Wedding Etiquette Forum

Under my guartenteed # of confirmed guests

My RSVP date is by Wednesday of next week, we guarenteed a minimum of 150 at the hall.  In the last 3 days we have received so many unable to attend!  At first they were all coming in as positives, but now, even if the rest of the people on the list that we believe are going to come do we are going to be short by about 46 people!  It is too late to mail out invitations, I never though to come up with a "b" because I truly don't like the concept, but apparently because the wedding is a holiday weekend people are going away or it is too expensive for them to travel to NY.
That being said, there are some people that we had not thought to invite that we would like to include, is there a proper way to extend the invitation to them?  A lot of these are local people and we could hand deliver the invites.... I need input, thank you!

Re: Under my guartenteed # of confirmed guests

  • I would call the venue and ask if they upgrade the food, bar or something.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • It is great that you never came up with a B list as they are rude, rude, rude.  Ditto Lynda - talk to your venue about using the money you would have spent on those 46 people to upgrade the apps, meal, drinks, etc.

    Handing out invitations now guarantees that they will know they were b listed.  Don't do it.
  • Is your TK profile correct that your wedding isn't until Oct 6?

  • in Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_under-my-guartenteed-of-confirmed-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fb0517de-06cf-4afa-a1ec-0c0e306b6e69Post:0762600b-42ae-44b7-80c2-876dc0e2df1a">Re: Under my guartenteed # of confirmed guests</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is your TK profile correct that your wedding isn't until Oct 6?
    Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]

    Yes that is correct
  • B lists are pretty rude, so it's good you're not planning to have one.  I'd contact your venue and see if you can upgrade some items to make up the difference in cost between the minimum  and where you are at.  Upgrade the bar, add a dessert buffet instead of just serving cake, upgrade the entree, add a late night snack.  Hopefully they'll work with you so you can get something for the money, and not just have to pay extra for people who can't make it.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_under-my-guartenteed-of-confirmed-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fb0517de-06cf-4afa-a1ec-0c0e306b6e69Post:13a29a31-0034-46a6-bd8a-093d8b718d46">Re: Under my guartenteed # of confirmed guests</a>:
    [QUOTE]It is great that you never came up with a B list as they are rude, rude, rude.  Ditto Lynda - talk to your venue about using the money you would have spent on those 46 people to upgrade the apps, meal, drinks, etc. Handing out invitations now guarantees that they will know they were b listed.  Don't do it.
    Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

    I wish that we could upgrade, but we already did!  There really isn't anything else that I could have them add.... I am meeting with them on Sunday to finalize the menu.

    Thank you for your input :)
  • dumb question - how is Oct 6 a holiday weekend?  I'm missing a holiday i think - and I thought I got a day off for every holiday known to man !

    Anyway, I agree with those who are saying to upgrade or add.  Add a few appetizers, double up on desserts, apply the extra to the bar, use chair covers, things like that.  If you can't, then try to look at it as costing $X for your wedding, instead of $Y per person.

    Also, how many RSVPs are you currently missing?  Is it possible that when the rest of the missing RSVPs come in, you'll be closer to 150?  Do you have any guests that you invited without a +1 who might like to bring a date?  I don't think it would be rude to call them up and say 'hey, I wanted to let you know that if you would like to bring a date you're welcome to do so.  Just let me know by _______."

  • Columbus Day weekend Drama. 
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  • Thanks girlie  Do people get that off?  I thought we got everything off (public school) but apparently not.  I never think of it being a holiday weekend.
  • Thank you ladies for all of your suggestions and input.  I think I have to just chalk it up to the money is spent and I can always earn more :)  You can't take it with you right???

    Thank you all again!
  • Start asking for stuff. Do they do action stations during the cocktail hour? Can you get a carvng station? Mashed potato bar? Lamb chops? More passed apps? Ice sculpture? 

    For dinner- add a soup? Upgrade the entrees? Filet instead of prime rib? Another fish choice?

    Having a vienesse table? Chocolate fountain? Waffle station?

    Ask for more stuff!
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  • There was a knottie on here a while back who won a $50,000 wedding in some sort of contest.  Retread may remember her.

    Everything was already top of the line and even with her FI could only come up with 120 or so.

    So, she invited all the knottie in her area.  haha, we had never even met but it was one hell of a party!
  • Will the venue count your vendors or musicians as part of the guests to raise the number? Holiday weekends are always tough especially if there's a day off bc people generally like to go away for a long weekend.
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