Asking for "envelope" gifts?

ocgirl310 · March 2010

So my mom just recently received an invitation to my second cousin's wedding, it would require that my parents fly and they can't afford it so they are not attending. They would send a nice present but because of the long "letter" enclosed in the envelope my mom is re-thinking sending a gift and I don't blame her. This is exactly how the letter read.
titled- "Wedding Gifts"

If you are considering giving us a wedding gift, we graciously ask you to take the following into regard.
K__ and I currently live in Seattle and we will have to fly to the wedding location. We will then fly from the wedding location to our honeymoon and then fly back to Seattle.Since we do not live at the wedding location, we will have to carry all of the wedding gifts with us. This will not be possible if there are many gift boxes.
Unfortunately our apartment does not have a secure way to reveive mailed packages.
We ask that any gifts, either mailed or given in person at the wedding, have the ability to fit in an envelope instead of a box.
Thank you. (yes a period after the "thank you")

zippityb · March 2010

I'd send them some coupons. Those fit in an envelope. As do a packet of seeds. And a tampon.

goheels05 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-envelope-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bf5afed6-961e-4da4-a9c6-bca6631617cdPost:ad6dde5c-6928-4b54-a001-33a2ffcbd964">Re: Asking for "envelope" gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd send them some coupons. Those fit in an envelope. As do a packet of seeds. And a tampon.
Posted by zippityb[/QUOTE]

Like.

janedoe1113a · March 2010

Yea, I would just send a card.

georgia_bride09 · March 2010

I'd just send a card. No reason to sink down to her level of rudeness.

sucrets4 · March 2010

Wow, that's awful.

We did the same thing, only after our HM we flew to Reno for a conference that DH needed to attend. If people were gracious enough to give us gifts, we figured out a way to get them home.

I'm with zippity (in a world where you could do stuff like that), but yeah, a card would be fine.

opalsky007 · March 2010

I like the "box full of nothing" option, but yeah, just send a card.

goheels05 · March 2010

Anyone close enough to be invited to the wedding would know they live in Seattle, right? Why do people assume their wedding guests are blubbering idiots who need to be told what to do?

ocgirl310 · March 2010

Yeah I don't understand how they could ask for money like that in such a rude round about way. But I like the tampon idea:) that's hilarious! Just proved to me how rude it is to ask for anything gift related in your invitation. Every bride considering specifying what she wants in an invitation should receive a letter like this and hopefully they would realize how it makes people feel. My mom thought it was rude and my aunt was pissed!!

ocgirl310 · March 2010

Sucrets- that's what my mom said, they could figure out a way to get their presents back home. My cousin got married in Mesa last year and lives in San Diego, so they drove so they could transport their presents. They could figure it out too.

MyNameIsNot · March 2010

I could fit an etiquette book in an envelope.

I think I might actually go buy an ugly picture or something and put it in a big envelope.

ocgirl310 · March 2010

Ok I'm gonna tell my mom to send just a card then. She was thinking about a gift card too, but I don't think I will let her:)

mushE · March 2010

Ugh, we had a similar invite from a friend of FI's who was living in Austin but got married in Chicago. They put "no boxed gifts" at the bottom of the invite, which got me all riled up. I had a similar reaction to Heels' - do you think we're idiots? We know you don't live in Chicago, and your website says you're going on your honeymoon directly from the wedding, so I wouldn't send you a package shortly before or after the wedding.

However, I have a hard time getting on the just-send-a-card bandwagon. I would say, think about whether that would cause a big stink in the family. If so, I'd just try to rise above their rudeness and send a (probably smaller than normal) monetary gift.

squirrly · March 2010

The RSVP card marked "decline" with a write in note "Enjoy your honeymoon."

JessAndTrav · March 2010

I'd probably buy a whole bunch of "play" money from the dollar store and fill up a box or big envelope with it.

I'd possibly toss in a copy of Emily Post's Etiquette.

ETA: MyNameIsNot -- I didn't see your resposnse when I posted this.

And FWIW, in reality, I probably would just bring a card that was from the Dollar Tree, where cards are only $.50.

[Deleted User] · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-envelope-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bf5afed6-961e-4da4-a9c6-bca6631617cdPost:b06a207a-3f28-456e-bcf0-a408ccbf4307">Asking for "envelope" gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Asking for gifts?
Posted by ocgirl310[/QUOTE]
re-read this. there's your answer.

ocgirl310 · March 2010

Haha I like the ideas:) MushE- to answer your question about whether or not it would upset the family by just sending a card, I really don't think it would. The groom is my mom's cousin's son whom she has only seen about 10 times since he was born. I have never talked to the guy ever. We are somewhat close to one of his sisters that lives in our area and we went to her wedding two years ago. We have a very large extended family and I honestly don't think he even really knows what my parents look like:)

goheels05 · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_asking-envelope-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:bf5afed6-961e-4da4-a9c6-bca6631617cdPost:047af48a-e3ec-4e08-a481-970685a140a9">Re: Asking for "envelope" gifts?</a>:
[QUOTE]Haha I like the ideas:) MushE- to answer your question about whether or not it would upset the family by just sending a card, I really don't think it would. The groom is my mom's cousin's son whom she has only seen about 10 times since he was born. I have never talked to the guy ever. We are somewhat close to one of his sisters that lives in our area and we went to her wedding two years ago. We have a very large extended family and I honestly don't think he even really knows what my parents look like:)
Posted by ocgirl310[/QUOTE]

Well there's the problem, right there. They invited everyone they know to their wedding in an attempt to get more gifts. Fail.

SparrowSong · March 2010

I don't think I'd be nasty enough to actually send an empty box. Or a big old ugly punchbowl. But I'd be enjoying the fantasy of doing so as I filled out a card with a kind congratulatory message and dropped it in the mail.

My gosh I find entitlement offensive.

maggyruth · March 2010

E-card.

lissypooh628 · March 2010

THAT is tacky. I'm sorry.... I know it's your cousin,but really???

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