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FMIL and Grandbabies

emcmullanemcmullan member
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in Moms and Maids
My FMIL has already started talking about us having grandchildren. We were at her home and she kept talking about how she will be glad when we stop bringing the dog and start bringing babies. My FI and I just look at her and nod and smile, we both decided that this is something that we will just discuss between the two of us. My parents have never pressured about having grandchildren, but fmil has talked about it since we started dating four years ago. How have some of you all dealt with this?
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Re: FMIL and Grandbabies

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    KnibletKniblet member
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    edited December 2011
    I am not much help.  There are SO many reasons why FI and I are choosing not to have children so no one can really pressure me too much.

    Due to him already having 2 little girls, money, health issues from having back surgery, and getting my degree (finally) and going on to get a Masters... having a child is NOT in our future.

    I think you just have to grin and bear it.  Maybe say "we're waiting a few years to enjoy our new chapter of life together before having any little ones".

    Good luck!
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    jagore08jagore08 member
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    edited December 2011
    I just tell our parents that when we're ready we'll let them know.  
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    lalap69lalap69 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'd probably just continue with the smiling and nodding.
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In this case, it is my own mother asking about grandkids.  Honestly, I just laugh it off, change the subject, or ignore their requests all together.

    Having kids is no one's decision but your's and your fiance's.  I did say once "We will have kids when we are good and ready and not a moment sooner."  My mom looked a little sheepish and stopped talking about it for awhile. 

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe it's just her way of asking you to stop bringing the damn dog every time you visit? Seriously, other people's dogs at your house is usually annoying and obnoxious. And I say this only because it's fresh in my mind, as a friend recently brought his big ass rottie over without asking and the friggin thing about ate my cat. NOT COOL.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Just tell her that it is up to you two as a couple, not her. And you will share the news when it happens.
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    KD+BCKD+BC
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    edited December 2011
    I know how you feel. FMIL started asking when we were going to have kids 3 months into us dating. I was in my senior year of college and we were not thinking about kids yet. 4 years later we got engaged and when we told her, she started crying and said, "I'm so happy! The only thing that could make me happier is if you said you were pregnant too!" At this point I laugh it off or smile. Just think about how excited she'll be when you are ready to have kids!
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    skippylouwhoskippylouwho member
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    edited December 2011
    My DD and her FI have told us (we didn't ask) that they plan to wait til 5 years after they've been married to have kids. I'm not saying anything, now or later. Whatever their schedule is, it's their schedule and not mine and that's how it should be.

    My husband's younger brother & wife have 4 daughters. My BIL wanted a boy so badly he couldn't see straight. My FIL told my SIL it was her "DUTY"  to keep having kids until they had a boy.  He was NOT kidding.  She's the nice daughter in law so she just laughed and said "..oh dad! Your so funny!"  She's a good bean dipper.
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    caseylynne21caseylynne21
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    mine started out the same as KD+BD. i didnt feel that was appropriate at all and very presumptious of her. she would bring it up everytime i saw her...literally. she called a a few times to talk about it, and would share the stories of giving birth to my DH over and over again. I tried to be a good bean dipper, but if you keep pushing me with the damn stick eventually i will react (especially after several several months of this). i told them that i didnt want kids. ever. and have never wanted to be a mom. it's not my thing. i would love to be an aunt but not a mommy. they didnt like this and kept pushing. finally i told DH i wasnt going to speak to them until they dropped it, DH called the his parents. i dont know what was said but they havent brought it up again...

    my parents have never asked me this question, they know that i dont want to, and have never pushed me on it.
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    lilcasserslilcassers member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I hate old school parents like that. My Fi mom is jewish so she's all about family, babies, cooking, and taking care of the family. I don't exectly LOVE kids, but I like them. I am a career orientated person and feel that money and the career should come before babies AND that it is not my place to cook for my man all the time like she thinks is the correct thing to do lol.

    Whenever she brings it up or asks I straight up tell her that my career is important to me right now and until that is established, kids are out of the questions. Parents need to realize that times are different right now, and being finacially stable is important.
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    MrsParker6411MrsParker6411 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    haha. I think its funny when my family or my fiance's family talk about babies. EVERYONE knows that I want babies and we have fun joking about it and stuff.

    The day my fiance proposed i called all my family and stuff and I was talking to my grandpa and he said "oh good now you can give me great grandchildren" i just laughed and said "can we get married first" haha.

    My fiance is the youngest of 3 boys. his 2 older brothers are married and have 4 daughters between the two of them. My FFIL told me "it's up to you to give us a grandson. Or all the granddaughters will be out in camo hunting with grandpa."
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