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Catholic Weddings

Engagement encounter jitters?

Hello everyone, so this weekend is my engaged encounter. I had been looking forward to doing this retreat even before were ring on finger engaged. Now that I have been going to couple mentor counsel sessions and now that the weekend is here, I am really just not excited for it anymore. This is the lat week of classes for me before finals so I thought maybe it was just stress. But after looking at my finals schedule I almost don't even have any, or anything that will be to hard. I don't know what it is. I want to be excited but i'm just not...Frown
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Re: Engagement encounter jitters?

  • I think you should just relax and look forward to having alone time with your FI.  For my husband and I, the EE weekend didn't bring up anything we hadn't already talked about, but they had a breakout session built in to every lesson where we were supposed to go sit down and talk about our individual responses to these questionnaires we'd been given.  Like I said, we'd already talked about just about everything there, but I don't know if we ever came to concrete agreements before the weekend.

    It was also just awesome to be able to sit down with him on a gorgeous couple of days and talk. 
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  • Do you think it's just general anxiety over it being a new, unknown environment?  I get mild anxiety over these kinds of things, so I can totally relate to that.  I was so anxious about meeting with our sponsor couple, and it turned out WAY better than we'd imagined. 

    Or are you worrying about something specific?  Disagreeing with your FI?  Disagreeing with the speakers? 

     

  • While we did not do the weekend encounter, FI and I had a full Saturday of pre cana.  I was more dreading it than being anxious.  I had no idea what was going to happen or what we would be talking about.  But once it started it was great!  There was a lot of time to just sit and talk with FI about different things.  I don't think you have anything to feel anxious about. 
  • Echoing others, is there anything in particular that you are anxious about. If so, perhaps we could help settle your fears.

    If not, I would remember that you really can't "fail" EE. It's more about opening or maintaining lines of communication and making sure that you and your FI are on the same page about really important issues. Like Prof. Sci., my now-H and I just enjoyed the time together, hearing the speakers (ours had some great wisdom to share), etc.
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  • edited March 2012
    I don't really have any specific anxiety about it though, i'm just not excited about it... I think it's just due to the fact that it's at then end of my quarter and I just want a weekend of relxation and not schedules. I'm sure it will be beneficial but it's just the not excited anymore factor thats a bummer...
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  • This may sound ridiculous, but what really bothers me about it is the fact that we have to have a roommate and spend the weekend sharing a room with someone we don't know. For the amount of money that you spend on this ($150 per person), I think that you should at least get your own room. We're adults, not college freshmen. I feel like being put in a room with someone you don't know could be an uncomfortable situation and is not conducive to the type of reflection that you're supposed to do during the weekend.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_engagement-encounter-jitters?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:6d486437-ec7e-4bb9-a763-a1cc77f168c2Post:a7babcc5-5e3d-46d2-a39e-cf694cede01a">Re: Engagement encounter jitters?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This may sound ridiculous, but what really bothers me about it is the fact that we have to have a roommate and spend the weekend sharing a room with someone we don't know. For the amount of money that you spend on this ($150 per person), I think that you should at least get your own room. We're adults, not college freshmen. I feel like being put in a room with someone you don't know could be an uncomfortable situation and is not conducive to the type of reflection that you're supposed to do during the weekend.
    Posted by sbelle85[/QUOTE]
    or you could go into it with a really great attitude, and you may even make a new friend! :-)<div>(Well, more likely, as has been attested to on this board before by people who attended EE, you will probably barely even see your roommate, as it is likely the only time you will spend in your room you will be sleeping.)</div><div>
    </div><div>I also suspect that part of the reason they put people with roommates is just in case anyone gets the idea that they want to spend the night somewhere with their FI...</div>
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  • FWIW, FI and I were totall blown away on our EE weekend, in a really good way. It was our absolute favorite time together. Very intense, very emotional, but VERY worth it!

    I can totally relate to any kind of anxiety about roomates, awkward situations, etc. However, we were pleasanly surprised. I ended up totally hitting it off with my roomate, and she and her fiance hung out with FI and I all weekend. We have become great friends ever since, going out socially. Their wedding is a week before ours and we are so grateful to have found friends in the very same stage of life as us. What an awesome added bonus to an already great weekend. Good luck!
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