Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)

Mrs. Zoe · April 2010

Hey everyone, I have a question about registry etiquette, and I hoping you guys could help me! First of all, my fiancee and I have a honeymoon registry. We also did two others, at Target and Crate & Barrel. I then realized that Bed Bath and Beyond had really great stuff, so I am registering there too. I was intending to eliminate one of the others so we only had 2 plus the honeymoon registry, but the problem is that no one place has all the stuff we need (i.e. electronics AND nice dishes, etc.). My MOH told me that since it is my wedding I can do whatever I want and have as many registries as I want. So then I started thinking that perhaps I could just delets all the stuff that is overlapping, and leave only a few things on each one. It would be a pain for me to work out, but then at least we would have only things we really need and want on our registries. I don't want everyone to think we are greedy or something by having four registries, but we really do need a lot of stuff. What do you guys think we should do?

ZRex · April 2010

I don't know why, but I tend to draw the line at three. I could be totally wrong but there is something that seems a bit excessive about more than that.

[Deleted User] · April 2010

I agree. We have two. More than that sounds like you want it ALL.

btrflykate1230 · April 2010

I would see if you could keep it to three. We found pretty much everything at Macy's, BB&B, and Crate and Barrel.

ootmother2 · April 2010

I think three is pretty normal. M had one more at Shabby Chic in SoHo before they went out of business last year.

The registeries were empty by the wedding.

sucrets4 · April 2010

Honeymoon registry = tacky, imo.

3 is the most I'd do, but we only had 2. You're not going to get everything anyway, so figure out what is the most important to you and register there.

cac847 · April 2010

I suggest getting rid of the honeymoon registry. Your guests shouldn't have to pay a fee to get you a gift. And what do you mean by "stuff that is overlapping?" The same items on multiple registries? That doesn't make sense to me.

sucrets4 · April 2010

Did no one else see the honeymoon part? That means she's really registered at FOUR places.

ootmother2 · April 2010

I noticed it sucrets but she didn't ask for an opinion on that so I didn't give one.

:P

Brie2010 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-there-such-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c50a21fd-0686-4b93-82f9-e050770382ecPost:49240a00-3be7-4f72-a5d1-f47259c54b29">Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong> My MOH told me that since it is my wedding I can do whatever I want</strong> and have as many registries as I want.
Posted by Mrs. Zoe[/QUOTE]

See, this whole mentality that people have is the problem. I'm not saying this as anything bad about you, but it's totally incomprehensible to me to just tell someone "You can do whatever you want! To hell with other people" simply because you're getting married. No. You should still be respectful, polite, considerate, and not gift grabby, even if you're a bride.

But yeah, four is too many. Ditch the HM registry. They're tacky anyway.

btrflykate1230 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-there-such-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c50a21fd-0686-4b93-82f9-e050770382ecPost:593e57c4-1ae3-4e01-a9b6-667c5aef5d7d">Re: Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)</a>:
[QUOTE]Did no one else see the honeymoon part? That means she's really registered at FOUR places.
Posted by sucrets4[/QUOTE]

Four is an awful lot. I think three is pushing it.

Disclaimer: I have three. I know I'm pushing it, but Macy's is the only place that has the china I love.

LP11509 · April 2010

Honestly, I would get rid of the honeymoon registry. Many people seem to find them tacky, including me. Most likely, some people will give checks as a wedding gift so you can put that towards your honeymoon instead.

karbar42 · April 2010

Out of curiosity, how many people are you having at the wedding? Maybe it doesn't matter but I think if you had a wedding of 75 people and 4 registries, that might seem like a lot, but if you have 180 people maybe 3 (or 4) wouldn't be as bad?

sucrets4 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-there-such-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c50a21fd-0686-4b93-82f9-e050770382ecPost:b30f0383-5aa2-446b-a6a5-0c7e5415c1cd">Re: Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)</a>:
[QUOTE]Out of curiosity, how many people are you having at the wedding? Maybe it doesn't matter but I think if you had a wedding of 75 people and 4 registries, that might seem like a lot, but if you have 180 people maybe 3 (or 4) wouldn't be as bad?
Posted by karbar42[/QUOTE]

But how would a guest know this in advance? If I got a shower invite with 4 registries listed, I'd definitely roll my eyes.

nda_roxybabe · April 2010

Definitely get rid of the honeymoon registry.

P.S. yes, there definitely is such thing as registry etiquette.

baystateapple · April 2010

Everyone pretty much says draw the line at three. I did two. Any more than three and people are going to give the side-eye.

karbar42 · April 2010

I guess I didn't mean how it would look to a guest, just that it might make more sense in proportion and to allow you to provide enough stuff for people to pick from in a price range they can afford? Always hate when you go to get a shower gift and there are like 3 things left on the registry... But I would probably leave out the honeymoon registry, so that'd bring it down to 3.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

If you need a lot of physical things, then drop the honeymoon registry. You need dishes. You don't need a vacation.

Mofongo · April 2010

Yes, too many registries. I only had one. I also have a genuine question, what do people need that BB&B doesn't have?

whitneykaye87 · April 2010

Drop the HM registry. Your guests that want to give you money will, and those who want to give a physical gift can do that at your other registries. No need for a cash middle man.

And definitely get rid of duplicate items on your registries. There is no need to register for more than one of anything just because you picked more than one store. You're truly making more work for yourself in the end if you do because you'll be responsible for returning all of the extra crap.

maggyruth · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-there-such-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c50a21fd-0686-4b93-82f9-e050770382ecPost:1e2d3775-372a-46e2-9f83-162283f01418">Re: Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, too many registries. I only had one. I also have a genuine question,<strong> what do people need that BB&B doesn't have?</strong>
Posted by Mofongo[/QUOTE]

Honestly, they didn't have dishes I liked. I was going to have one at BB&B, but once I started looking through the place, nothing was appealing.

To the OP: more than 3 is a bit much, IMO. And honeymoon registries? Meh.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-there-such-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c50a21fd-0686-4b93-82f9-e050770382ecPost:1e2d3775-372a-46e2-9f83-162283f01418">Re: Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, too many registries. I only had one. I also have a genuine question, what do people need that BB&B doesn't have?
Posted by Mofongo[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Hmm, I don't know, things of quality? ;-)</div><div>
</div><div>Just kidding, but seriously, I've had a lot of stuff break or wear out very quickly from BB&B. We have a registry there, but we have another one that I like better. We're only doing BB&B because all of our guests live near one.

</div>

ThePinkSuperhero · April 2010

I think three is the limit.

sucrets4 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-there-such-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c50a21fd-0686-4b93-82f9-e050770382ecPost:84ccec0a-8343-4440-b0d3-633cf51d3336">Re: Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think three is the limit.
Posted by ThePinkSuperhero[/QUOTE]

Some people even say it's a magic number.

Yes, it is!

carrieoz_76 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-there-such-thing?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c50a21fd-0686-4b93-82f9-e050770382ecPost:1e2d3775-372a-46e2-9f83-162283f01418">Re: Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)</a>:
[QUOTE]I also have a genuine question, what do people need that BB&B doesn't have?
Posted by Mofongo[/QUOTE]
They didn't have the towels, dishes and flatware that I liked.

We have 2 registries - Macy's has the bulk of it, and there are a few items at BB&B. I prefer to only have 2 to manage (things do get discontinued, so you have to update them), and the return policies work for us at both places, especially since they both have items that we would like if what we get is a dupe or doesn't do the trick.

Also, 'm not sure how much electronics I'd put in a registry. It's just not traditionally a wedding present, and not something I'd buy for someone for a wedding.

Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)

Re: Registry Etiquette (is there such a thing?)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards