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tacky way to ask BM??

bee&beebee&bee member
Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
So I finally decided on who my girls will be and started asking them about 3 weeks ago.  I really wanted to ask each one in person, one on one, that way it would be special and memoriable.  (there's only 3) Well the last girl has been super hard to get in touch with and who knows when we'll actually get a chance to meet up.

Backstory on 3rd girl, we've been friends for over 15 years and in the last year and a half we've not been close at all and hardly see one another.  It was always thought that she would be my MOH but since things have changed so much I selected one of the other girls but still want 3rd girl in the wedding (I would regret not asking her even though we're not as close currently).

My question is if you think it's tacky to ask her over the phone or send a picture of the dress I like as opposed to waiting til who knows when to finally meet up with her??  I'm dying to just ask her when we talk but have been holding out so that all three girls would be the same.  Plus I have a little note card that I was going to give her which asks "the question" just like the other two girls.
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Re: tacky way to ask BM??

  • theleostheleos
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    I think it would be fine. I think she'd understand and be excited regardless.

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  • RFPaullRFPaull member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I ended up asking my one sister over the phone after having asked my older sister at dinner one night.  I also had to ask my maid of honor over the phone because she lives in a different state.
    I think at the end of the day, it doesn't really matter how you ask!  :-)
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  • MMRoberts11MMRoberts11 member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    All my BMs live out of state so I called them all and they were thrilled.
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  • larzhopelarzhope member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i live 2500 miles away from all but 1 of my BMs... had to ask those 3 over the phone - I think it's totally fine!
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  • bee&beebee&bee member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Okay, just wanted to make sure.  I feel a lot better about it.  Thank you ladies!
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  • Allycat11Allycat11
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm confused on who you want it to be memorable for to be entirely honest.

    However, I would say it is totally fine to ask her over the phone  I asked my little sister to be my MOH in person the night we got engaged.  I saw my bff the next night but it was at a bar with friends I was not asking to be in the bridal party, she lives across the state  and we wouldn't see eachother for a couple months after that so I asked her over the phone.  I was intending to ask FI's sister to be a BM at a family Chirstmas party but we were talking on the phone a few days before and it just kind of came up.  None of us missed out by not having a super perfect memorable moment.
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  • Meegles4Meegles4 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I have 7 BMs. 4 I asked over the phone, including my MOH. 2 are FI's family, and he asked them in person (I would have liked to be there, but he sort of jumped the gun!). 1 I e-mailed.

    So, yes, asking over the phone is fine. Most of mine live out of state so it was necessary, but my MOH is local and I still asked her over the phone. It's really fine.
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  • bee&beebee&bee member
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Allycat - I just didn't want the 3rd girl to feel she was treated differently, she can sometimes be weird about stuff.  It was def not from lack of trying that we've not met up yet. 

    It was kind of a special moment with the other girls, and a change to hang out just the two of us. I just don't want to wait any longer since I've already waited 10 months to ask anyone.

    Thanks for the feedback ladies :o) It's much appreciated.
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