One groomsman in military dress?

ashbosity · August 2010

My FI has decided that he wants three groomsmen while there will be only two bridesmaids. I really have no problem with this, but one of his groomsmen is in the Air Force and generally wears his dress uniform for formal events. I'm just worried that since the numbers will already be off, if he wears something completely different than the other two guys, it will look like we just stuck him in there. Is it rude to ask him to wear the same as the other guys or should I just let him wear his uniform? Also, if he wears his uniform, does he still wear a boutonniere? Just thinking I'm not sure where it would go with all his badges and stuff on his jacket. Any fashion advice or anyone with military experience would be appreciated. Thanks!

kimp67 · August 2010

I think I would ask him to wear what the others are wearing. I don't have any close friends in the military so that's just my opinion though.

CrysMarie12 · August 2010

I would also ask him to wear what the other men are wearing. He'll stick out if he wears his uniform.

t.kaufman · August 2010

It wold be rude of you to ask him not to wear his military dress. If he asks you what you prefer, then you can tell him. But if he wants to wear the uniform, let him. It will look just fine. No one is going to be like, "Omg, there's an extra GM, and he isn't wearing what everyone else is!"

As for the bout though.. I really don't know. perhaps you can search for pictures?

aerinpegadrak · August 2010

Military dress uniforms are reserved for the most special of occasions. You should be honored that he considers your wedding important enough for his dress blues. No, it's not going to stick out, lots of military attendants wear their dress uniforms and look just fine. I'm not sure about the bout, though, but I think that would be a no. Boutonnieres go on the lapel, which military dress uniforms don't tend to have.

mbcdefg · August 2010

It's fine if he's the only one in military dress.

Military uniforms do not get boutonnieres.

[Deleted User] · August 2010

I agree with aerin. Let him wear the dress blues. They are reserved for special occassions and I have seen them worn before at weddings. It will look just fine.

qzbzmn · August 2010

I also agree - my cousin had the same situation...one more groomsman than bridesmaids, and one of the guys is an officer in the Navy. He didn't look out of place, in fact it was really cool. It was all the poor (single - btw) guy could do to keep the ladies away. Don't think he tried too hard though

starlite21l · August 2010

I work with the military and have seen the men and woman in dress uniform frequently. Dress uniform is reserved for special events. I personally would be honored if one of my friends was going to wear their dress uniform for my wedding. Even though it wouldn't necessarily match my colors or might not go with the feel I was looking for. I love the fact that he is proud to serve our country and would wear his uniform to your wedding.

acmj11 · August 2010

I think you should let him decide. He should wear what he is more comfortable in.

marisah83 · August 2010

Let him wear the dress blues if he wants. He really won't look that out of place. He does not need a boutonierre.

Beachy730 · August 2010

I would let him wear the uniform. If he is walking down the aisle or standing up at the altar, it will not look like he was just "stuck there." Don't worry about having perfect pictures with everyone looking the same. As PPs said, you should feel honored that he would want to wear it to your wedding. H chose not to wear his uniform, but we asked our military guests to wear it, and we loved how it looked.

Has he told you he wants to wear it? Your post just says he usually wears it. So are you just assuming? I would have FI talk to him and ask if he plans on wearing his uniform, or a tux like the rest of the GM. If he asks your preference, then you can say what you want.

As for the bout, military uniforms are not allowed to have anything pinned to them that is not part of the uniform.

mysticl · August 2010

My FI is in the Navy. He says that many sevice men wear their dress uniform to formal events because it is the nicest thing they own. They really don't have a huge need to own suits. So don't assume that he plans to wear it as a groomsman. Your FI should have the same talk with him about attire that he is having with the other GM. But if it works out better for him to wear it than a tux there is nothing wrong with that. A man in uniform when others are in tuxes is not the same thing as a GM just wearing a different outfit.

And ditto dnbeach12, he is not permitted to wear flowers on his uniform. That is one thing, if he wears his uniform he must follow regulations and you cannot make any requests regarding how he wears it. Such as his cover (hat). If it is a time when he has to have it on don't ask him to remove it. If it is a time when he has to remove it don't ask him to put it on.

ashbosity · August 2010

Thanks so much for the quick responses. FI is supposed to call him tomorrow to discuss attire. I didn't want to ask him to wear the same as the groomsmen if it was considered rude. I'm totally cool with letting him decide.

CA2MT4EveR · August 2010

Asking him to wear something else for aesthetics is rude.

He does not wear a bout, though he should be offered one to give to his date instead. (or whatever he may choose to do with it)

One groomsman in military dress?

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