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Asking/inviting the priest?

xxstardustxxstardust member
100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Catholic Weddings
Hi, ladies - I'm new to posting on the Catholic board, though I've been reading it! My name is Kirstie and I'm not planning on getting married until Aug. 2013.

I'm looking for advice ... what exactly is the appropriate way to ask a priest from outside the church we'll be getting married in to perform our ceremony? FI and I are young (first year graduate students who finished our BAs in May) and went to the same school for undergrad. In undergrad, we attended mass not at our families' churches but at school, at the masses our Catholic Campus Ministry offered on Sundays. It was a small group of students attending mass weekly so we got to know the father quite well over four years - we've been to the rectory for BBQs, went to masses at his home parish, and we spent part of last St. Patrick's Day with him having beers, etc - and overall we have a really good relationship with him, so we'd love for him to be the one to marry us. How do we go about asking him, however? Is there an ettiquitte to it? I'm a little shaky on the Catholic wedding traditions, to be honest - I'm much more involved in the Church than my parents are and  they weren't married in the church so I don't have anyone to really ask.

We've already spoken with the priest at the church we'll be getting married in and have been told it's not a problem at all for him to perform the ceremony.
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Re: Asking/inviting the priest?

  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    This is done all the time. No etiquette to it...just call and make an appointment. 


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  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    We are having a Priest from a different Parish marry FI and I as well.  My FI just called him up and we went to meet with him. 

    Our Parish requested the the Priest who is marrying us write a letter to our Pastor informing him of his intention to marry us and will do all of the prep work involved.  This may be up to the Parish you will marry at.  They may have other guidelines, etc.  So I would also call your home Parish you plan to marry in, to advise them of your intention to marry and ask what would be needed from your outside Priest to be able to perform your Ceremony. 

    It is also easier if it's all the same Diocese.  There may be some extra steps invloved, if your Priest needs to request from the Bishop of the Diocese to perform your Ceremony in his Diocese.
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We just met up with our priest after a mass (kind of like you, he is the priest at FI's school), and asked him.
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  • bibliophile2010bibliophile2010 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We also know the priest who married us well and on a more social level. We just pulled him aside at the end of a dinner we were all at and asked him. He said he would be honored and that was that. The church took care of the technical paperwork. He occasionally says mass at the parish anyway, so there weren't too many complications.
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