This whole "getting married" thing is not going how I thought it would.
My fiance proposed to me (finally. after 4 years.) while we were out of state visiting my parents and brother and sister in law. I suggested that we go look at dresses just for fun one day, since we were all there, and I won't see them again until May. My sister in law was up for it, but my mother completely pooh poohed it, since I didn't know where I was getting married yet. My thought had been that I know that I will get married someplace warm (either here during summer, or a destination wedding) and I want something that I can salsa dance in (no long trains or ballgowns for me)! Anyway, she completely shot it down....so we didn't go. I went with my 11 year old daughter a week ago and we found *the* dress at the second store we went to, so mom totally missed it. But she doesn't seem interested anyway, so I guess I shouldn't be worried about her missing it.
Oh and right after finding out that I was engaged, my cousin (who would be maid of honor, if I hadn't asked my daughter to be) told me that it would be financially really difficult for her to make it, since her husband has been "out of work" for a year. By "out of work" she means "sitting at home without a job mooching off of his in laws, while waiting for his dream job to come along, rather than manning up and doing what needed to be done to take care of the family."
Not deterred by my mother's lack of enthusiasm or feeling guilty about not accomodating my cousin's needs more, my fiance and I started looking options. Venues here....destination weddings that would be easier for his family to get to...etc. Fast forward to today, my fiance calls me from Austria, where he's visiting his family and they've had a new idea. How about if he and I get married at a seattle restaurant by a JOP with only his parents and my parents present. Then we go on our honeymoon and have a reception "somewhere inexpensive" in Seattle when we come back.
Apparently, his parents, who don't speak much English feel awkward about going to a ceremony/reception with all of our friends and family. I had thought this might be an issue, which is part of why I suggested a cruise wedding. I reminded my fiance of this, and he responded that his parents wanted to come to Seattle where we live, because they've never been there. He has lived in Seattle for TEN YEARS. In the last 2 years, they've traveled to Italy, India, Dubai, Kenya and New York. Why are they choosing to make such a fuss about wanting to be in Seattle NOW? And I actually prefer to have it in Seattle, because I want my extended family and friends to be there, but the JOP with only 4 people present sounds just as anticlimactic as going down to the courthous in our teeshirts and comfy pants. May as well put THE dress on Ebay.
I'm trying not to be a bridezilla, but part of me just wants to stomp my foot and say "it's my day, damn it! Do it my way and like it!"
Anyway. I'm frustrated. It feels like I'm the only one excited, except for maybe my 11 year old. Thank goodness for her.