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Not my mother in law..more like my father in law.

Britt1893Britt1893
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
My father and my future father in law don't get along. They are civil when everyone is around, but I would be afraid what would happen if they were alone. I'm a daddy's girl. Have been my whole life. I also love my future father in law.. so...what do I do?
He stole my heart, so I'm stealing his last name.
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Re: Not my mother in law..more like my father in law.

  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ....nothing? They don't need to be BFFs and you don't have to take sides or anything. If they can be civil around others and in the presence of you and your FI, then that's fine. When would they ever be alone?

    Can I ask why they do not get along? Politics, religion, outlook on life, etc? What's the history? I need more information. 
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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    They don't have to like each other, they just have to be civil at family functions, and they are.

    Avoid any sit-com style plots to get them to bond, and you should be fine.
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  • Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I'm in a similar situation. There is nothing you can do to make them be bffs. But you can help make things less awkward, like seating them at separate tables. What situations would cause them to be alone?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    You don't do anything.  They are adults and since you said that they act civil when at family functions I don't get what you are worried about.  Both sets of parents do not have to be best of friends or even like each other...but as long as they can put their differences aside at family get togethers then I really wouldn't worry too much about your Father and FFIL getting along.

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  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
    100 Comments
    They are adults and should be able to handle it like adults...meaning that they hopefully do not let it get out of hand. When marrying someone and joining two families its bound some people arent going to get along...its normal.

    Whatever you do, do not get yourself in the middle.
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    My parents and H's parents are polar opposites-- like Tea Party Republican and Socialist opposites. They do not agree on much at all except that they love their children and want to make them happy. The 3 times that our parents have met were very civil and they found other things to talk about besides their usual favorite subjects. If you are scared that your parents will clash, I would let them know in advance which topics might be sticky. I let my parents know what H's family was like and they knew that to keep the peace they should not talk politics or religion and everything was just fine.

    Do not worry about making them into friends or think that you have to truly merge the families. They will probably have very little contact after your wedding and that is ok.
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