Dear Prudence,
I am a 60-year-old man who has been married for 30 years and has two grown children. My wife and I both earn ample incomes and are very comfortable financially. For almost a decade I've been having an affair. My mistress is an artist in her 40s, a wonderful woman whom I'll call "Peggy." We have a real emotional connection. I'm not her sugar daddy—I've never given her more than a few gifts or paid for meals and hotel bills. I have just been diagnosed with cancer—perhaps curable, but the statistics are terrible—and I would like to make a provision in my will for Peggy. The sum would make little difference to my family but would mean a big difference for Peggy. The danger is if my wife and kids find out, they'll be devastated. I've talked to a lawyer who outlined ways to do it discreetly. I know adultery is wrong and I should never have had an affair. But morally speaking, what do you think about my plan for Peggy?
—At a Loss