Guest who show up with an univited person???

spechtholdn · August 2010

If you invite a guest and make it clear that they are the only one invited, meaning they don't have a SO, no kids, you didn't address the invite +1, they RSVP'd for 1. What do you do if they actually show up to the wedding with someone? What happens if there is no room for the person, like if you have a seating chart and tables are full?

This is purely hypothetical, but the thought crossed my mind the other day, and now I'm really curious as to how this situation would be handled. Share your stories and solutions please.

WildRumpus · August 2010

Then they look like an ass, not you. Unless, of course you throw a fit about hypothetical extra person being there.

Stackeye210 · August 2010

Well I would hope the awkwardness of having no chair and no meal would speak for me and make the invited guest feel like a complete asshat. However, then I'd probably suck it up. "haul ass to the kitchen, rearrange a few things because at the end of the day the more the merrier" Oh wait......that was a movie, but I probably would see if I could work them in (while the guest sweated it out for a bit)

LD1970 · August 2010

Get an extra chair and make people squish. It's easier than turning them away, much as you'd love to boot them.

ohwhynot · August 2010

My own brother did this at my nephew's wedding. He showed up with 2 teen-age kids. I have no idea what he rsvp'd for, but he assured us as he sat down that "oh, they always make a few extra plates just in case" and said that he'd eat whatever was available.

It was an incredibly jerk-y move, but someone asked the waitstaff to please bring out extra place settings, 2 kids' meals and one of the adult entrees.

Beachy730 · August 2010

Agreed with PP who said that the guest bringing this plus one at the last minute is the one who would look like the idiot. But to be safe, you could have a few extra seats available at a table. Our table for the vendors had 3 extra seats at it just in case someone unannounced showed up. I wasn't anticipating anyone extra, and we didn't have anyone, but the peace of mind was worth the 3 extra chair covers we paid for. And honestly, we weren't going to have a table with only half the chairs covered anyways. Just have extra seats available at a table, or an empty table available, and that its a quick fix, and your parents or the wedding coordinator can tell them where to sit.

andyandhillary · August 2010

Do you have a coordinator at your reception site? If so, they should be able to handle it and you shouldn't have to worry at all. We had some guests bring their adult daughter eventhough they RSVPed that it was just them two. I didn't even think about it until after the wedding and our reception site handled it just fine, apparently.

ekimberl · August 2010

We are having an extra table for those types of situations. We'll have assigned tables for everyone who has been invited, and one extra for any additional guests.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · August 2010

DED Stacks.

PharmacyBride · August 2010

Ask your venue.. mine already told me what they do in these situations. They actually have blank escort cards ready to go and they usually put the couple at a table they know has extra room. (The venue figures it out when the couple looks for their card and can't find it) They find a table to put them at and everything.

I laughed and told my venue that I am doing the picture escort card thing (PIB) .. but they said if I left them the pen (and had a spot or two still open) they would add it in.

Since your venue would be the ones to solve the situation... talk to them. Maybe you can give them a few blank escort cards.

amberlynned · August 2010

OMG. I had three non-invites show up at the wedding and it was like dominoes... one table then overflowed to the next then that affected the next... in the end, our preacher & his wife ended up at DH's rowdy, all male, all drinking, work buddies.... *cringe*

In retrospect, I would have left 1-2 spaces extra at each table so even if someone is horribly tacky and brings a guest, our seating chart would have been in tact.

spechtholdn · August 2010

Well that's all very helpful. Again this was just a hypothetical situation that I was curious about. It also left me wondering what would happen in a completely full wedding. Example, you have room only enough for a wedding party table and 50 guests. Guest are seated at five tables with ten per table. Everyone shows up, one guest shows up with an univited person. Tables are at max capacity and there is no where to seat an extra preson, due to room size.

Ha... just thinking of the akwardness of this makes me cringe.

cat1121 · August 2010

This is where having square tables is helpful.

For example, I only invited one of my clients by himself. I did not invite his drunk, on again, off again ex wife.

But, it wouldn't surprise me if he showed up with her (if they are on at that time).

I'm going to seat him at the end of a table and if they show together then I'm going to have my venue coordinator set out an extra place.

mkrupar · August 2010

Venues have to deal with this all of the time. Yeah, it's inconvenient, but they've already set 200 place settings, they'll usually have one or two extra in the back. When the guest realizes there's no name card for them they usually get a little embarrased and have to wait in the corner of the room.

I was working a wedding in May that this happened at, and it was actually the officiant and his wife (they hadn't RSVP'd at all). I had to make them wait until everyone sat, and the FOB looked at the remaining escort cards and told me who he knew wasn't there. We found them seats at a table where two people had not shown up. In the end all was fine.

Good hypothetical question to make people think.

mysticl · August 2010

I'm getting married on a military base so if a guest who does not have a military ID shows up without having RSVP they won't be on the list and base security will turn them away.

lyndausvi · August 2010

Okay, this is complicated. We had a couple RSVP their adult daughter. The husband drinks, but the wife does not, but she does not drive either. The daughter was coming as the DD. Since they were flying up from the islands, didn't really know the area (daughter happen to live in the area), we said no problem.

At the wedding I noticed a very tall good looking man and asked "who is he?" Apparently the daughter brought a date.   Umm... okay?

Honestly it was not a big deal. We had no shows anyway.

Would I be annoyed they showed up with a date when told they can't?? Yes.   Would I make a big deal about it at the wedding? No.

slubkin · August 2010

We are just having an hors d'oeuvres reception, not a sit-down meal, so I won't have seating assignments and people will be free to get up and move around to chat with others, or sit down if they prefer. Hence, I am not worried about how the venue will handle it (we have an on-site coordinator who I am sure would work something out anyway). But I would definitely be irritated at our guest who invited someone we don't know without asking or letting us know.

Guest who show up with an univited person???

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