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Maid and Matron of honor- family ideas about

welterkwelterk
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in Moms and Maids
I'll try to make this short. My sister got married in 2007, and though we aren't close, I was her maid of honor. So, now that I am getting married, I feel as though she should be my matron of honor. However, I have a best friend who is like a sister to me, and would like to give her a maid of honor title. My mom says it is weird and doesn't understand why I can't call my BF a bridesmaid. That it is an honor to be in the wedding, that title doesn't matter. i am glad to see that I'm not the only one doing this, but I need advice on how to deal with mom. Her other concern is that it may become awkward to know who is doing  what tasks. Plus, my sister and BF wil probably but heads. Personally, all I  really want to show how important my BF is to me by calling her MOH. Any advice on dealing with mom?
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Re: Maid and Matron of honor- family ideas about

  • LittleMissCutiePieLittleMissCutiePie
    500 Comments
    It's actually very traditional that the bride has a matron and a maid of honor. Tell your mom that. Also, they should be able to put aside any differences and collaborate on any tasks they decide they want to complete. ex. they both plan your shower, and maid of honor takes care of food while matron of honor decorates, they both plan your bachelorette, the maid of honor plans venue, the matron of honor plans activites. Also, in case you're wondering, any tasks that your bridal party do for you should be treated as a gift, and should never be asked for, only offered by them. By this I mean, if they don't plan you a bachelorette, don't ask for one. Just go without.

    If you should run into the issue of them butting heads, just say "Maid, Matron, I love you both. Please, can we put aside our differences, and act like adults?"
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  • RaptorSLHRaptorSLH member
    500 Comments First Anniversary
    Tell your mom that if title doesn't matter, you should be able to give them to whomever you choose, then refuse to discuss the matter over.

    Also, wedding party titles are not tit for tat.  You are not obligated to name your sister matron of honor (although I certainly understand the diplomatic reasons for doing so.)
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited January 2012
    Your mom is wrong on two counts. 1.There is nothing strange about having two Maids or Matrons of Honor. 2. The bride, not the MOB, gets to decide who is in her wedding party and what title each person has.

    The only duties of the MsOH will be to buy the dress that you have selected, show up on time for the ceremony, stand beside you to assist with your flowers, hold the rings, and sign the marriage certificate. It's not such a big deal to divide those duties.

                       
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  • renegade gauchorenegade gaucho member
    100 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_maid-matron-of-honor-family-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:66f83e39-7c19-4f1d-82b2-4735e5173c14Post:57481490-f989-476d-9471-2957d46932ef">Maid and Matron of honor- family ideas about</a>:
    [QUOTE]. Her other concern is that it may become awkward to know who is doing  what tasks.
    Posted by welterk[/QUOTE]

    What does this even mean?  It's no secret that both your maid and matron of honor will be buying a dress and walking down the aisle.  Since any other wedding-related tasks are the responsibility of you and your fiance, I can't imagine why anything would be awkward.
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  • getaclue44getaclue44 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    I had to talk to my mom because I decided to have my BF be my MOH and my sister  a BM--she was worried about how it would look to the rest of the family--told her that she should be worried about me and not everyone else--and that I wasn't budging--I explained what a MOH means to me--and how my sister doesn't fit that bill--thankfully she has backed down--and my sister did not throw the fit my FI and I anticipated:)
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