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Honoring FI's deceased mother

mmealymmealy
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
FI's mother passed away about 10 years ago. FFIL remarried 3 years ago. How can we honor her without making it awkward for the new wife & really all parties?

For the programs, what do we put for FI's parents? We were thinking:

The late Jane Doe and
Mr. & Mrs. Sowers

or something like that.

Thanks!
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Re: Honoring FI's deceased mother

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    danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    As far as how to honor her, this is really a personal decision for your FI to make.  Does he want to do something visible to honor her?  Or would he rather not?  Some options would be to have a framed picture of her with a candle lit next to it.  This is usually on the entrance table or by the guest book.  You could come up with something to say in the program to talk about wishing she was there.  Really your FI needs to decide if he's comfortable doing this though because it's perfectly okay if he'd rather just carry her in his heart and not make a visible show of it.

    As far as the program,

    Parents of the Groom
    Mr. and Mrs. Dad and Step-mom
    The Late Ms. Mom
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    tldhtldh member
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    Does your FI have any ideas of what he wants to do?  My FMIL passed away eleven years ago.  When he saw the mock up for the program, FI asked me to remove "the late" from in front of his mom's name.  I don't care that it's not proper; it's what he wants and this is a very sensitive issue for him.
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    mysticlmysticl member
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    I never refer to my father as "late".  He isn't late for anything.  On my programs I am going to list my mom and her husband as "parents of the bride".  I consider my step-dad a parental figure but he is not my father so he will not be doing any of the traditional father stuff.  I am going to do an "in memory of" section and list my dad there. 

    I agree you should ask your FI what he wants to do.  As for hurting the new wife, I personally don't think you should worry about that.   She is not his mother, his mother was and she shouldn't have a problem with him acknowledging his mother on his wedding day. 
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    cat1121cat1121
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    Depends on how up front you want to be.

    You could have family pictures up and include her.

    You could have an empty chair next to the parents with her favorite bouquet on it...etc.
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    Lisa8888Lisa8888
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    A step mother should not be listed as a parent. A step mother is his father's wife and is not his parent. You shouldn't list a deceased parent under parents. At most you can mention a deceased parent in a separate in memory of section.


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    Kidlet 26Kidlet 26 member
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    Both of my FI's parents are deceased and we have decided to do two different things.  During the ceremony a corsage and boutinierre will be placed in two empty chairs at the front of the congregation.  During the reception, those two items will be placed in front of pictures of his parents.  The program will have a memorial mention of his parents and there will be a memorial card on the table with the pictures at the reception.  But this is a decision that you and your FI should make together. 
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