Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Registry and Gift Forum
Registry and Gift Forum
New Discussion
Options

Still living with Mom and Dad

CVB106CVB106
First Comment
in Registry and Gift Forum
My husband and I recently got married, by courts.  However we are planning for an 11/11/11 church ceremony and reception.  Due to my husbands career, he'll be traveling off and on for about 2 years.  With him not being home it's wise of us to stay living with my parents and not having to pay rent when niether of us will be enjoying our home.  Do we still register?  If so, what? My mom says we should but I am completely stuck.  And I honestly don't want to register for a toaster oven, utensils, etc for something we won't be using for awhile and that we will need to place in strorage.  Please help.  Thank you!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Still living with Mom and Dad

  • Options
    ehathewaehathewa
    First Comment
    You're probably going to get pretty mixed reviews on this. 

    If you don't want to register, don't.  I still think it would be OK to register for a few thigns.  Maybe a set of china or matching dishes?  A set of nice white fluffy towels or sheets? 

    PS - I think that it is weird you'll be married and living with your parents. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CVB106CVB106
    First Comment
    I know some think it's weird.  We've been living with my parents for 4 years now.  However he'll be traveling, and I will travel with him, 9 months through out the 12 months.  So financially it doesn't make sense for us to pay morgage/rent that can be $1200+ a month , in So-Cal, for 3 years.  So I'm stumped about what to register.  Do we register for travel equipment? Stuff for the bedroom and bathroom?
    Report Reply
  • Options
    flamingtwig72flamingtwig72 member
    First Comment
    You generally don't register if you're already legally married. You also don't generally have another ceremony after you're already married...so I don't know what to tell you. I wouldn't do either of those things if I were you.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    MNVegasMNVegas member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I would not register. Like others said, you are already married. Your ceremony next year will be a vow renewal and party. Most people do not register for vow renewals especially if they have been only married for about a year before vow renewal.
    Mary Click here for my bio! image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    Galaxy8227Galaxy8227
    First Comment
    Even though you will have already been married for awhile, some guests who come to the reception might still want to get you a gift--so you could register, but not for a lot of things since I'm assuming you won't be having a shower or anything. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Options
    NatandIsaacNatandIsaac
    First Comment
    It's not really appropriate to register for gifts for a vow renewal. 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • Options
    DanielleZZDanielleZZ member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_still-living-mom-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:e86ba3aa-3107-477e-a747-556ae56944fbPost:5ebd0ebd-fa4e-4676-8400-63061124a7de">Re: Still living with Mom and Dad</a>:
    [QUOTE]Even though you will have already been married for awhile, some guests who come to the reception might still want to get you a gift--so you could register, but not for a lot of things since I'm assuming you won't be having a shower or anything. 
    Posted by Galaxy8227[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this.
    Trying to Conceive Ticker Anniversary
    Report Reply
  • Options
    i2012doi2012do member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2010
    I dont agree with PP's. I dont really think its a "vow" renewal per say.
    You were only married in the courts. Perhaps now you are doing a religious type ceremony in order to recognize your marriage in a church. Either way, its none of our business.

    Since you are traveling so much- it makes sense to live at home.
    What about registering for travel items.
    Like a nice throw blanket, some new good sturdy luggage and then some smaller travel items- like a nice travel container set (you know the ones that come with all the little bottles).

    You can also always register for nice sheets that you guys can use at home at your parents, and perhaps a nice bedding set-- jsut because you are there only 3 months out of the year- doesnt mean you cant personalize your space with bedding you like.... plus then even if you want to get a new" look" when you ultimately stop traveling and settle down-- you can always use it in a guest room...rather than buy new.

    I would hold off on big products like kitchen mixers and the like. and perhaps if you ahve a wedding website provide a link to your registries and write a message like "Due to our current career circumstances we will not be able to go the tradiional routre and set up our home for a few years... because of thuis, we have registered for travel items and items that make coming home a bit cozier."
    www.weddedeverafter.blogspot.com
    167 Invited image 34 Attending image Declined 4 image Still Waiting 129 image
    Report Reply
  • Options
    naomikbnaomikb member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_still-living-mom-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:e86ba3aa-3107-477e-a747-556ae56944fbPost:e463daa8-383f-4844-8017-1a80567dba5e">Re: Still living with Mom and Dad</a>:
    [QUOTE]I dont agree with PP's. I dont really think its a "vow" renewal per say. <strong>You were only married in the courts.</strong>....and perhaps if you ahve a wedding website provide a link to your registries and write a message like "Due to our current career circumstances we will not be able to go the tradiional routre and set up our home for a few years... because of thuis, we have registered for travel items and items that make coming home a bit cozier."
    Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]
    i2012, you are going to get some flak for this.  A court wedding is a wedding, and is the start of a marriage.  They are married.

    Also, I would avoid adding extra little messages into your registry.  They usually just add more chaos to an already awkward situation.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    marissa_clairemarissa_claire member
    First Comment
    I wouldn't register for two reasons - 
    1) I don't think people should ever register if you're not inviting people to the actual wedding ceremony.  They are getting you a gift because you're getting married, not because you're throwing a party for them.  (I know there's a lot of backwards thinking otherwise, but they shouldn't just be getting a gift because you're paying for dinner and drinks.)

    2) If you're living with your parents, I just think you'll want different things when you do establish your own home.  Yes, odds are that stuff would end up in storage, but I think until you start putting your own home together it's tough to know what you need and what your tastes will be.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    sister2groomsister2groom
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_still-living-mom-dad?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:e86ba3aa-3107-477e-a747-556ae56944fbPost:49015969-26e9-47aa-8eba-021366ae35ce">Re: Still living with Mom and Dad</a>:
    [QUOTE] I don't think people should ever register if you're not inviting people to the actual wedding ceremony.  They are getting you a gift because you're getting married, not because you're throwing a party for them.  (I know there's a lot of backwards thinking otherwise, but they shouldn't just be getting a gift because you're paying for dinner and drinks.)
    Posted by marissa_claire[/QUOTE]
    Agreed
    Report Reply
  • Options
    bdrileybdriley
    First Comment
    Guests coming to celebrate with you will want to buy gifts but some might be uncomfortable with the term "Wedding Registry".  You could try setting up a "Wish List" on Amazon for travel items and fun things you guys want like games.  The upside to Amazon is that they have to ship it and people can buy off it for holidays and birthdays along the way. :)  If someone asks what they can get you then you can direct them to your Wish List and avoid the side-eye people might otherwise give about a Wedding Registry for a post-wedding celebration.
    Report Reply
  • Options
    CVB106CVB106
    First Comment
    I would like to say Thank You to all who have responded to my posting.  I repsect everyones responses and I'm glad that I now have an answer to my question.  Hope everyone has a wonderful time planning for your nuptials.  =]
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards