Not sure where this would fall... Kinda long. Sorry

nikegrl688 · January 2013

So my Fi and I have been together for 5 years next month. He proposed to me in October and I have been looking for places to get married since Nov. Took Dec off because of the holiday traditions we have... We are from different places and would be asking guests to fly in from all over to attend our wedding so he wants to do it over a two day weekend like Memorial or Labor day... But we live in South Florida.

Rewind.... we were down in Key West for Memorial day this year and saw a wedding on the pier over the ocean and we fell in love with this look and this is what I have been looking into for our venue. I have been talking to the catering manager and had all the details laid out.
Fast forward to New Years and we had a party. Fi best friend asked where and when we are getting married and he said I want to do the Key West wedding that we saw (Fi friend was with us for the Memorial day weekend ) and so on and so forth.

Fast forward on more time to last week when I told him I worked everything out and we can do a two day weekend wedding in the Keys. I wanted to do it for Labor Day next year (2014) and I worked everything out. Payment plan to have it paid off before we marry, hotel will block rooms for us, whole nine yards. Seems perfect right...

Now, he doesnt want to do it and wont tell me why other then the fact he doesnt want to wait that long to get married.

Does the amount of time you are engaged matter as long as you get married? Am I missing something?

OliveOilsMom · January 2013

What I would suggest now is to ask your FI what type of wedding he wants. Maybe he has other reasons for not wanting the Key West wedding. Perhaps the cost is more than he wants to spend, but is having a hard time telling you that because you are so excited about it.

There are many reasons people have long engagements. There are couples out there who are just engaged, with no plans for a wedding at all. My friend's aunt & uncle have been engaged for 30 years. Others need to wait a certain amount of time for the couple to meet the requirements of their church. As a Catholic, we had a minimum of 6 months we had to wait before we could marry. There are lots of pre-marital requirements to fulfill prior to the wedding.

The only way you are going to figure it out is by talking with your FI. Ask him how soon does he want to marry. If you don't see anything wrong with his timeline, make it work. But if you want to wait, he should also be respectful of that. Then you would need to work out a compromise.

beardownbchs · January 2013

I have a similar timeframe - we'll have been together for 7 years and engaged for 2 when we get married. We need enough time to save enough money to have the wedding we want, so two year engagement it is!

Like PP said, every couple is different. Sit down and try to talk to him (as nicely as you can) and see if it truely is the timeframe or if it's something else. Regardless of what it is, (I'm sure you already know this, but) don't attack him about it and try to find something that works for both of you.

nikegrl688 · January 2013

Thanks all !!!

I appreciate the advice! I will sit him down this weekend and see if we can come to some sort of plan or idea of what he is thinking!!

Peavy · January 2013

There are couples out there who are just engaged, with no plans for a wedding at all. My friend's aunt & uncle have been engaged for 30 years

This made me laugh. If they haven't gotten around to getting married in the last 30 years, my guess is that they're never going to do it.

Not sure where this would fall... Kinda long. Sorry

Re: Not sure where this would fall... Kinda long. Sorry

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