Maid of honor DELEMMA!!!

trevinocatrina · June 2010

Ok, So Big dilemma. I chose my Maid of Honor already and told her she would be it. She has been my friend since 6th grade and we have been planning our weddings since. But she is not really doing anything. No support and she lives almost an hour away. My sister in-law has been involved and being very helpful and supportive. What should I do?!?

rrogers24 · June 2010

Have you spoken to your best friend? I had the same issue with my Matron of Honor in that she did not seem excited and was not helping me at all. We had a talk about it and everything has worked itself out. My cousin will be my Matron and my friend will be a bridesmaid.

trevinocatrina · June 2010

a littl bit, but not really. I am afraid that she is going to get her feelings hurt and back out completely.

MdniteMustang00 · June 2010

i had this problem. i picked my sister as my maid of honor but my best friend ended up doing more work.... rather than demote my sis...i just upgrade my best friend and i had two maid of honors.

akg0053 · June 2010

It's rude to fire your MOH. At the end of the day, nobody has to be excited about your wedding. It's your wedding, not theirs, so as long as she shows up to your wedding, that's really all she has to do. Therefore, I think you need to either promote you SIL or leave it alone (this all being said going on the assumption that your MOH hasn't actually done anything truly heinous or rude to you).

trevinocatrina · June 2010

I know its my wedding and I don't expect her to be as happy as me but at the same time I want support. She just has no motivation... I love her and she is my best friend, but I am just not sure... She and my other brides maid are pretty much trying to make it all about them.... there hair there make up... etc...

MdniteMustang how did you have them who stood next to you during your ceromony?

sweet__pea · June 2010

If you picked her to be your MOH, there had to be a good reason why you did it. Have you expressed your concerns to her? She probably hasn't realized what is expected of her. Granted, I get that you don't expect her to be just as excited for you about getting married, but she may not be aware of what all you ARE expecting for her to do/not do.

If I could get a penny for all the times I've heard this from brides having issues w/their WP, I'd be rich! The biggest problem lies in lack of communication of what is expected from the WP and vice versa. Just express your concerns to her, and if you both aren't on the same page, give her the option to back down or out; otherwise, you may just have to deal with it and accept it.

Midnite's idea is also a good one and just promote your other BM to MoH and have her standing "next" to you.

lewisc2002 · June 2010

i picked my sister to be my matron of honor - i live in houston, but was wedding planning for an East Coast wedding (where she lives). She was wrapped up with her kids, job, etc (her LIFE) and wasn't really supporting me . . . so we TALKED. It was great and we reached a new understanding - me understanding why she couldn't always be there and her understanding why i was frustrated and what i expected. And everything worked out great - i can't imagine having anyone else be my MOH.

emily.and.will · June 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-houston_maid-of-honor-delemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:121Discussion:83d30445-62c4-4e60-a694-3f42ebc25e0dPost:6487c148-4e47-4bf5-a13a-f4736dea73aa">Re: Maid of honor DELEMMA!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]If you picked her to be your MOH, there had to be a good reason why you did it. Have you expressed your concerns to her? She probably hasn't realized what is expected of her. Granted, I get that you don't expect her to be just as excited for you about getting married, but she may not be aware of what all you ARE expecting for her to do/not do. If I could get a penny for all the times I've heard this from brides having issues w/their WP, I'd be rich! The biggest problem lies in lack of communication of what is expected from the WP and vice versa. Just express your concerns to her, and if you both aren't on the same page, give her the option to back down or out; otherwise, you may just have to deal with it and accept it. Midnite's idea is also a good one and just promote your other BM to MoH and have her standing "next" to you.
Posted by sweet__pea[/QUOTE]

Amen!!!

STBMrsMartin · June 2010

For all you know your MOH you picked has no idea what her duties are as a MOH. it is all about expectations you set for your MOH and BMs. Like PP said there is a reason why you chose her to be your MOH. You didn't pick her as a MOH because you knew should do everything. You chose her because she is one of the most important people in your life and want to share your day with you in a special way. IIt really bothers me when brides believe the MOH is like the wedding planner needs to do this and that etc. With my MOH she was out of town and I knew she couldn't make it to alot the functions so we talked about expectations and so we both knew what to expect. So there wasn't any annoyance or arguments or hard feelings. On the day she did exactly what I wanted her to do. Stand next to me while I married by best friend.

If you believe the other BM deserves to be a MOH you can always have another MOH there is no rule saying you just need one.

MdniteMustang00 · June 2010

to original poster - to answer your question, i had my original MOH (my sister) actually standing next to me...well, cause she's my sister. And then my promoted MOH (my best friend) stand next to her. My best friend didnt really care where she stood...but she was really happy when she saw her name in the program with maid of honor next to it.

Maid of honor DELEMMA!!!

Re: Maid of honor DELEMMA!!!

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