Rehearsal Dinner Question

sammichele · August 2010

Which people are you inviting to your RD? I'd like to invite the WP plus our immediate families but they are kind of large and it's turning out to be around 70 people - which feels like a lot. I've also heard it's nice to invite OOT guests but that might just be a ridiculous number of people. Plus, our rehearsal will be either on the Wednesday or Thursday before the wedding so I'm not sure how many OOTers will even be in yet.

I know it's early for me to be planning this out but I want to make sure I budget enough for it. Thanks!

Julz629 · August 2010

We are only inviting the wedding party (10 people), spouses/SOs/guests (another 10), parents (4), officiant (1), and the two of us. So 27 people total. Oh, and two members of our wedding party have kids so we are including & Family on the invites, but both kids are under 1. We debated on out-of-town guests, but it would have more than doubled the guest count and we want to enjoy the time with our wedding party.

You don't HAVE to invite out-of-town guests, although you can.

I would include immediate family -- your siblings, parents, etc.

We debated on including the grandparents, but in the end decided not to.

leeshab1982 · August 2010

We had our RD on the Wednesday before the wedding, so we didn't have any OOT people in yet (other than those in the wedding party). We invited all WP members and their significant others, all immediate family members and their kids/significant others, anyone involved in the ceremony (officiant, reader, ushers, etc.) and a few close friends and family members that didn't fall into any of those categories. We ended up with about 35-40 people.

ETA: We did include grandparents, but DH was raised by his grandparents, so that was like inviting parents to us. If you are close with your grandparents, then I'd invite them, too.

sunkissed212 · August 2010

ditto PP's. We are inviting the wedding party and their spouses, and our immediate families, and our offiiciant. Our coordinator will be there too. It'll be about 30 people total.

mordacious · August 2010

WP and spouses, immediate family (and I mean very immediate, moms. dads, brothers and sisters), officiant...around 25 people.

sammichele · August 2010

Thanks guys....this is making me feel a whole lot better. I thought that 70+ sounded like an awful lot...

Julz629 · August 2010

Is everyone including their readers?? I didn't even think of that...

cmkuno · August 2010

I think the general rule is, the only people you're obligated to invite to the RD are people who are obligated to be at the rehearsal. So if you are asking readers to come to the rehearsal, then they get an invite to the dinner. With their SO's. Absolutely no obligation to invite OOT guests.

If your RD invite list is large, and there's no way to trim it down, then perhaps opt for a more casual (and therefore less expensive) dinner. We did ours at Pizza Papalis in Greektown. It was SUPER cheap and everyone had a good time! We got salad, bread sticks, pizza, and pitchers of pop and beer for around $10/pp.

Kimbus 87 · August 2010

We had the BP party, us + our 2 kids, our parents, my grandpa was on bed rest otherwise he would have been ther + SIL and their 2 kids (BIL was the BM). I think there was 18

emily1004 · August 2010

We invited the OOT. We had a huge number, around 110, but a lot of people didn't come in until Saturday. I have never gone to a wedding out of town and not been invited to the rehearsal dinner. But that's just the way our families do it, if you're an OOT you get invited to the rehearsal dinner. I might find it a little strange if I travel from out of town and I don't get an invitation to the rehearsal dinner.

BUT...I understand a lot of people disagree with me. I think you should do whatever your families are use to doing, If they always invite OOT, then invite them. These people are taking time off, and paying a lot of money to make the trip in for your wedding, after all.

My DH family did it very casual too...we had ours at Leo's Coney Island. It was a blast! Plus they let them bring in deserts and our own bar.

queenfm85 · August 2010

We are having a SUPER casual RD at FMIL's house. She lives in Troy and has a lake in her backyard. She makes the best food EVER and we'll probably just do it very informal. WP, immediate family and SOs. I havent even thought about the minister...? Hmm..

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