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June 2012 Weddings
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duplicate gifts at shower-what would you do?

SarahAlRamadhanSarahAlRamadhan
10 Comments
in June 2012 Weddings

I reveived two salad bowls- both are the same style, but one is much larger than the other. I wanted to keep both, but my fiance thinks I am insane and that we should take one back. I thought we could use one for smaller dinners and one for larger dinners. Is this thinking rational or am I just being too senstive about returning a gift?

Secondly, we received two really nice flatware sets to go with our china, one was off of our registry and the other was not. One set was given to us by my inlaws and the other set was given to us by a close friend of our family. My fiance wants to keep the set that was given to us by our close friend of the family, but I feel really sad about not keeping what my inlaws gave us. She says she understands, but I feel like she wanted us to have something we could have forever. How do I return this gift and make her feel as though she gave us something special that will last forever?

My future mother in law graciously gave us a beautiful set of china that was given to her from her mother, but technically it was really from my Fiance's grandmother and not her. How do go about returning the flatware set and not hurt my in laws feelings? WWYD?

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Re: duplicate gifts at shower-what would you do?

  • daria24daria24 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Do you have room to keep both salad bowls? If so I would probably keep both of them, they are really useful. If you don't have room, I would return the larger one (if it's really huge) becasue you will get more use out of a small/medium sized one.

    As for the flatware, I understand that you don't want to hurt your FMIL's feelings. But you chose and registered for a set of flatware-she was obviously aware that you had a preferance but chose to get you something else instead. I sort of feel like she knew she was taking a risk when she bought it, so I would return it. 
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  • peachykeen26peachykeen26 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Honestly. I would return the 2nd set of flatware and keep the extra bowl.

    You aren't going to hurt someone's feelings by returning duplicates. If they are really that sensitive about it, then they should have gotten you something off of your registry. IMHO.

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  • MichelleAG05MichelleAG05
    100 Comments
    I'm all about having multiples of things but FI is NOT!  We'll probably return any duplicates that we get because we just don't have the room.  If you have a hutch or something that allows you to keep extra flatware - hang onto it!  You never know in the future how many guests you'll have at a time, etc.

    If you don't have the room - return it.  You can purchase something that you really need as opposed to finding space to store something that you don't need.  If your FIL ever bring it up (though it sounds like they won't) you can always blame it on FI.
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  • midgetthemightymidgetthemighty
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    FWIW, my parents have always had two sets of flatware. That being said, if you don't have space for it, keep the one you registered for. They will understand.

    I would personally keep both bowls. They don't just have to be for salad. :)
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  • SarahAlRamadhanSarahAlRamadhan
    10 Comments

    My Future Mother in Law got me the flatware set on my registry and the family friend (fiance's side) got us the other one which we have no clue how to return it. It did bug me a little bit but I know they were trying to do something nice for us. It does match the china set better as the flatware on the registry was to go with another china set we picked out.

    I just don't know how I should handle this.

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  • MMRoberts11MMRoberts11 member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited April 2012
    Honestly, I'd keep both bowls and do the lunch/dinner suggestion PP had.  As for the flatware, if you honestly don't think you'll need it I would return one set.  Personally, I like having extras so I don't have to wash them so much and if a few drop on the floor or something you'll still be fine.

    I have to return stuff too.  For whatever reason my registry got messed up and we received 3 sets of canisters and only registered for 1.
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