What would you do?

Zimsgirl · December 2011

So I am a bridesmaid and FI is a groomsman in a couple's wedding next September. They are so hard to get ahold of and they are one of those couple's that just care about each other and lost pretty much all of their friends. We can never seem to get ahold of them when we're home and we feel like we're drifting. FI and I try so hard because we don't want it to get awkward but yeah. They are so hard to get ahold of and don't seem to care about getting in touch with us. What would you do at this point?

michellep1 · December 2011

I guess all you can do is make the effort. If they're the kinds of friends that aren't really that close with any of their close friends, then that's their decision, and unfortunately, their loss. We have a friend-couple that are difficult to make plans with, so we just try when we can and otherwise we make a special effort to get together when they actually suggest something.

Maybe the next time you get together with them you can try to find something that interests both of you to make plans for in the future? For example if you're talking about a movie that looks good or a new restaurant, you can make plans right then to go there together the next week.

goodine11 · December 2011

Are you asking what would I do about staying in the wedding? If so, I would probably stay in the wedding, but I would be make mention that I tried to get in touch with them and it has been kinda difficult.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

Well stay in the wedding I just don't know how to get them to respond to us or make plans

nvelez28 · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_would-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:688b1dda-5fec-4678-a92c-a89d18b9e7b8Post:9c9ae222-5d05-4710-9bb7-b1be13f1f09a">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well stay in the wedding I just don't know how to get them to respond to us or make plans
Posted by Zimsgirl[/QUOTE]
You're very kind to spend your time and money to be in their wedding when they're less than awesome friends.

Zimsgirl · December 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_would-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:688b1dda-5fec-4678-a92c-a89d18b9e7b8Post:8fa4813c-491d-472d-971f-5f5537ea816e">Re: What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: What would you do? : You're very kind to spend your time and money to be in their wedding when they're less than awesome friends.
Posted by nvelez28[/QUOTE]
Thanks. It's just hard because I try to help her any way I can. I asked for her bridesmaid's numbers so I could help plan the shower and asked about details of the wedding. I don't even know where the reception is just the town!!

kelsey+brandon · December 2011

Maybe they're slow in making decisions and don't want to stress about it with people asking a lot of questions. Especially since you're also planning your wedding, she might be assuming that's all you want to talk about.

Just give it some time. If it gets closer to the wedding and they're still acting sketchy, I would probably say something to them then. They might be really busy with the holidays or the opposite of what I said above and super busy trying to get things booked since they're at the 9 months mark.

MMRoberts11 · December 2011

I would just tell them that you want to get together some time and catch up. It could be a number of things as to why they are not getting back to you but I would just put the ball in their court for it.

I recently was just in a situation like that. One of my BMs was really busy and not getting back to me so I was concerned since that's not the way she is at all. Turns out her grandpa died and she was helping her grandma with a lot of things, working full time, studying for her LSAT, wedding planning, and the standard home ownership stuff. When we met up yesterday she told me all this and I was like wow... I'm sorry; completely understandable to why you didn't get back to me.

What would you do?

Re: What would you do?

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