Memorial

Re: Memorial

• shan87

  

  March 2012

  I did a memorial for my Father.
  
  What we did was leave an empty seat next to my Step Mother on the pew (put a rose on the seat) with a little card that said his Name. In addition we had a memorial candle that was lit at the front of church. (and brought with tot he reception site) I don't have a picture of it at work but I can post a picture when I get home. I bought one since it was cheap but you can easily DIY. It said "This candle is lit in memory of Insert Father Name, who is no longer here in person but forever in our hearts" or something similar.
  
  To top it off we also put a note in our program that was for all of our family members that had passed (including my sister, grandparents and dad).

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• divinemsbee member

  

  March 2012

  I think Shan's idea sounds good. I would, however, talk to both your FI and your FMIL (or FSMIL, whichever applies) and get their views on what, if anything, they would like to do. This idea only works if the immediate family think it's something they want, and I wouldn't push them. You don't want to make them uncomfortable or more sad than they might already be; don't let it be a surprise. 

  
  

  I think a memorial with a flag or the table that we see at the birthday balls or other occasions might be a bit much. It might veer off into straight up "memorial" territory instead of it being a "memorial for loved ones at a wedding." 
  

  
  

  

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• amh04

  

  March 2012

  I agree with PP's. I'd really check to see what you're family is wanting to do and what they are comfortable with.
  This might sound bad, but even with a death just barely a week before our wedding (H's grandmother) we didn't want it to be a sad moment. A wedding is a place to celebrate so I wouldn't go as far as to create a huge memorial for him, but you could place a rose in his seat at the ceremony and a rose on an empty seating place at the reception (just make sure your FMIL, FSMIL is okay with this - that could be a little too hard for her emotionally) and then do a candle by the guest book.
  
  Here is a picture of the candle we did (and placed next to the guest book so it would be seen). 
  
  
  (Bad picture, but it says In loving memory of those who are forever present in our hearts)
  
  I do like the idea of putting something in the program as well. If you are having a prayer you can include it in that way too. Just don't try to do too much, while you have sweet thoughtful intentions at mind - you don't want to take away from the happiness and celebratory aspect of your wedding either.

  

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• crownsuperstar member

  

  March 2012

  We had two chairs that had flowers tied to them that matched what the girls were carring.  The chairs would have been where my dad and his mother sat.  It looked really nice because it was at the front and everyone could see them. We also put a small note in the program about them.

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• Alexhobbs member

  

  March 2012

  Y'all, thank you so much for the feedback and the picture! His father died when he was about 8/9 years old, so I'm not really all that worried about it being too hard/much on the FMIL or anything.... This is something that The Groom himself has expressed an interest in, but is kinda fumbling on how to do it.  That's why I thought it would be good to reach out to this board - and I wasn't wrong!   I'll probbaly just wind up using a framed picture, candle and/or yellow rose at the reception or something. 
  
  Then again, if The Groom doesn't start cracking on his "to do list" soon, I might need material for a second memorial....... for HIM
  
  
  
  Thanks again!
  Alex

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