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new here!

kbb34kbb34 member
10 Comments
in Second Weddings
hi all (as intros usually go, this is sort of long, my question starts in the 3rd paragraph if you want to jump ahead)

This seems like a great board, just from reading through there seems to be so much support for what is I am sure a stressful wedding situation.  I hope you don't mind me crashing the party.

I am not engaged yet (and usually hang out in that board) but am seriously dating a single dad and really have no doubt that if all continues the way it is we will end up married (as we have discussed)  that being said I have a situation that the girls on NEY might not be as familiar with as you guys are.

My BFs daughter is moving out of state this week and I am worried about how he is going to deal with it.  He is the type of man that keeps his feelings to himself usually but even he has mentioned to me on multiple occasions that this is going to be difficult for him.  I am not sure how to best support him besides listening to him and just doing random little things.  Do you guys have any other suggestions?  Thanks!!
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Re: new here!

  • squarepeg72squarepeg72
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Being there is the best thing in the world you can do for him. Give him time to adust and listen if he needs to talk. Take pictures of him & here before she goes and have them put in a collage or fram to give to him after she leaves. Just whatever seems to fit the occassion. My oldest leaves for college in 2 weeks and I am not sure how well I will handle it but knowing FH will be close by ready to listen (with tissues in hand) helps more than he may ever know.

    Welcome to the board ...

    Wedding Countdown Ticker PhotobucketPhotobucket June 2012 Siggy Challange - Shoes
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I'm trying to think what I wanted when my daughter moved 4 hours away from me several years ago.  Now she lives only 90 minutes away, but still. . .  Hmmm.  I think that stuff to fill the time that we normally spent together was good.  (I started my dog in field trials and earthdog competitions.)  And then I scheduled regular times to talk to her, as well as asked her to text me each morning and each evening, as a well-being check.  Once I learned that she had made some friends, and had a safety-net there it was a lot easier for me.  So, having your BF ask the daughter about making friends, activities, etc. might put the parent mind slightly to rest.  
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • lindaloulubbocklindaloulubbock
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    How old is his daughter?
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  • kbb34kbb34 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    hi all sorry I have been away lately and haven't been posting.

    Thanks for the suggestions, I made him a collage of pictures and he took it to work to put in his cubicle at work.  She is not even school aged yet, so she can't call on her own just to check in and he and his wife are still going through the divorce so it is not always fun to just call her and have to talk to the stbx before talking to the kiddo...

    I have suggested skype but his computer doesn't have a webcam.  I also suggested sending a card just to say hi, because I thought what kid doesn't love getting mail.

    But I realized mostly I need to just be there when he gets sad and listen, which is sometimes hard to do because I am a self professed "fixer"
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