S/O - Showers (the party kind, not the water kind)

bibliophile2010 · November 2012

Keeping up with the theme of levity, some random survey questions about showers (spurred by thoughts about the shower Newly is hosting this weekend):

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.

bibliophile2010 · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why? I go back and forth. I like kitchen gadgets, so I like seeing what brides get, and I think bridal showers tend to have fewer bad games (I'm not a shower games girl). I think people generally seeing enjoy cute baby stuff more than sheets and towels.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again? I have really hosted (hostessed?) two bridal showers, though I've helped with a few others. I would totally do it again -- especially since Pinterest has started providing so many fun ideas!

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you? I had both a bridal shower and baby shower -- 52 weeks apart! Both were hosted by a combination of my sister, aunt, and cousins. I asked them to keep the baby shower more low-key since I had just had a shower and felt so blessed by people's generosity. In both cases, my sister included all of these amazing details that really made for amazing days.

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies? I'm all about celebrating major life milestones, and think all babies deserve to be celebrated. That said, I think second showers should be more low-key -- closest family and friends, and baby events beyond that should be really small. I'm also all about keeping big-ticket baby stuff gender-neutral so it can be used for subsequent babies easily.

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here. Bachelorette parties in my circle are not really a big deal. Usually they involve dinner and drinks and that's about it.

itzMS · November 2012

Again, fun topic!

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?

Neither. I don't enjoy forced fun, I tend to be more of the spontaneous type.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?

No, I have been in several bridal parties where it is "assumed" that all bridesmaids have the duty to host the shower. I usually politely decline hostessing and attend as a guest to the shower.

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?

I politely turned down the 4 showers I was offered, again for the avoidance of Forced Fun and having people watch me open gifts.

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?

Gift grabby.

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.

I think they're much better than sitting in a circle next to the bride's great aunt Susie watching the bride open gifts.

Chloeagh · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?
I've never actually been to either, but I would expect I would like bridal showers better. I'm kinda weirdly obsessed with the process of making a house a home, so I would love to see all the gifts and stuff. I am also weirdly not into baby stuff, so I would probably feel really uncomfortable at a baby shower for not being as into it as everyone else.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?
No.

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?
Not yet. I'm pretty sure if I have one, it'll be my mom or FMIL hosting.

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?
I think the celebration could be fun, but it should be low key and not gift oriented. In theory, they already have everything and I think it would be wasteful to not reuse it.

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.
My best friend in high school always talked about taking me to a drag show when we turned 18. It never happened, so I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to do that for a bachelorette party. But we don't live in the same area, so it probably won't happen. I'm really more of a spa, dinner, and wine kind of girl. I think the whole, "Let's go pretend you're not engaged" (for men or women) is really trashy. I'm the first in my group to get married, so I don't really know what the expectation is going to be.

Resa77 · November 2012

Fun questions!

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?
That's a hard one! I don't think I have a preference.
2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?
Oh let's see...off the top of my head, I've thrown 15. Some I had a much more in-charge role than others. I'd do it again... I'm an expert by now! I've thrown showers for my sisters (baby and bridal), a 3 of my closest friends (baby and bridal). I threw 2 in 2012, for instance. Honestly, I don't even like throwing showers in the way you'd think...I only like throwing showers in that I like doing something nice for my loved ones, if that makes sense.
3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?
I had two bridal showers -- one thrown by my bridesmaids, and one thrown by my office. My office shower was a surprise. There was cake and tons of food, and I was shocked by the generous gifts. My other shower was so wonderful -- lovely gifts, a couple fun games, and AMAZING food. It was at my sister's (AMAZING) house, and there were about 30 guests.
4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?
Second weddings depend on other factors -- how recent was the first wedding being my biggest question. I roll my eyes at someone who just got married 3 years ago and is having another shower. If it's been 10 or so years, I think a shower is fitting. Also, is it both people's second wedding? If I know the groom, but it's the brides first wedding, then she should def get a shower!
I'm a huge proponent of 2nd+ baby showers. I agree they should be a bit smaller, but I think each baby deserves to be celebrated. As #8, I resent the fact that I had no special outfit, toy, etc., from my childhood.
5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.
In my crowd, BPs are a big deal. Usually it'll involve a limo, going out dancing, etc. It's just a night to get dressed up and give lingerie to the bride, and just be silly girls.

Calypso1977 · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why? I really dislike attending either. I guess id have to pick baby showers as my preferred one to attend.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again? I hosted a wedding shower for my best friend and a baby shower for another good friend, and jointly hosted a baby shower for my sister in law. i doubt id do it again since when i hosted the ones for my friends it was a different time and they were simpler - now everyone wants a fancy restaurant or country club location and it just isnt affordable anymore.

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you? I declined a shower as i personally dont like the idea of asking people for gifts. i also didnt register for the same reason. if i had a baby id probably decline a baby shower too.

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies? it doesnt bother me if people have htem for second weddings, particularly if i didnt attend the first wedding/shower. second babies i think its absurd unless its someone having a surprise late in life baby and they've long since donated all of their baby gear.

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here. i feel the same way about these as showers - it used to be ladies all just got drunk somewhere and that was it. now they all involve fancy meals/overnight stays at ritzy hotels. im just tired of other people's weddings and life choices costing me alot of money. it really in some ways takes the joy out of celebrating as im always trying to find a way to be involved without putting myself in financial peril.

erin5286 · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?
I haven't attended enough of each to have a preference. Other than my own showers, I've only been to one other bridal shower, and one baby shower. I really enjoyed both, it was fun seeing what kind of gifts were given at each.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?
I haven't, but I would definitely consider it in the future. Probably just for one (or more) of my sisters, either bridal or baby shower, and it would likely be more low-key and a smaller shower. I don't think I'd ever be up for throwing a big shindig.

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?
I had two bridal showers, one hosted by a friend in the town where I lived, and another hosted by my MIL and SIL for their side of the family. Both were nice, but the one hosted by my friend was a little more fun because my friends were there, and my mom and sisters. I don't know FI's side of the family very well, so that shower was just a little less fun for me. Both had a few games, which I didn't love, but didn't hate either. I'm just not a huge fan of games at showers, but I'll go along with them without complaint.

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?
I'm for them, depending on the situation. Like previous people mentioned, especially for a second wedding, it depends on the situation. If it's been years since the previous wedding, or if its only the second wedding for one of the individuals, I don't think it's a problem. I definitely think it's fine to throw a baby shower for a second child - younger siblings should definitely get new fun things too! I agree with previous mentions that a baby shower for a second baby should be a little more low-key, but I certainly don't think they shouldn't happen. Maybe the second baby is of a different gender, so there aren't many (if any) hand-me-down clothes that the parent can use. Or, what if there are many years between the children and the parents didn't keep any of their baby stuff?

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.
Haven't been to many of these either, but the ones I've been to have all been different, ranging from a weekend at a lake cabin, to a night out on the town, to a small group going shopping and then to a murder-mystery dinner theater show.

maggieandrey · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why? I was really afraid I'd be the only one who felt this way - but I hate both. I like to send gifts to showers with somebody else then skip them I've been lucky this year with 4 weddings, I only was able to make it to one bridal shower. If I had to choose, I'd say baby.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again? I've hosted two baby showers for my best friend. I would do it again, because I'm crazy.

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you? I am not having a bridal shower. I told my MOH that I didn't want an engagement party, shower, or bachelorette party because for me, my wedding is about sharing the rest of my life with my FH, not all these other excuses to turn me into the center of attention. (I did tell her that I understand that my stance is socially unacceptable and she can surprise me with one of the above. Nothing's happened yet so we will see!)

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies? Depends on the circumstances. I had a shower for my best friend's second baby and it was a diaper party. This is my second wedding, and if there is a surprise shower at some point I don't think it would be off-putting since I didn't have one the first time around.

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here. I don't like bachelorette parties either. Maybe I'm just anti-social. I went to one in atlantic city in May, and it was fun, but not really my cup of tea.

Resa77 · November 2012

Calypso, I agree about showers and BP's becoming too big and too pricey. Nothing wrong with a shower held at someone's home!

mtrosales · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?
I think I prefer bridal showers – not that I’ve been to many of either!

I feel as though bridal showers are[should be!] comprised of people closer to the bride, so it’s not as.. awkward? While baby showers, on the other hand, are more likely to have guests from different groups of the mom-to-be. I went to one a few weeks ago where I didn’t know anyone aside from the mom-to-be, and I’m not the greatest at starting conversations with people I don’t know.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?

I hosted a bridal shower this past spring for my best childhood friend, who I was MOH to. I would definitely do it again!

It was a tiny bit stressful at times [I was at school across the country/am a bit of a control freak], but all of the other bridesmaids were so helpful and just as excited as I was to show our good friend our love and support! It turned out great. I wish I could start a shower-planning business lol

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?

My August bridal shower was hosted by [now] sisters-in-law at my MIL’s house.

It was awesome! They had just the right mix of traditional shower-ness with my personality and style. They asked me for a guest list, so only my nearest and dearest were there

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?
I don’t think I agree with showers for second babies. Maybe if it’s being thrown by/for different people? Like a new job? Maybe a new marriage/relationship? I don’t know; I don’t have much experience with this.

For weddings, I think it’s also circumstantial.

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.

I think bachelorette parties are unnecessary. If someone offers to organize it, fine.. but I feel like some brides make a bigger deal out of the party than their wedding! Then we have to see all of their [tmi] photos from it on Facebook haha

Thanks for the fun questions!

amartell · November 2012

I just wanted to share that I was totally not looking forward to my showers. I was worried about how awkward and boring it would be for my guests to watch me open gifts.

However, my mom, sister, and best friend did a great job organizing the shower for my side of the family. While everyone was taking turns to go get their lunch at the buffet, people could work on a game my friend created as a way to get to know me and my FI. She had emailed me and my FI separately a questionnaire and then she assembled a list of statements. People had to decided which one of us (or both) said that statement. Each question answered correctly was worth one point and the person from each table with the most points won a small prize. It actually was pretty fun.

The next thing they decided to do was to a play a 'game' while I opened my presents. The person who's gift I was opening could either ask me a question or tell a story about me and/or my FI.

Everyone commented how they loved my bridal shower. My aunts and friends were able to learn more about me and my FI without feeling bored or awkward as I opened the gifts.

And since FI and I have absolutley nothing of our own for a new home, we have been very thankful for all the kitchen and bath gifts we have been receiving at my showers!

Tami87 · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?
I think I prefer to attend baby showers because I love seeing all the baby clothes and stuff. I only remember attending 2 baby showers though, and maybe one bridal shower besides my own.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?
Nope. I think it could be fun though. I am going to be a bridesmaid for the first time in a wedding a year from now so maybe I will get to co-host a bridal shower.
3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?

I had one shower hosted by my husband's aunt at her house for mostly my husbands side of the family. My MOH and her mother and my mother were the only people from "my side" who were able to make it. Thankfully I had met most of my husband's family before so it wasn't too weird. There was a lot of good food and we played a few games but they weren't really wedding related. I had a good time and everyone was very generous. I did not have a shower for my side of the family because the logistics of everyone being spread across the country just didn't make it feasible. Plus one shower was more than enough!

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?
For second weddings I think it depends on the situation. I don't think showers are necessary for second babies, unless there is a large age gap.

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.

I have only been to one bachelorette party besides my own and I was underage so missed out on barhopping and just came for dinner. For mine we went to dinner, stayed in a hotel room by the bar district and then went out. My bridesmaids generously split the cost of the hotel room and gave lingerie gifts. This is a pretty typical bachelorette party in my circle. I think to expect your friends to spend huge amounts of money on a destination bachelorette party is ridiculous. Especially if they will also have to travel for the wedding.

Resa77 · November 2012

Well I won't invite any of you to my 2nd baby shower

In all seriousness, though, I totally see the controversy of it. I guess where I differ is that I don't see it as giving the same person gifts, because I'm giving the baby a gift, not the Mom. I see it as an early birthday gift. People should definitely reuse what they can, though!

bibliophile2010 · November 2012

Resa, we can go to one another's many-th baby showers, because I agree with you.

I don't think people need all new gear for each baby, but there are plenty of circumstances where, especially clothes, need to be replaced (large age gap, different gender, born different times of year, different geography/weather). Like you said, each baby needs to have some special stuff, and needs to feel like they were special, wanted, and loved.

I can see how having big PPD-type showers for a million babies starts getting ridiculous. My cousin's 3rd is 2, and before he was born, my aunt hosted a luncheon for maybe 10 of us. We brought gifts. We celebrated the baby. We had a good time. No melted choclate bar diapers. No registries. No big fuss, but still really nice.

professorscience · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?

I can't really say -- I think both are just so fun and I love celebrating new things... I guess I'd say baby showers, but probably only because I've got the fever BAAAD.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?

My friend and I helped to host a mutual friend's bridal shower and then pretty much completely hosted her baby shower (aside from the location), and it was exhausting. My friend actually but way more work into it than I did. My only regret with the baby shower was that it was the weekend after our wedding and we were trying to pack to move out of our apartments and I was just miserable and exhausted. I love parties, though, so I'd totally do it again.

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you?
My MIL threw (by way of her friends) an engagement party for us, which was a lot of fun, but a nightmare to plan. My MIL is WAY more adept at etiquette than I am, and the party ended up having TWENTY hostesses (40 if you include hosts), and this will sound really selfish of me, but purchasing thank-you gifts for that many people was quite a nightmare. My BIL even went to bat for me and insisted that she cut down on the hostesses. It was still a ton of fun and MIL ended up helping me with the gifts, so it was great. My bridesmaids also threw a shower that was really just a lot of fun -- it was great to have all my girlfriends and family around.

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies?

I think I am for second weddings. The circumstances under which a first marriage ends can be so painful, and sometimes the wife never even sees it coming. I don't think it's fair to just assume she doesn't get to celebrate that second time around.

As for second babies, I never knew people had a problem with them until I got here. Granted, I don't know many people with kids, so it's never been an issue for me, but I always think, what if the second kid is the opposite sex? Or like my H's cousin, who just had twins -- you can't really do hand-me-downs in those cases, you know?

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here.

I found it very ironic that after my bachelorette party, most of my friends decided they were "too old" for crazy b-parties, since I am pretty much the most mellow of our bunch. But I'm excited that I might not ever have to go back to Dirty 6th in Austin (which seems to be THE b-party destination in Texas) again.

newlyseliski · November 2012

1. Which do you prefer attending, baby showers or bridal showers? Why?

I don't really know... I do like them both a lot, although I've been getting lots of questions at baby showers lately about when DH and I are going to have a baby and it makes me sad since we haven't had any TTC luck yet... so probably bridal showers slightly in favor to avoid those awkward moments.

2. Have you ever hosted a shower? For whom? Would you do it again?

I've hosted a bridal shower when I was guilted into it for more of an acquaintance and put a lot of work into it and hardly anyone showed up, so that was frustrating and I didn't want anything to do with hosting crap unless it was for very close friends or family. On the other hand, I'm super excited for my sister's baby shower this weekend and it's nice to collaborate with my mom and other sister to put it together!

3. Have you had your shower(s)? Who hosted? What were they like? If you didn't have a shower, why didn't you? I had bridal showers with friends, coworkers, DH's aunts/family and family friends in town (4 total) ... if people offered to host something... I accepted.

4. How do you feel about showers for second weddings? What about second babies? I've never been invited to showers for either... but I think I'd be more opent to showers for second babies than second weddings. I'd agree with biblio about making sure to request gender-neutral gifts for your first child as it's pretty wasteful to expect people to buy new big-ticket items for a second child. I like the idea of more of a luncheon to just get together without necessarily an expectation of gifts!

5. It seems like there should be a related bachelorette party question, so insert any thoughts about them here. I've been to good bachelorette parties and bad ones. My first one wasn't the greatest experience and involved supervising a bunch of drunk girls barhopping in NE Minneapolis. Two of the girls went off on a party bus with a bachelor party and didn't text the bride about it until after we had been looking for them for over two hours at a bar that was absolutely packed to the gills for Oktoberfest... and then the bride got sick in my car on the way home! I prefer more low-key ones that don't involve excessive drinking, inappropriate genital paraphernalia or pretending to be single... I hosted a wine and cheese party and have also been to dinner+concerts, vineyards and other types that don't involve wasting a ton of money!

S/O - Showers (the party kind, not the water kind)

Re: S/O - Showers (the party kind, not the water kind)

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