Wedding Party
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Same Resort?

I have a very close friend that I have known from childhood who is getting married in Mexico 3 months before my wedding. Because hers is a destination wedding, and very expensive to attend, I am not able to afford going so close to my own wedding. She had asked me to be a bridesmaid, and she is one of my bridesmaids. She made me feel very guilty for not being able to attend her wedding, but it is just asking too much of me. I am still helping with the bridal shower and bachelorette party.

The issue is that my fiance and I have chosen the same resort where she is getting married for our honeymoon. Without knowing that it was the same resort, my fiance fell in love with it, and we both have our hearts set on going there for our own honeymoon. We have not booked yet, and have looked at other options but just have our hearts set on that same resort. My gut feeling (and that of my close family that I have told about the situation) is that it is my honeymoon and I shouldn't worry about anything. However, I do feel guilty that I can't go to her wedding, but am going to the same place 3 months later.

My question is how do I tell her this without hurting her feelings or causing drama with her, since she is one of my bridesmaids as well. HELP!

Re: Same Resort?

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    I answered you in your thread on Eitquette. If you're going to post in more than one place add "XP" to your post title so people know it's on here more than once. 
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    I don't think going to the same resort for your honeymoon should be any kind of issue for her.  The fact is, you're both getting married, and you both have honeymoon plans-she just combined hers with her wedding.  She shouldn't blink an eye that you can't afford to do both.  It shouldn't make a difference where your honeymoon is.
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    While it shouldn't be an issue, I can tell from your original post that you know it will be an issue. 

    On one hand, you have every right to go there. It's your honeymoon and you already planned to go there. No one is required to attend a wedding, especially a destination wedding. If you continue with your plans, you are completely, absolutely in the right.

    On the other hand, from the way you described her, she's going to be mad. You are not going to be able to do this without any drama or hurt feelings. She is going to make snide remarks about you saying you don't have the money only to go to the same exact resort 3 months later. She may say something like you got the idea from her wedding. If you want to continue this friendship, it really might make sense to just find another resort. I have done a lot of traveling in Mexico and many of the resorts are very, very similar. You haven't booked anything yet so you have that option.o

    Other posters said you don't have to tell her where you are going. I'm not sure how that would be possible if she is close enough to be one of your bridesmaids. I could not imagine how I would get around it if one of my friends asked where I was going on my honeymoon. Also, she could (and probably will) find out from someone else so if you plan to keep your plans as-is you will need to be honest with her.
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