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engagement or wedding gift??

blakgarnetblakgarnet member
10 Comments
in Registry and Gift Forum
sent out STDs about 2 weeks ago and today got a box on the porch!!  A beautiful Seder plate form our regristry from my mothers friends (a couple) who I also know very well from childhood.  The card only says "Love, X and Y."  Is this a wedding gift or engagement gift?  Can I used it (passover is next month so would LOVE to break it out, but do have another one, so it's not essential)?  Do I write a thank you note now?  I am also leaving for vacation in under 24 hours (with fiance) and will be seeing said friends when on vacation (going to my home town).  thoughts?
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Re: engagement or wedding gift??

  • ElisabethJoanneElisabethJoanne member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    Engagement gifts are a kind of wedding gift, so usually I'd say don't use it. Considering the timing, though, it does seem like they expect you to use it this Pesach. Ask, "Would you mind if we used the lovely seder plate you sent this year, or should we wait until next year?" when you see them.

    Send a thank you note now-ish. "Ish" means within 7 days of receiving the gift.

    Mazel tov!
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    It doesn't really matter if it's an engagement gift or a wedding gift.  Write a thank you note now, and don't say "thank you for the engagement gift" or anything like that.  I think it's ok to not write the TY note until you get back from your trip if you're time crunched, but if you thank them in person, you should still write a note when you get home.  

    Don't use it until the wedding.  Since you're seeing them soon, though, they may mention it if they intended for you to use it this Passover, in which case I think it's fine to use it early.  
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  • blakgarnetblakgarnet member
    10 Comments
    thanks ladies!!  I will bring stationary and write a thank you note while on the plane and mail once I get to LA
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  • Bonzo2011Bonzo2011 member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I agree with PP. 

    Write the thank you note now (on the plane is a great idea). 

    Typically you wait until after the wedding to use any gifts. But since they sent a seder plate immediately before Pesach, I agree with the PP who said to ask if they intended it to be used this year. I know, based on my own family, if I received a holiday-specific gift it would be intended for use now, rather than sitting in a box for a year. 
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Write a thank you note now.  I'd wait to use it, though.
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  • SCogs18SCogs18 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    I would write a thank you now and just say "thank you for the beautiful seder plate" and not refer to is as an engagement gift or a weddng gift.  I would ask them if they are confortable with you using it this Passover when you see them on vacation.
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