No idea where to send gifts!

laschmela · November 2010

Hi all,

My fiance and I don't live together, and there's a strong possibility we'll be moving across the country within a month after the wedding for me to go to grad school. Are there any stores with registries that could let us hold gifts until we have an address? We don't really want to lug everything with us across county when it'd be easier--and cheaper-- for stores to send gifts directly to our new home together than to have gifts sent to my already-cluttered apartment only for us to pack it and move it in a few months. Plus, I don't want to leave brand new china up to movers to handle--to likely it'll get broken and I won't have the recourse of a warranty or exchange opportunity! Thoughts?

marissa_claire · November 2010

I think you might be out of touch with reality a bit. No store is going to let you hold a mound of presents at their store. Most guests will bring them physically to your shower or your wedding. I've only had a small few shipped to my home.

Of the ones that would be shipped, that is at the guest's expense - not the store's. What you're suggesting sounds like you expect the store to pay to ship all those presents without anyone paying.

A lot of brides have had to lug presents across the country. It's not that bad. In you're particular boat, depending on where your wedding is, I'd see if you have your parents or maybe a friend or someone has an extra guest room where they wouldn't mind storing the presents until you're ready to move.

laschmela · November 2010

Thanks for the reply, although the suggestion that I'm "out of touch with reality" is quite rude. I've bought plenty of presents off registries for friends and I know who has to pay for the shipping. That's obvious. But I've never set up a registry before for my own wedding. That's also obvious, and that's why I'm asking for community input.

My question is, since some registries let you set up an additional mailing address and set a date (presumably after the wedding day) for that to become the primary ship-to address, are there stores that allow me or guests to delay shipment until we're set up somewhere, or at least until we know what state we'll be living in? It's like asking the post office to hold your mail when you're on vacation. Macy's FAQ says they won't hold gifts, but that doesn't mean other stores won't. And money is saved, regardless of who's saving it, by having items shipped to a final destination than by paying to ship them to one place, then having to pay to ship them again with movers.

Does anyone else have any helpful suggestions?

noodle_oo · November 2010

Unfortunately, I really don't think you can do this. The store doesn't want to hold your items for you. As soon as they are bought, they want the inventory out of their warehouse and they want to collect payment. There is no business incentive for them to provide this service for you.

The only thing you can do is wait to give out your registry information until you know where you will be, so that way people can just have the gifts shipped there. But it sounds like you don't even know for sure if you are moving and it will be after the wedding. You will most likely get all your gifts purchased before or right after the wedding. How long are you expecting someone to hold these gifts for you?

Maybe you should just not register. That way you'll probably get mostly cash and can just buy what you want after you move. Of course, if you don't register, then you can't accept a shower either.

It sounds to me like you want to have your cake and eat it too. I don't mean to be mean or rude, but seriously, your question is a little unrealistic.

LauraT25 · November 2010

I would make a very small registry, so that there are less gifts to move, and decline a shower if I did not want a lot of gifts. Although, we mostly registered for upgrades so that the majority of our gifts did not actually take up extra room once we got rid of the items they replaced. Personally, I would rather deal with moving the items at that stage in my life, since most people just starting graduate school are in desperate need for home goods.

The 'ship here after such-and-such date' means that you have one address for shipping before that date, and another for after that date. It doesn't mean that the store holds your gifts. I'm sure that your friends and family will understand that you are uncertain where you will be living, and you can let people know by word of mouth that you would prefer not to have to move a lot of gifts across country.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · November 2010

Some stores, like Bed Bath and Beyond, will allow you to return the gifts for credit, then re-buy them after you move. Several people have done this when they live out of state, but have weddings in their home town. Just keep a list of what was bought and who gave it to you.

MyNameIsNot · November 2010

The idea that stores are going to allow you to leave your gifts there until you are ready to have them delivered IS out of touch with reality. Stores aren't interested in being free storage, and if you leave it for a month, it's likely that any credit you have will have expired or your items will have gotten lost in the shuffle.

If you know for sure where you will be going, get a mailboxes etc box in the city you'll be moving to and use that for a shipping address until you get there. They'll charge you to store, but they will hold packages until you're ready to pick them up. Otherwise, you're going to have stuff delivered to your current home, and ship it when you get ready to move.

While many stores will allow you to return and repurchase in a home location, it isn't likely that they will let you do that a month or so after the wedding. Normal return days are max 30 days, and you'll get most of your gifts at showers or to your home prior to the wedding.

laschmela · November 2010

Ok. Thanks for the suggestions. I think the Mailboxes Etc. box is probably the best option.

I really don't understand the need to say that I'm "out of touch with reality" or being unrealistic or asking for the moon. This is a forum for brides who haven't been planning their weddings since they were 10 to ask questions and get insight, not to be told they're being ridiculous. What would be ridiculous is going ahead with my "unrealistic" plans without asking questions to people who have been there and may have answers, and then getting screwed in the end. Did anyone plan her entire wedding without buying a "how-to" book or bridal magazines, or inquiring on the Knot or with girlfriends, or seeking help from a planner? So I appreciate the advice, but not the "reality check." I'm well aware of the things I need help on, and that's why I'm asking the questions. Thanks!

MyNameIsNot · November 2010

Uh, this is really not the place for people who've been planning their weddings since they were 10.

The reason I mentioned it is that you got all bent out of shape and defensive, when what the PP said was correct. It is an unrealistic expectation. If you're going to get all wrapped up in a knot anytime anyone says something you don't like, well, it's going to be an interesting life.

DanielleZZ · November 2010

I had people send gifts to my parents house that way we could get them whenever was best for us.

No idea where to send gifts!

Re: No idea where to send gifts!

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