Fall wedding theme with a kilt?!?!

mammaj85 · April 2011

I really want a fall wedding with all the colors & things of fall. I even want pumpkin centerpieces with flowers in them. But my fiancé wants (and hrs very firm on this demand) to wear a kilt instead of a suit & he wants to wear boots for shoes!! This will not match a fall wedding at all! And I have never even seen an orange or red or pink-ish kilt ever! So I am just at a loss because I don't want to change my theme at all just because he is stubborn about this kilt. He doesn't even "celebrate" any part of his heritage at all. He is just very "out there" when it comes to his outward statement/appearance. Please help me!! I can't even find any fall themed kilts when I google either! Thankyou!!

SEWF · April 2011

Wow.

Um, first of all, maybe he is more into his heritage than you think. Remember that this is his wedding, too, and I'm sure he wants some say in what he wears.

Secondly, red kilts are VERY common, so I'm sure he could find one if you decided to go with red.

Finally, he could wear a black kilt. They don't have to be plaid. My husband has a black cotton (I think) kilt, a tan kilt, and a black denim kilt. He wore his black one during the reception (See picture. He usually wears black boots with it, but forgot them on the wedding day). There is a company out of Seattle called UtiliKilts, which is where my husband ordered his from. They do great work.

You can then incorporate the fall colors into his tie or vest.

(Ignore the pirate jacket...)

SEWF · April 2011

Also, remember that you love your FH for who he is, clothes and all.Let him be who he is and wear what he wants.

Here's the UtiliKilt website if you want to give it a shot.

http://www.utilikilts.com/

And because I love kilts...

DramaGeek · April 2011

I think it's important that you remember that this is a day to celebrate the two of you, not just to celebrate you. There are a lot of "I" statements in your post - YOU want a fall wedding, YOU want it to be fall themed, YOU want pumpkins for centerpieces, YOU don't want to change your theme.

What would you have had your fiance wear had he not brought up the idea of a kilt? Because I don't see how a black tux fits a fall theme either, so I think you can work a kilt in just as easily as a tux or other suit. In fact, I think you should suggest this one.

mammaj85 · April 2011

Ok so you both really took my post completely wrong, maybe instead of accusing me of not wanting to budge on the idea of him wearing a kilt you would realize that I was asking for ideas on how to incorporate a kilt into a fall themed wedding. I wasn't bein selfish about it at all. I didn't even know that men wore black kilts or that they even existed, I thought they were all plaid & the usual colors. So thankyou for the black kilt suggestion I think that will work out.

SEWF · April 2011

I'm glad you are open to the black kilt idea. They really look nice, and I hope your FI likes the look of them.

I'm sorry if I took your post the wrong way, but you have to admit that there are a lot of "I" statements in the OP.

"I really want a fall wedding with all the colors & things of fall. I even want pumpkin centerpieces with flowers in them. But my fiancé wants (and hrs very firm on this demand) to wear a kilt instead of a suit & he wants to wear boots for shoes!! This will not match a fall wedding at all! And I have never even seen an orange or red or pink-ish kilt ever! So I am just at a loss because I don't want to change my theme at all just because he is stubborn about this kilt. "

That last part is the hardest for me. This is part of who he is (whether he celebrates it or not). Ultimately, this is a very minor thing to worry about. My H said throughout the entire planning process, "You have 90% control." So his measly 10% was used on us being introduced to AC/DCs "Thunderstruck". (I don't count the kilt as any part of his 10% because I really like the kilt!)

Let your FI have this small thing he wants. Show him the website for the kilts and give him some options. I promise, a happy FI is more important than anything else.

hellerc1 · April 2011

My FI is wearing a Ie Faitaga (lavalava or sarong for men) because he is Samoan. All his GM will be in them as well. We have picked a grey pinstripe one. I too took your OP as being a bit all about you, I am glad you corrected that.

Something you may wish to think about though is if he will want to wear his (family) tartan and find out what color it is and then maybe just try and work with it.

This is what my FI will wear but on the top he will wear a shirt, vest and matching tie. Ie Faitaga for weddings are a solid color.

cqbride · April 2011

You don't have to make every single tiny detail and color match. It's going to look silly if you try to make your fiance match the bridesmaids and the decor. Let go and allow him to be himself. No one will remember if he didn't fit in perfectly with your theme- people will remember if you were uptight and overly controlling and didn't allow yourself or your fiance enjoy the process.

heinz11msw · April 2011

HAHAHAHA @ DRAMAGEEK

Best. pic. ever.

McHotts · April 2011

Just as someone of very firm Scottish heritage, I have to point out, unless he is of a huge clan, there aren't that many choices. There should be a formal tartan, hunting tartan "everyday" tartan, etc - larger clans have more options for each. Black kilts are cool, but if your FI is trying to be true to heritage on a day like this he might want to actually wear a family tartan, otherwise its just a kilt that anyone could wear,just something that was picked out because they looked nice in a wedding. For most Scots or people of Scottish heritage, picking a kiltis not like renting a tux or even buying a wedding dress where you just say "I like this pattern or that one." I am not sure how dedicated to heritage your FI is, but if he is serious, he should know or find out what his family tartans are then go from there. You might be surprised at the options. My family has a hunting tartan that is warm orange and red and brown and would be very fall appropriate.

mbcdefg · April 2011

The world won't explode if everything isn't perfectly matched, you know.

LoveMuffins · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_fall-wedding-theme-kilt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:15Discussion:ee539d93-242a-4334-926d-1f8aba3637d5Post:b68fbb67-84af-4f66-bd27-0ff8fd7bbc8e">Re: Fall wedding theme with a kilt?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so you both really took my post completely wrong, maybe instead of accusing me of not wanting to budge on the idea of him wearing a kilt you would realize that I was asking for ideas on how to incorporate a kilt into a fall themed wedding. I wasn't bein selfish about it at all. I didn't even know that men wore black kilts or that they even existed, I thought they were all plaid & the usual colors. So thankyou for the black kilt suggestion I think that will work out.
Posted by mammaj85[/QUOTE]

Just so you know, your OP sounded more like you were extremely unhappy about FI wearing a kilt and that you thought it was going to ruin the look you wanted, more than you wanted help. It kind of sounded like you wanted ways to talk him out of wearing hte kilt, and you disparaged how important a kilt might be to him by saying that he's not that into his heritage and he's only doing it to make a personal statement about the way he dresses. So it <em>did</em> sound a little selfish and like you didn't want to budge.

And while orange and pink are not usual colors for kilts, red definitely is =) Good luck!

SEWF · April 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_attire-accessories_fall-wedding-theme-kilt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:15Discussion:ee539d93-242a-4334-926d-1f8aba3637d5Post:dda30c38-75d5-4785-b8a5-9733b1e63b87">Re: Fall wedding theme with a kilt?!?!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Fall wedding theme with a kilt?!?! :<strong> Just so you know, your OP sounded more like you were extremely unhappy about FI wearing a kilt and that you thought it was going to ruin the look you wanted, more than you wanted help. It kind of sounded like you wanted ways to talk him out of wearing hte kilt, and you disparaged how important a kilt might be to him by saying that he's not that into his heritage and he's only doing it to make a personal statement about the way he dresses. So it did sound a little selfish and like you didn't want to budge.</strong> And while orange and pink are not usual colors for kilts, red definitely is =) Good luck!
Posted by LoveMuffins[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>THANK YOU! This is exactly what I was trying to say, but it was late and I'm been sick, so I couldn't articulate correctly.</div>

mammaj85 · April 2011

Matt really doesn't celebrate his heritage at all, he just likes the style of the kilt. He doesn't even know what his clan is. I re-read my statement and yes it does sound selfish so I apologize for that but I was frazzled because yea I was worried about how a kilt would match my theme. But I really was trying to get advice on how to incorporate it together. That's the only reason why I created this post. I was open to all suggestions about how me & matt could come to a conclusion, and I should've said that in my initial post. I was actually typing in a hurry so I didn't even look at what I had typed before I hit submit.

mammaj85 · April 2011

And another thing, I've know matt for 5 years, he is a beat friend to me as well as my partner so don't you think that I Would know if it was just a personal satement for him or not? Don't you think I would know his personality by now? Yes again I know my statement was a little harsh but you guys too are really quick to judge also.

Fall wedding theme with a kilt?!?!

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