totally outdone that someone asked you to stand with them while they commit their life to someone else, you say yes, then disappear. Am i wrong or immature for not wanting to extend the invite? WHAT WOULD YOU DO!?
thanks ladies!!