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Title for Stepmother

cmay1890cmay1890 member
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I would like to order those shirts for my girls that read "Bridesmaids" "Bride"(me), "Maid of Honor", and "Bride's Mother". My fiance's stepmother is very much involved in the wedding planning (his mother...not really her thing, although we try to include her but she is never up for anything). I am not sure what to put on his step mother's shirt. He hesistated for a few minutes and then said "well just put "Groom's Mother". Is that weird? Is their any other appropriate title? I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable (meaning like she is taking over his mother's place). Any help would be great! Thanks! :)

-Courtney
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Re: Title for Stepmother

  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I have been a stepMOB and a MOB.  Please do NOT put mother of the groom on the stepmom's shirt.  That would be a huge slap to his mom.  If my stepdd's had done that their mother would have been shattered (and I did almost all of the planning with the older one).  I, too, would have been shattered if my DD's stepmom had a "mother of the bride" shirt.

    What is wrong with stepmom of the groom?
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    ditto kmmssg.

    Honeslty I would just skip the shirts altogther.  It's just something they would not wear again.    Plus I always wear button down shirts when I get ready for a WP so I don't have to pull something over my head/face.






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  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    I would skip the shirt. Yes, it makes for some "cute" pictures but the girls will (most likely) never wear them again. As someone who used to volunteer at my local salvation army thrift store we got a LOT of BM/MOB/MOH t-shirts and tanks donated. 
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  • s-aries8990s-aries8990 member
    Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper
    Can you just get "Team Bride" or "Team Groom"?
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  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_title-for-stepmother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4ffd8e04-f702-4e0c-aef6-45cbe7b56fa6Post:1c755e30-dfd1-4ecf-9d8f-a6f4c167c2b4">Re: Title for Stepmother</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can you just get "Team Bride" or <strong>"Team Groom"?</strong>
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    <div>This. </div>
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I agree - skip the shirts.  I too always wear a button down for wedding prep so I don't have to pull anything over my head, and I would never wear it again afterwards.  There are better ways to spend your money.
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Yeah, skip the shirts.  The situation's just too complicated, plus it's unlikely that they'll ever get worn again.
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  • krizzo17krizzo17 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    The only way I'd go with Mother of the Groom is if she raised him and his mother is not in his life for whatever reason. My husband calls his mother and stepfather "my parents" and whenever anyone asks about his father, he talks about his stepfather. He doesn't call him "dad", but his stepfather is the man he recognizes as his father.

    However, I'm with PPs in skipping the shirts.
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  • MissRutigMissRutig member
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_title-for-stepmother?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4ffd8e04-f702-4e0c-aef6-45cbe7b56fa6Post:1c755e30-dfd1-4ecf-9d8f-a6f4c167c2b4">Re: Title for Stepmother</a>:
    [QUOTE]Can you just get "Team Bride" or "Team Groom"?
    Posted by sydaries[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. If you do plan on getting shirts made, something like this would be fitting and could avoid drama. Most people will never wear them again, but sometimes its worth it to the bride for a photo op. Although I do agree with not wanting to wear a t-shirt while getting ready and would prefer a button down.
    I am making my button down for the wedding day. We took a class in highschool together and learned to screen print, so I have all the equipment. Otherwise I would have skipped it and just bought a cute shirt to match the wedding.
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  • sarabellamsarabellam member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Skip the shirt.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    tehse shirts are so cheesy.  save the money and buy a round of drinks for your girls or get plain, matching button ups - as others said, you dont want a pull over shirt on teh day you are getting your hair done.

    if you insist on embarrassing shirts, then go with "Team Bride" and "Team Groom" although i personally dont care for a blantant division of "sides".  sorta goes against the whole uniting thing.
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  • itzMSitzMS member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary

    Here's another vote for Team save-your-money-and-skip-the-cheesy-shirts.

    I can't think of anything I'd want to wear less than a cheap t-shirt bedazzled with "Stepmom". It's just silly.

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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Retread - my girls call their stepmom "mom" and I have never had an issue with that.  What they and I have had issue with is her overstepping her bounds repeatedly.  She is grandma to their children (which is great, she adores them) but she is quite disrespectful with how close my girls and I are while she isnt.  If she quit trying to tell them she was their mom and quit telling them they are wrong about everything she disagrees with it might be a bit more cordial.  I have swallowed an immense amount of crow to keep the piece for my girls.

    My stepdd's biomom would have had a huge fit if they had called me mom.  I never even broached that with them.  It was their decision what to call me.  One of them specifically came to me to help her plan her wedding.  When her mom came into town for the wedding I stepped back in the shadows because her mother would have been ruthless and ruined the day if I had been in any kind of a MOB role.  Her mom was furious that I was seated in the processional (as the stepmob) before she was.  It was me, MOG, MOB.  Her mom didn't realize MOB is last and signals things are to start.

    I have bent over backwards to welcome my DD's stepmom into the fold for their sakes.  She doesn't show the same courtesy in respecting the fact I am their mom.
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  • cmay1890cmay1890 member
    First Comment
    Thanks for all the suggestions! I actually wasn't planing on using them for the actual wedding day. I wanted to use them for when all of us girls got together for lunch or other wedding planning things. I like the Team Groom idea! Thanks everyone! :
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