Bring the gift or ship it?

MissSarah786 · November 2010

I wanted to make a cute gift basket and bring it to the wedding, which is not destination, or should I just have the story ship it without the extra that I would have included in the basket?

I can not ship myself, it would be far too expensive.

Galaxy8227 · November 2010

I agree with PP's, if they have a registry I would just stick with that.

DanielleM01 · November 2010

Would your gift basket be composed of stuff from their registry? If so, I think it's a cute idea and you should bring it to the wedding, provided the wedding is in the same town that the couple lives. If not, I tend to agree with PPs.

lynnmfrank · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:565565d7-cd0e-48fc-8f44-d577853bcf9d">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]Personally I would skip the gift basket. DH and I picked our registry carefully because we already had everything that we needed. We returned almost all of what wasn't on the registry and exchanged it for what hadn't been purchased. While the idea is sweet, it would have been met with an exasperated sigh from us.
Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

Just wondering how a question about shipping became a judgement over this person's gift choice. Don't Knottie's have better things to do with their time??

From my viewpoint, gift choice is entirely up to each individuals giving a gift. It is, afterall, a gift, not a requirement like a payment, isn't it?

tldh · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:00aa0b1d-ba36-4bf8-b85d-c2668f8e6638">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bring the gift or ship it? : Just wondering how a question about shipping became a judgement over this person's gift choice. Don't Knottie's have better things to do with their time?? From my viewpoint, gift choice is entirely up to each individuals giving a gift. It is, afterall, a gift, not a requirement like a payment, isn't it?
Posted by lynnmfrank[/QUOTE]

First of all, it's not a judgement.

We don't answer only for the OP. We answer for people who may search this question in the future. Those of us who are married will warn people that what they are planning is not a good idea. Many people are getting married after establishing careers and combining two well stocked households when they move in together and the absolute last thing they need is stuff that they didn't want in the first place taking up space.

We know that a gift isn't a requirement but a considerate guest who wants to buy one will stick to the registry.

jennylove810 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:00aa0b1d-ba36-4bf8-b85d-c2668f8e6638">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bring the gift or ship it? : Just wondering how a question about shipping became a judgement over this person's gift choice. Don't Knottie's have better things to do with their time?? From my viewpoint, gift choice is entirely up to each individuals giving a gift. It is, afterall, a gift, not a requirement like a payment, isn't it?
Posted by lynnmfrank[/QUOTE]

No judgement was passed, it was a wise piece of advice from a been-there-done-that-bride.

Yes, gift choice is up to the giver, but the guest who shopped off my registry and gifted me with the fugliest lime green leaf-shaped serving platters that I have ever seen did me no favors, know what I mean?

Trust me, sticking to the registry is always, always best. Except for when you give cash, which is even better.

Viczaesar · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:82e3965c-5088-4567-a67a-7efaf4c6c522">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bring the gift or ship it? : No judgement was passed, it was a wise piece of advice from a been-there-done-that-bride. Yes, gift choice is up to the giver, but the guest who shopped off my registry and gifted me with the fugliest lime green leaf-shaped serving platters that I have ever seen did me no favors, know what I mean? Trust me, sticking to the registry is always, always best. Except for when you give cash, which is even better.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
And they also did you no harm. You were not owed a present that you pre-selected, and you were not out anything. Anything you got for your wedding was a plus; if you choose not to keep any of your pluses, you're in exactly the same situation you were before. If you don't like the serving platters, donate them and make someone else happy. No harm, no foul.

I strongly, strongly disagree with the sentiment that the "considerate guest" is one who only shops off of the registry or gives cash.

jennylove810 · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:9f9d7d77-eb4e-4e92-8c32-6db95851c6fe">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bring the gift or ship it? : And they also did you no harm. You were not owed a present that you pre-selected, and you were not out anything. Anything you got for your wedding was a plus; if you choose not to keep any of your pluses, you're in exactly the same situation you were before. If you don't like the serving platters, donate them and make someone else happy. No harm, no foul. I strongly, strongly disagree with the sentiment that the "considerate guest" is one who only shops off of the registry or gives cash.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

But just to play Devil's Advocate, if a couple has a registry (and assuming that the registry has a variety of price points) why would you NOT give that first consideration when purchasing a gift for the couple? Like PPs said, they have carefully selected items that they'd really like to receive. If a photo frame or serving dishes or some other kind of 'home decor'-ish item isn't on their registry, it's probably because they don't have use for/want such things. I can't speak for you, but when I give a gift, I want to give something that I know the couple will like.

Viczaesar · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:1e89068e-cffc-4d61-9ac0-501939fc49f5">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bring the gift or ship it? : But just to play Devil's Advocate, if a couple has a registry (and assuming that the registry has a variety of price points) why would you NOT give that first consideration when purchasing a gift for the couple? Like PPs said, they have carefully selected items that they'd really like to receive. If a photo frame or serving dishes or some other kind of 'home decor'-ish item isn't on their registry, it's probably because they don't have use for/want such things. I can't speak for you, but when I give a gift, I want to give something that I know the couple will like.
Posted by jennylove810[/QUOTE]
I consider a registry to be good for seeing a couple's general style, but I do not like to shop from them. If you (general you) only want exactly what you pick out for yourself, buy it yourself. When I give a gift I spend my time and energy researching what would be a perfect present for the receiver. How is a wedding present any different from any other present for any other occasion? Without fail the most meaningful presents that I've received are the ones that I was not expecting, the ones that demonstrated that the giver wanted to give me something that made them think of me. Even when it turned out to be the "wrong" thing, the fact that they spent the time and effort deciding what would be the perfect present made it mean so much to me.

AdeleDazeem · November 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:980cbd76-2390-42f9-aa9f-8e09e73ec9cb">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bring the gift or ship it? : I consider a registry to be good for seeing a couple's general style, but I do not like to shop from them. If you (general you) only want exactly what you pick out for yourself, buy it yourself. When I give a gift I spend my time and energy researching what would be a perfect present for the receiver. How is a wedding present any different from any other present for any other occasion? Without fail the most meaningful presents that I've received are the ones that I was not expecting, the ones that demonstrated that the giver wanted to give me something that made them think of me. Even when it turned out to be the "wrong" thing, the fact that they spent the time and effort deciding what would be the perfect present made it mean so much to me.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

I really, really agree with this - sorry. Yes, I understand the general sentiment of "this is the registry, this is what the couple wants" but in the end, it is a wish list and guide to guests, not the bottom line.

I dislike shopping from registries, honestly. I try to think outside the box and come up with a nice gift that I can pair with something from the registry so both me and the couple are happy. For example, I've given a gift certificate to a tapas restaurant with some tapas pans from the registry, or a cook book with some baking things from the registry.

Buying straight from the registry and opening a box of ladels just seems a little ridiculous and like the giver gave no thought whatsoever to the gift.

So what if the giver gets it wrong? Re-gift, donate, or come up with a creative use for a non-registry gift. The gifts are a bonus - not a right.

tldh · November 2010

Nobody is saying that getting a gift is a right. When you give a gift though, would you rather it be wanted and used or returned to the store for something that is actually needed? I hated shopping from the registry also but I will tell you that since going through my own wedding, I will never again shop off registry for a wedding.

hollybee92 · December 2010

I always get yelled at when I state this, but it actually is etiquette to ship it. I know i am praying everyone ships/gives money, because ours is a DW.

hollybee92 · December 2010

Oh gosh, didn't read the above posts all the way through. Y'all, calm down! Honestly, every bride (well, in theory) has made a registry. Do we do this because we expect gifts? No (some tacky people, yes), but did we all think about stuff we wanted/needed? Yes - does that mean we expect someone to stick to the registry? No, but honestly 99% of my guests would get me something I would not actually use.

From reading the posts, no harm was meant. Honestly, I would much prefer someone attending than any gift. But behind that, I know I like giving gifts people want/use.

...so I vote SHIP!

MyNameIsNot · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:980cbd76-2390-42f9-aa9f-8e09e73ec9cb">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bring the gift or ship it? : I consider a registry to be good for seeing a couple's general style, but I do not like to shop from them. If you (general you) only want exactly what you pick out for yourself, buy it yourself. When I give a gift I spend my time and energy researching what would be a perfect present for the receiver. How is a wedding present any different from any other present for any other occasion? Without fail the most meaningful presents that I've received are the ones that I was not expecting, the ones that demonstrated that the giver wanted to give me something that made them think of me. Even when it turned out to be the "wrong" thing, the fact that they spent the time and effort deciding what would be the perfect present made it mean so much to me.
Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This is exactly the same sentiment that most people have when they end up giving white elephants. They intend to get something meaningful, but it usually ends up being wasted. </div><div>
</div><div>The couple TOLD you what they want/need. If you don't care whether it is something they want, then what is the point of getting a gift at all? Gifts aren't required. If you aren't concerned with getting a gift they want, just skip the gift.

</div>

Karen's MOH · December 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bring-gift-ship?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:f7eddfec-d9cc-4a2b-ad06-b5628a4e3ffaPost:475924f2-6098-46d3-94b8-e32d1c95d578">Re: Bring the gift or ship it?</a>:
[QUOTE]I suggest either shipping the gift or dropping it off at their house. I now understand why it is a total pain for the B&G when pepole bring gifts to the wedding. it was very hard to keep track of them and transport them all home. I think the gift basket sounds wonderful, but I'd just drop it at the house before or after the wedding. MUCH easier on the couple.
Posted by noodle_oo[/QUOTE]

I agree. I had a friend do this because you can only use BB&B coupons in store, and she figured should get us more if she did it that than ship it, and it was awesome. We got some things at the wedding and of course we are thankful for them, but we could barely fit everything in the car ride home.

I'm assuming your gift basket that you are thinking of is the type that takes some registry gifts and builds on them, like their baking pans they registered for plus come cake mixes or something-- I would love to get that.

Bring the gift or ship it?

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