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July 2012 Weddings
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My FMIL . . .

bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
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in July 2012 Weddings
. . . is acting BSC. To use ginadog's nomenclature.

She just informed us that we'll have 40 people at our rehearsal dinner. That's funny; we'll have 48 people attending the rehearsal if we include bridal party, plus ones, immediate family, and the priest. We haven't decided on readers, but looks like we don't get any because we can't host them at the RD!

. . . 

Oh - and I know it's not about the cost at this point, in case you're wondering. She's just trying to be controlling. We would cover the extra cost no problem (despite the fact we told her originally there would be 48 people when she asked for a number), but she would be supremely insulted if we did. She's taking this thing to a whole different level of crazy and hired a photographer, florist, etc. FOR THE REHEARSAL DINNER.   

wtf. Rant over.  
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Re: My FMIL . . .

  • ceglare4ceglare4
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_my-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:1712676d-674a-47aa-add7-300d22c576e8Post:bbabdcfc-3e56-413d-826b-41036cdfd76b">My FMIL . . .</a>:
    [QUOTE]. . . is acting BSC. To use ginadog's nomenclature. She just informed us that we'll have 40 people at our rehearsal dinner. That's funny; we'll have 48 people attending the rehearsal if we include bridal party, plus ones, immediate family, and the priest. We haven't decided on readers, but looks like we don't get any because we can't host them at the RD! . . .  Oh - and I know it's not about the cost at this point, in case you're wondering. She's just trying to be controlling. We would cover the extra cost no problem (despite the fact we told her originally there would be 48 people when she asked for a number), but she would be supremely insulted if we did.<strong> She's taking this thing to a whole different level of crazy and hired a photographer, florist, etc. FOR THE REHEARSAL DINNER. </strong>   wtf. Rant over.  
    Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]

    Wow, that's a bit much! And why is she limiting it to 40?? Just for the hell of it? Have you talked to her about it already? I'm curious to hear what she has to say because it costs don't matter, I don't get why she would be limiting your number.

    This is the EXACT opposite of my FMIL. She has had zero involvement in the wedding and we ALL like it that way, thank god.
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_my-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:1712676d-674a-47aa-add7-300d22c576e8Post:78e31452-ed03-433d-8a18-685cfcd1beb2">Re: My FMIL . . .</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to My FMIL . . . : Wow, that's a bit much! And why is she limiting it to 40?? Just for the hell of it? Have you talked to her about it already? I'm curious to hear what she has to say because it costs don't matter, I don't get why she would be limiting your number. This is the EXACT opposite of my FMIL. She has had zero involvement in the wedding and we ALL like it that way, thank god.
    Posted by ceglare4[/QUOTE]

    She told me there are "5 tables of 8" in the room that she rented at the restaurant. The room holds FIFTY PEOPLE. So, yeah, it sounds pretty much like she's doing it for the hell of it.

    She also told me she "doesn't like the look of empty seats" so I think that may have something to do with it. Because god forbid there is a table of 8 with - gasp - only 6 people at it? It's totally beyond my comprehension. Hence my BSC comment.
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  • MeaganR12MeaganR12
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    edited March 2012
    WTF?? That's so frustrating! Your FI needs to put his foot down. 
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  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_my-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:1712676d-674a-47aa-add7-300d22c576e8Post:86c7362b-24de-45f1-91bc-873939e2816d">Re: My FMIL . . .</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My FMIL . . . :  She also told me she "doesn't like the look of empty seats" so I think that may have something to do with it. <strong>Because god forbid there is a table of 8 with - gasp - only 6 people at it?
    </strong>Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]

    Hahahaha! I'm sorry, this made me laugh out loud. Is that the best fake reason she's got? 2 empty chairs? C'mon.. FMIL has to try a little harder!

    Stand your ground girl, I'm sure there will be a way to work it out! ;-)
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
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    Meagan - Yeah, he did. I'm still not sure she gets it. So I'm not sure what to say to her other than what I already did which was, well we have X number of people . . . and we were going to have 3 readers since there are 3 readings during the ceremony . . .

    And Nati - SERIOUSLY. I was like, wtf does that mean? We won't know how many people till we get RSVPs with +1s for the RD, that's why we said 48 and that's why she got the room for 50! WTF!?
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  • BrightFireflyBrightFirefly member
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    Just invite them anyway and pay for their food.
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
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    BrightFirefly, there won't be a table for them, otherwise we would. She's having only 5 tables -- remember, there can't be any empty tables in the room?

    It's absurd.
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  • BrightFireflyBrightFirefly member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_my-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:1712676d-674a-47aa-add7-300d22c576e8Post:d3078f79-e660-4a11-87c6-7e54a0d7652d">Re: My FMIL . . .</a>:
    [QUOTE]BrightFirefly, there won't be a table for them, otherwise we would. She's having only 5 tables -- remember, there can't be any empty tables in the room? It's absurd.
    Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]

    Ah - I forgot she was actually the one "hosting". -_- Is she OCD?
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_my-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:1712676d-674a-47aa-add7-300d22c576e8Post:a8336e3c-ea4c-47bb-b7eb-9c0d60ab6cd3">Re: My FMIL . . .</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My FMIL . . . : Ah - I forgot she was actually the one "hosting". -_- Is she OCD?
    Posted by BrightFirefly[/QUOTE]

    Ah, yes. OCD would be an understatement.

    Also, this all started because she wanted to know how many invitations to order (which she won't show me and I have a feeling they are going to be more formal than the ones for the reception). So it's not like a "Why don't you guys come to the RD" sort of situation where would could just add people later. I mean, we could. But she would have a conniption. I'm worried she's going to send out invitations and then our readers, etc. will not get invitations.

    How stupid is all of this!? I am such a complainer today.
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  • avsfan33avsfan33 member
    1000 Comments
    This is why I don't involve FMIL in anything lol. Sorry you're going through this. Weddings bring out the worst in people.
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  • colleenm18colleenm18 member
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    Yikes!  Good Luck dealing with her!
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  • RyansBelovedBrideRyansBelovedBride member
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    This where you invite two more random people and say "there. No more empty chairs. 6 tables it is!" ;)

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  • michelle11988michelle11988 member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    Good your FMIL sounds like a piece of work to say the least.  I love my FMIL and FFIL who have had basically no comments on anything, it's so nice that the have opinions but don't force them on us.  

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  • littlemoments324littlemoments324 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    ahh..thats wonderful...FI needs to speak with her!!

    FI & I decided to not have an RD & just hang out with our WP separately...We'll have the rehearsal and I'll be on my merry way with my gals and FI will be on his studly way with his guys!
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  • butterflyjumper1butterflyjumper1
    1000 Comments
    ummmmmm bridetobe....this is one of the craziest things i have ever heard!!! is she trying to make it into another mini-reception?? florist and photographer for the rehearsal dinner?

    my venues solution to the "empty chair" thing: spread people out at the tables and skip place settings for the ghosts so have a few tables of 7 place settings instead of all tables with 8 place settings but one with only six people. easy solution. (that was hard to explain so hopefully it made sense haha).
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  • bells24412bells24412
    1000 Comments
    That sucks and I would say something to her. In my case my FMIL wants to be too involved and it is none of her buisness since she isn't really paying for anything. She even cried over the weekend to my FI and I because she says she feels out of the loop because she doesn't know what kind of reception materials we are using. Come on lady, get over it!!

    Damn FMIL i say!
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
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    HAHAHA. Thanks, guys.

    Yeah - it's one of those things that, right from the beginning, I knew this was going to be a production. One of the first things she said to me after we got engaged was, "And of course we'll be hosting a lovely rehearsal dinner." I was like, That is so nice of you. Thank you.

    Fast-forward to now and it's definitely almost like a mini-reception. She also won't tell me anything about it except the location, which is a steakhouse.

    Oh - And she also informed me last night, after she told us that we're only allowed to have 40 people in the 50 person room, that she is inviting her random cousin from Kansas. Who fiance hasn't met. And who probably won't come to the wedding, let alone the rehearsal dinner. Why is she inviting her? I have no effing clue. I mean, it's just getting ridiculous.
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  • BrightFireflyBrightFirefly member
    1000 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_my-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:1712676d-674a-47aa-add7-300d22c576e8Post:88866401-f7cd-4d4d-9290-0466ddc7bd93">Re: My FMIL . . .</a>:
    [QUOTE]HAHAHA. Thanks, guys. Yeah - it's one of those things that, right from the beginning, I knew this was going to be a production. One of the first things she said to me after we got engaged was, "And of course we'll be hosting a lovely rehearsal dinner." I was like, That is so nice of you. Thank you. Fast-forward to now and it's definitely almost like a mini-reception. She also won't tell me anything about it except the location, which is a steakhouse. Oh - And she also informed me last night, after she told us that we're only allowed to have 40 people in the 50 person room, that she is inviting her random cousin from Kansas. Who fiance hasn't met. And who probably won't come to the wedding, let alone the rehearsal dinner. Why is she inviting her? I have no effing clue. I mean, it's just getting ridiculous.
    Posted by bridetobe71412[/QUOTE]

    One of the reasons I'm so glad FMIL lives about 16 hours away. ;-)

    You're learning a very good lesson in patience right now. :p

    What does FI think of this whole production?
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  • LADY324LADY324
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    That is insane that she hired a florist and photographer are they rich?  I would really push for the plus ones it is rude not to invite the bridal party with dates if they are in a serious relationship.
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  • bridetobe71412bridetobe71412
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_my-fmil?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:1712676d-674a-47aa-add7-300d22c576e8Post:befcb82e-081c-4bdf-a944-809b680f30fd">Re: My FMIL . . .</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: My FMIL . . . : One of the reasons I'm so glad FMIL lives about 16 hours away. ;-) You're learning a very good lesson in patience right now. :p <strong>What does FI think of this whole production?
    </strong>Posted by BrightFirefly[/QUOTE]

    He's like, I am so sorry. My mom is a lunatic. I'm so sorry.

    He wrote her a somewhat mean email being like, "To the extent you need to cut down on numbers to accommodate the actual rehearsal members, maybe we can remove this random cousin of yours that I've never met." It was nastier than that, and I was like, Oh, jeez, now she's going to think I told him to send it . . . Oh, well.

    I think the good news is that she now understands (after his email) that we can't NOT invite the people from the rehearsal. So hopefully she won't have a hissy fit about it.

    And Butterfly, seriously - isn't that the logical solution? Just put less place settings at the table!? I mean, it's not rocket science.
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