Where Do I Start Planning?!?

MeganAngela · September 2010

Hey everyone! I'm new to the NC board, so hello! As you can see, I'm getting married in a year and a half. Now I know that by most standards that is far too early to worry about planning the wedding, but since my FI and I are needing to create a budget in advance for several things (wedding, honeymoon, summer/bills, etc.) we've already started looking into pricing things. We've set a tentative budget of about $5000, plus whatever our families choose to pitch in.

With that being said, I don't even know where to start! I've looked into venues in the Raleigh area and I've found one that looks promising and would be great for our budget! We'd like to put less money into the ceremony and more into our reception, but I have no idea where to begin! So, where did all of you lovelies start? What were the first things you priced/bought/reserved?

Do any of you know of any good reception venues in the RDU area that aren't horrendously expensive AND are nice looking/have a nice atmosphere? What about caterers and DJs? We'd like to just have some finger foods instead of a full meal (i.e. we are doing the wedding and reception after dinner time so that guest can go eat prior to the start of the events), a cake and a champagne toast. And with a DJ we'd like someone who plays a little of everything from all kinds of genres and all different decades. Don't know how feasible it all is, but we're hoping to figure it out!

ANY suggestions are welcome! I get overwhelmed so quickly when I think about planning this sort of thing. If I had the money, I would hire a wedding planner and be done with it. Haha! Anyway, please let me know your thoughts and suggestions! I'd really, really appreciate it!

Thanks! And, again, hi to everyone on the boards! Nice to meet you all!

SassyPants150 · September 2010

Hi and Congrats!

You found a great place to start here. Everyone here is so helpful and knowledgable!

The first orders of business for me were securing the location, estimating the cost of food and hashing out the guest list. We also wanted to put as much into our reception as possible and had to crunch the numbers to find our ideal price per person.

We used Jill from All the Right Grooves for our DJ, they are a board favorite and they definitely lived up to their raves! We were super pleased and they do travel to the RDU area as well and are very affordable.

Good luck planning and welcome!

pirategal03 · September 2010

HI and welcome!

I agree, it is intimidating, and I don't think you're starting to think about things too early. Especially when on a budget, starting early helps. I'm a fan of making lists. I think that the budgeter over on weddingwire.com is much better than the one here on The Knot (but the boards here are great)

First I'd try to get a rough idea of your guest list. You want to be sure you're picking a venue that can accommodate everyone you want to invite. It's a great idea to do your reception later in the evening so your guests won't expect a full meal, good thinking.

Once you've got an idea of how many people to invite, it'll be easier to find a location you know can accommodate them, and choose a caterer that can work within your budget.

And ask lots of questions here!

MeganAngela · September 2010

Thanks! We sat down a night or two ago and made up a guest list. One is a close friends and family only list which comes out to between 60 and 65. The other is an all inclusive list which has closer to 100-125. The venue we like so far fits 50 or so people. We've considered doing a family and close friends only wedding and then inviting lots of people to the reception to keep costs down, but we are afraid that people will be offended. Perhaps that is a good question for the etiquette board! We have found another venue that would hold everyone we want to invite, but we don't know the price of that yet, nor do we know if we want to accommodate that many people in the first place. Our tentative wedding date is on a Friday, I believe, so that would cut down on the amount of people who would show up in the first place.

I'm a big list girl, too! I'm actually sitting here with a notebook right now while I go through different categories of things. I've got lists started with vendors that I like so far, songs for the ceremony, etiquette and essentials, etc.! The Knot has definitely helped me with a lot so far. I just keep thinking that I'm forgetting about certain things. Some things I don't even think about until someone mentions it!

SassyPants, would you be willing to PM a little about your experience with All the Right Grooves? I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice!

Thanks for the advice so far! Keep it coming! A girl can never get enough advice about her wedding!

TinyTRex321 · September 2010

Welcome to the boards!

I'm 8 months out from my wedding so I'm not a expert by any means. We started with a rough guest list so we knew what venues would work or wouldn't work well. I then did a lot of internet research on venues and then went to see about 4 places. If you do an off season month you save money defientnly. The places we looked at went up in price starting in April-June and then again August-October. Other places also will charge a lot less to do a Friday or Sunday wedding.

Have you thought of doing a dessert reception? I have heard of that being done and like the idea of it. Who doesn't like a bunch of desserts and then maybe some finger foods for a cocktail hour? The best way to cut cost is to keep the guest list low. At least that's the case in our situation but we are doing a dinner reception.

Good luck in your planning!

SassyPants150 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_start-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:eaeb75ea-66ec-4d32-be4f-c624961ae176Post:fa1905ab-748b-40ae-97d2-f6bc5f806e11">Re: Where Do I Start Planning?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]SassyPants, would you be willing to PM a little about your experience with All the Right Grooves? I'd love to hear your thoughts and advice! Thanks for the advice so far! Keep it coming! A girl can never get enough advice about her wedding!
Posted by MeganAngela[/QUOTE]

When I select to send you a PM it says User Not Found....weird!

MeganAngela · September 2010

Hm, that is strange! When I select to PM you, it sends me to my profile. That is odd. I'll look into it and get back to you!

pirategal03 · September 2010

Inviting only some guests to the reception would be offensive. The Etiquette board will tell you that too.

Plan for 100% attendance, and plan something where you can afford 100% attendance and fit everyone in the space and where everyone can sit down at one time.

It's absolutely do-able with 125 guests. You can figure this out!

CJ4578 · September 2010

Congratulations and welcome! I know it's definitely intimidating, but like Mary said, you can do it!

You've already done what I would suggest with the guest-list (figure out the MUST BE THEREs and then have a separate list that includes everyone that you would also LIKE to be there.

)

I am using Joe Bunn DJ company for my upcoming wedding and really like working with them so far. I have heard other girls review them and they always get positive reviews. They're also pretty reasonable, although All the Right Grooves is the most reasonable I found (but they were booked for my date.)

(Random insert- Malea I love the new siggy pic!)

If you don't find a venue that has a caterer in-house, try Durham Catering Co. They are SUPER reasonable, and they will work with any budget. And their food is yummy too.

We went with a different caterer, but they were high on my list.

Also, florals- Tre Bella in Durham does amazing work, and they will also work with any budget. I gave them my budget, and they got me everything I wanted and more with 25% to spare!

I love your idea of a dessert/finger-food reception. You definitely sound well-prepared, and you know what you want! Which is totally the hardest part.

MeganAngela · September 2010

I think our biggest issue with having that many people is that we really don't want to pay a huge amount for catering. The caterers we've looked into for that many people cost around $3000, and that, to us, is just ridiculous. That is over half of our budget just for food! My mother is the one suggesting a family only ceremony and then a larger reception. I don't necessarily see the problem with that, especially considering that the wedding is on a Friday. Family might be willing to take the time off on a Friday for our wedding, but friends may not and might only want to make it to the later reception. But, if that is poor etiquette then we'll have to really sit down and decide what we want or are willing to pay for.

We know it is doable, but our budget is so small. That is why I asked for advice!

I found a wedding venue for around $200 and looked into the suggested DJ, which will run about $800. So that leaves $4000 to get everything else. Our biggest concern now will be the dress/tux, wedding bands, cake/caterer and reception venue. We've considered nixing the wedding party and flowers (minus the bouquet), and make as much of the event as DIY as possible. If we can find a reception venue that provides tables and chairs and has a dance floor/space, then I think I'll be less worried. I'm lucky to have two photographers in my family, so I won't have to pay for that. That is definitely a relief. Are there any other big expenses I'm missing? Like I said, these are definitely the times I wish I had a wedding planner! Haha!

Thanks again!

MeganAngela · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_start-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:eaeb75ea-66ec-4d32-be4f-c624961ae176Post:04747507-7058-44be-bfe4-5e929df9b673">Re: Where Do I Start Planning?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you don't find a venue that has a caterer in-house, try Durham Catering Co. They are SUPER reasonable, and they will work with any budget. And their food is yummy too. :) We went with a different caterer, but they were high on my list.
Posted by CJ4578[/QUOTE]
I just looked at their website and their ideal low end menu sounded delightful! Almost enough to make me want to actually try a sit-down dinner! I'll have to contact them and see how much that would run. I'll give them both guest estimates and see what kind of numbers they come up with. Food is not where we want to put most of our money. We really just want to throw a party, so the DJ, reception venue and then whatever we do to create a fun atmosphere is where we want the bulk of our money to go. We're more excited to dance than eat! Haha!<div>
</div><div>Thank you SO much for your recommendations! I wrote them down in my notebook so I can refer back to them later!</div>

TinyTRex321 · September 2010

I am using Tre Bella florist too and second the recommendation for them! I am probably biast though Becky (one of the sister's that owns Tre Bella) went to college with my FH. I have only met her a few times but she is so sweet and helpful! I gave her an idea of what we wanted and she has come up with some great ideas. I can't wait to see the finished product.

marriedfilingjointly · September 2010

Congrats! I agree that it's not too early. It sounds like you have realistic expectations, so that's good.

Having a Friday wedding should help you cut some costs. Don't be afraid to ask for discounts. Vendors should be flexible as they count on Saturday events, so any business they can get on a Friday is just icing on the cake. Minimums are more likely to be waived, etc.

Don't rule anything out just because it sounds like it might be expensive. We had our reception at a country club and there was no rental fees for the space, tables, chairs, linens, plates, silver, etc. All we paid for was food.

Good luck. These boards are really helpful.

MeganAngela · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_start-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:eaeb75ea-66ec-4d32-be4f-c624961ae176Post:6610997b-7785-4bd8-bd80-3279af75d539">Re: Where Do I Start Planning?!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Congrats! I agree that it's not too early. It sounds like you have realistic expectations, so that's good. Having a Friday wedding should help you cut some costs. Don't be afraid to ask for discounts. Vendors should be flexible as they count on Saturday events, so any business they can get on a Friday is just icing on the cake. Minimums are more likely to be waived, etc. Don't rule anything out just because it sounds like it might be expensive. We had our reception at a country club and there was no rental fees for the space, tables, chairs, linens, plates, silver, etc. All we paid for was food. Good luck. These boards are really helpful.
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yes, some of the things that I thought were going to be too expensive ended up not being so bad at all. Hopefully someone will have some reception venue suggestions because the ones I've looked at so far that have been linked through The Knot either weren't what we were looking for or weren't in budget. We've considered The Cotton Company in Wake Forest, but I don't know how good or bad they are or how much they cost. I need to do some more research. I'd rather find some place in Raleigh proper though. We'll see how it goes!</div><div>
</div><div>Thanks for all the advice!

</div>

ktyd8 · September 2010

I looked into The Cotton Company and I will say they were too expensive for me and I had a $6000 budget. Also, for flowers I used Sam's Club and DIY'd all my flowers. I got 240 gerbera daisies for about $200. So worth it. They were delieverd and beautiful!

TinyTRex321 · September 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_start-planning?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:eaeb75ea-66ec-4d32-be4f-c624961ae176Post:6610997b-7785-4bd8-bd80-3279af75d539">Re: Where Do I Start Planning?!?</a>:
[QUOTE] We had our reception at a country club and there was no rental fees for the space, tables, chairs, linens, plates, silver, etc. All we paid for was food. Good luck. These boards are really helpful.
Posted by marriedfilingjointly[/QUOTE]

Where did you get married if you don't mind me asking? I'm getting married at Treyburn Country Club and I'm in the same situation where we just have to pay for the food/ drinks.

FutureMrsFraser · September 2010

Hi and Welcome to the board!

I didn't read all the responses, so forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but I definitely think your budget is do-able. My FI and I had a budget around the same, and we are having 100 people, and serving dinner and we are coming in under budget. I just had to shop around ALOT to find good deals.

As far as your venue, I would reccommend renting something that is owned by the city, it's so much cheaper. We are getting married at Kure Beach, and our reception is in Wilmington and we are renting an events center that's in one of the city parks for our reception, it was only $475 to rent... not too bad at all. And another good thing about those venues is that they don't have a "preferred vendor list" like most places, so you can really shop around and choose who you'd like.

I've done DIY everything for the most part too, which also saved me alot of money.

FutureMrsFraser · September 2010

Oh, and of note, inviting guests to your reception only is rude. It really doesn't cost you more to have them at the ceremony, and they are there to join in seeing you get married, that's the whole point of the event, so it would be rude to ask them to only come to the reception. It's like saying, hey we like you enough to invite you to celebrate our marriage with us, but we don't like you enough to invite you to actually witness our marriage... it's just rude.

Inviting them to the ceremony as well is not going to affect your budget, IMO.

brandyleighxx · September 2010

First thing was picking a date, our wedding party, and a color scheme. Next we started making phone calls and booking vendors: venue was first, photographer, I bought my wedding dress 11 months before, other major vendors (catering, dj, etc.) Things will just start to fall in place once you get the ball rolling.

MeganAngela · September 2010

Thanks again for all of the advice! Sorry that I left the thread for a few days. This whole wedding thing has got me and my FI stressed. We have a lot of other things going on at the moment outside of wedding planning, so not thinking about our wedding planning for awhile has been good for both of us.

We've found a wedding and reception venue that could work for us and be within our budget. We're still looking for other suggestions because as it stands now we'll only be able to invite 50-60 guests at those locations when we'd really like all of our friends and family to be able to join us on our big day. We've also picked our honeymoon location (Disney World, here we come!), so we're going to forego a typical wedding registry and use Disney's honeymoon registry instead. Hopefully the people in our lives will be okay with that. Outside of that, I'm thinking of going dress shopping early. Not anytime soon, but probably around the end of this year/beginning of next year because my BFF is getting ready to move to LA early next year and they want to be a part of me finding, or at least looking for, a dress.

In the end, if things get too hectic we'll use our fallback plan. We'll elope/go to the courthouse and then have a church ceremony at a later date. Not exactly the route we want to go, but if necessity dictates that is what we do, then we'll take it as it comes! But for now, we think we can handle something small.

Does anyone know what to do if you choose a wedding venue that has no sound equipment and you don't want to hire a string quartet/band to play for you? We have ceremony music picked out, but we don't know how to go about having it played with no sound equipment. What are our options? Thanks, lovelies!

pirategal03 · September 2010

A DJ should be able to furnish sound equipment for you.

You really do have time, if you let wedding planning stress you out to the point that it's affecting your relationship with your FI, then it'll be a long 18 months.

MeganAngela · September 2010

Oh, gosh! No, it isn't affecting our relationship! No, no, no! That isn't what I meant at all. We're just stressing out because we have a few other things we're worrying about (new kitten, his birthday, work, family stuff, a trip we're taking, holidays coming up). Just, you know, life stresses. We're doing fine. We are just having to manage what things are more important now and what we can put off worrying about until later. Like you said, the wedding is far enough off that we could put that on the back burner while we clear a few other things off of our plate. If our relationship wasn't doing well and wedding planning was affecting the relationship negatively, we'd just push the wedding back and reassess what we want/need. But, no. It isn't like that at all. We're doing wonderfully. We just needed some time not worrying about wedding things. I hope that makes more sense! Stress isn't always a bad thing. We're just overwhelmed at the moment with stuff we have to get done or think about. You know, life!

So, would a DJ have to set up at the church and then break it down and go to the reception venue? Or would they have separate stuff we could use for the church? I don't exactly know how that all works.

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