I have a destination wedding planned (it is now less than 6 months away) I have 3 of my friends/bridemaids already planning to come to my destination wedding and share our special day...they in turn will all be wearing the same dress and sitting at the head table at our reception we are having back at home 2 weeks after our wedding. My other friend has been telling me she may go/she may not be able to afford to go. I need to KNOW SOON if she is coming or not because my fiance would need to ask his brother-in-law to be his 4th groomsman, problem is we have seen him twice which would have been a great and appropriate to ask him in person, now we may not see him until the wedding and if my friend says she'll go we have to ask him on the phone which isn't so appropriate and "will look like he was a second thought"...I told my fiance it won't appear that awful to him when we explain the situation, but he is pretty mad that we're sitting around and waiting on my friend. He also says if she is not going to be at the wedding why would she be sitting at the head table at the reception? She ended up buying dresses with all of us even though she can't give me an answer on going. If she says she can't come to our destination wedding would you still have her at the head table? What do I say to her so we don't start a war, It's fine if she can't come, I understand finances, but I just don't know how to do the reception.