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BM dress issue

ria77ria77 member
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
Here's my situation, the dress I want my girls to wear is a copy of a dress that my mother had worn when she was 16, when she met my dad. It's fairly simple vintage dress (just has some elaborate pleating around the neckline)from the 50's. I spoke with a seamstress, who said that she could make the dresses for about $200 each. I've never had a dress made to know if thats a good price or not. My MOH and one BM both said thats reasonable, the other two are my FI's sisters and they weren't too thrilled with the price.

Now that I've got this dress in my head, it's really the dress that I want the girls to wear. More so for sentimental reason's, I wore that dress on my 18th birthday to visit my mom in the hospital(she passed just before my 19th birthday), I just feel that it would be a wonderful way to have her there with me.
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Re: BM dress issue

  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure what question you're asking, but if you just want another person's take on the issue, I'll give it to you. As much as you may love a dress, it is always always always best to go with the budgets your BMs give you. Ask them what they are comfortable spending beforehand and then find dresses that will work for them.

    1950s style dresses are really popular right now. I'd be willing to bet that you can find one for less than $200 that will look wonderful. Check at places like unique-vintage.com, etsy, modcloth, bettie page, etc. I even got a 1950s style dress at Dress Barn for my 50s engagement shoot. Even if it isn't exactly the dress your mom wore, you can still honor her by selecting one that is similar, and I'll bet your mom would really respect your honoring your BMs budgets at the same time.
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  • Zippy88kZippy88k member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Keep in mind that that $200 probably includes all alterations the girls would need, so I think that it is a fair price. As far as if the girls can afford it, you need to have an honest discussion with them. If you're financially able, offer to help them out. If not, you may have to find another option.
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  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    $200 is a lot of money.  Are you asking is if $200 is reasonable for a BM dress?  I can't answer that - only your BMs can.  You have to work within their budgets.

    I'd ask them privately how much they feel comfortable spending.  If they think $200 is too much, then you'll need to either pony up the difference yourself or go with a different option. 

    I would also ask around to different seamstresses - someone might be able to give you a better price, especially since you'll be ordering more than one.

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  • ADTonkADTonk
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If your BM's are uncomfortable with the price of the dress, I'd skip it.  If you really want it that bad, you should probably offer to pay for part of it.  I'd ask your BM's for their budget in private and stick with that budget.  It's unfair to your BM's to expect them to spend $200 on a dress if they don't feel comfortable spending that much money.
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  • peanutty2peanutty2 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Not exactly sure what the question is but i'll offer my take on the situation.

    whether 200$ is a lot is up to your girls. I think it's a lot, but if I was asked nicely and it includes alterations I'd probably suck it up. Not everyone can do that though and you should offer to help them pay for it since it's what you really want.  And i gather that some of the girls have indicated that it's a bit much for them.  In that case, I'd offer to help them with the costs. 

    You might be able to look around though and find a similar dress for cheaper though. 
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    As Trix would say,  "You are going about this bass ackards."  ; )

    What you should do is ask each bm, privately, what their budgets are for their dress. Find a dress within the lowest range. If you are not able to do that, then you should pay the difference. If some of your bms are saying the dress is too expensive, then it's too expensive. And chances are slim that your friends would wear that dress again, so I do think $200 is a lot to spend.

    I have another suggestion for you. Since you love the dress so much, why not have it made for you? You could wear it for your rehearsal dinner,  shower or engagement photo. It seems to me that it would mean more for you to wear the dress. And you'll be able to wear it again for special occasions.
                       
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  • kmmssgkmmssg mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    One other thing to consider - what if this dress doesn't flatter your BM's at all?  Each one needs to be able to try one on to see how it looks.  It may have sentimental value to you, but one of them may feel horrible wearing it.

    I also think $200.00 is too much to ask.
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  • salsamcgsalsamcg member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No way could I afford $200 for a bridesmaids dress.  I understand you like it and all, but if it's that important to you then get the dress for you.  You need to discuss with your BMs individually what their budgets are and what styles they are most comfortable with.  It is not often that 1 dress looks amazing on a bunch of different women.
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  • KnibletKniblet member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    DITTO MariePoppy, especially about having the dress made for you.
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  • Muffin'sMomMuffin'sMom
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_bm-dress-issue?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:c8e99a45-ded5-4746-a297-34a9f2959935Post:b62504fd-54bc-4a62-8049-155225568a2e">Re: BM dress issue</a>:
    [QUOTE]As Trix would say,  "You are going about this bass ackards."  ; ) What you should do is ask each bm, privately, what their budgets are for their dress. Find a dress within the lowest range. If you are not able to do that, then you should pay the difference. If some of your bms are saying the dress is too expensive, then it's too expensive. And chances are slim that your friends would wear that dress again, so I do think $200 is a lot to spend. I have another suggestion for you. Since you love the dress so much, why not have it made for you? You could wear it for your rehearsal dinner,  shower or engagement photo. It seems to me that it would mean more for you to wear the dress. And you'll be able to wear it again for special occasions.
    Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

    This!
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    If you are 100% set on the dress and no other dress will due you may have to purchase the dress for BMs yourself.  You should really talk to each individual BM privately to see what their budget is prior to deciding on any dress.  You could always compromise and have them pay half and you pay the other half.  There is a way to make this work but like PP said talking about the budget is your first priority.

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  • ria77ria77 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I spoke with each individual girl, everyone is on board. The $200 is the price for the dress to be made to fit each individual girl. There won't be a need for alterations to be made after each dress is made. Thanks everyone
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