My soon to be step son

NAPgreen · June 2010

My FI has a 7 year old son from his first marriage (he felt it was the right thing to do though they were never happy) and the 3 of us get along so well! I am so excited to be a stepmom in just a little over 3 months. We are having him stand up in the wedding with my 8 year old cousin but what can we do with him that would makes things so special. He is so excited for us to get married and he saw when our unity candle came in that it didnt have his name on it as well...He keeps saying it should say Daddy, Nicole and Dylan...well now we really want to do something with him included...any ideas?

gabi829 · June 2010

That's so cute that he's so excited! Could you perhaps do a sand ceremony that symbolizes all of you becoming a family?

Catalina Island Bound · June 2010

I read in another forum on TheKnot that some people present the little ones that age with some sort of special token...maybe for him, a guys bracelet. I think anything you do to acknowledge him durng the ceremony would be sooo freaking special!!

DiamondDani · June 2010

I've seen people add their kids into the sand ceremony, giving them their own color sand to pour in. Or maybe give him a necklace right after you two exchange rings? (Not sure if you're religious, but maybe a nice gold cross or something like that? Or just a gold chain? I'd have so many ideas if he was a girl, lol!)

Anyway, I think it's so cute that he's excited and can't wait for you guys to become a family! You're very lucky!

JenJune3 · June 2010

When my brother got married to his first wife, she had a daughter and Jason got her a ring as well, I know you can't really get a boy a ring, that may be weird, but maybe after you say your vows you could say vows to not replace his mommy but be there always for him

NAPgreen · June 2010

A guys bracelet or necklace would be great...but his mother is very mean...shes always hated my FI for "getting her pregnant" (last I checked it took two peope for that to happen) and I am afraid if we got that and he went to her house with it we'd never see it again...shoudl we still do that or any other ideas?...we aren't going to do a sand ceremony, we've already settled the unity candle and thats what we wanted...but thank you so much for everyones help!!! ideas are very welcomed!

Catalina Island Bound · June 2010

We did do a Sand Ceremony at our DW, and we had our kiddos (although they're quite a bit older than yours) pour sand in as well. It was a great feeling having them be a part of our ceremony!

There was a photo taken of each one of our children there pouring the sand!

Brian's daughter

My oldest daughter

My youngest daughter

My son, the oldest.

DiamondDani · June 2010

Well if you really want to do the unity candle, why don't you just get him his own small candle with his name on it? Then you can all three light the big unity candle together?

akhunter1 · June 2010

He looks so handsome in his uniform! That was very special for you to include them in that. I think a necklace like a St. Christopher or something would be nice. Or even saying a special vow to him like we will always love and you support your decisions etc.

KristenCR · June 2010

I like the necklace idea, and if you think his mother would 'lose' it, you can just tell him that its a special necklace for special occasions and you guys will keep it safe for when he can wear it. The only other thing I've heard of (other than what's been metioned) is just when you saying your vows and you guys have joined hands, join hands with him and say some family vows.

caymans_christy · June 2010

I was in a wedding where they said vows to the kid. Those vows were longer than the vows to each other and it was a little bit creepy for quite a few of us watching. I would vote for participation in the sand ceremony/unity candle or a quick set of family vows... seriously though, don't make it the bigger focus than the two of you actually getting married.

Orchid2011 · June 2010

I agree with saying a few words in your vows towards him and also getting him his own little candle with his name and he can join you lighting it. Getting him the necklace and keeping it at your hourse is not a bad idea either.

smilz4milz · June 2010

I vote to include him in the unity candle ceremony. If you're worried about getting him something nice and it being taken away my his mom, then maybe that's just not a good option. I remember my dad getting me things when I was little and not being able to take them "home" (to my mom's). It was odd to me even when I was little and made me feel stuck in the middle of my divorced parent's drama (it didn't matter that I was only 5...I still knew what was going on, no one had to spell it out for me).

So that's just my 2 cents since I remember all of that stuff like it was yesterday.

BTW, I think that is *awesome* that you have such a great and special relationship with your step-son-to-be!!!

My soon to be step son

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