Receiving Line or Visit Tables?

peaches85 · January 2011

I know I still have about 6 months to go, but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Originally I wasn't a fan of doing a receiving line because it can get kind of tedious and it can be awkward for guests who don't really know the bride or groom or their families. But then I started thinking that if the receiving line only involved us (the bride and groom) and not our parents it wouldn't be so awkward since FI and I know and are friendly with every person who is invited to our wedding.

Regardless of whether or not we do a receiving line we'll definitely visit every table during the reception, but I'm just worried that if someone gets up to go to the bathroom or get a drink or dance or whatever we may inadvertently miss them, and a receiving line would help to ensure that we'd get a chance to at least say a quick hello to every guest. Also, it's customary on FI's side to give every single person a hug and a kiss the first time you see them at an event (birthday party, bbq, whatever) so the receiving line would make the whole process a bit faster and smoother than having to go around every table hugging and kissing people. In other words, if we did a receiving line we'd get the hugs and kisses out of the way so that at the reception when we go around to say hello to people it won't be quite so crazy.

Oh, and then there's the issue that our ceremony will hopefully (weather permitting) be outdoors, so would a receiving line even be logistically feasible?

I know this is a really minor detail in the grand scheme of things, but like I said it's just something that I've been thinking about a lot lately and I'd love to hear all of your opinions... especially taking into consideration all that I said about the fact that FI and I will still go around to the tables during the reception regardless of whether or not we do a receiving line and that on FI's side we would literally have to kiss and hug every person at the reception if we didn't do a receiving line where the kiss/hug process could go much faster.

Laurms15 · January 2011

We did a recieving line which you can totally do at an outdoor ceremony just wait in a spot where ppl have to pass to get to the reception. I preferd that because it was pretty quick and we were able to see everyone we also included our parents which wasn't weird at all. We also went around to a few tables but only the older guests who were not up dancing with us. We figured everyone else got to dance with us and honestly we just didn't have enogh time to get to every table plus the "young" ones were on the dance floor ALL night.

sgdc2011 · January 2011

I am not a fan of recieving lines. It's annoying to have to wait in line to see the bride and groom. Usually, I don't know the parents, so that's awkward. I would prefer to see you at the table. Go around while for the most part everyone is seated- maybe towards the end of dinner before they start up the music again, or during salad/app. This is what we plan to do.

Laurms15 · January 2011

Keep in mind each course is about 20min so if your guests expect to spend a lot of time with you at the tables or you need to hug and kiss each person depending on how many people you have you may run out of time and you need to eat as well!

I like to say hi to the parents even if I don't know them. I just think its polite to congratulate them and thank them. So I usually seek them out even if they don't do a recieving line.

jchristel · January 2011

There's something else to consider- I think that since you're getting married at your venue, you have to think about how much time a receiving line will take and whether or not it will cut into your cocktail hour. We had an outdoor ceremony at our venue and once everyone left the ceremony area, they walked inside to the cocktail hour. I didn't think it was feasible with 200 guests, it would have taken too long and also taken time that we wanted for taking family photos.

I don't think it's a minor detail at all!

cutiepie12702 · January 2011

We are getting married at our venue and I plan to do one. After we walk out of the room I plan to stand near the door so as guests exit the room they can quickly say hello and congrats and move along to the cocktail hour setup. I don't want to visit tables all night - half the tables are usually empty due to people walking around and dancing anyway. I also want to be able to enjoy the majority of my cocktail hour eating, and if I didn't say hello to everyone immediately I figure I'll have people trying to talk to me the whole time, and I won't be able to eat. I guess it depends how many people will be at the wedding and how long it will take - but I think a receiving line in my case wouldn't take too much time.

uppereastgirl · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_receiving-line-visit-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:2cf16e0a-89d5-4a46-9d99-fb64d69154daPost:8d67faa1-5263-44ce-8d1a-b349f30751c9">Re: Receiving Line or Visit Tables?</a>:
[QUOTE]I am not a fan of recieving lines. It's annoying to have to wait in line to see the bride and groom. Usually, I don't know the parents, so that's awkward. I would prefer to see you at the table. Go around while for the most part everyone is seated- maybe towards the end of dinner before they start up the music again, or during salad/app. This is what we plan to do.
Posted by sgdc2011[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm in that school. Even if the parents aren't part of the receiving line, there may be family members of his that you don't know, which makes the receiving line awkward (and guests may prefer to spend the time otherwise). I think it is a good way to waste time between ceremony and reception if there's a gap, but if there isn't a gap, I don't know that it gets much out of the way. You have to say hi to everyone during the reception anyway -- it doesn't mean you have to go to every table, but you have to make sure that you talk to everyone at cocktail hour or on the dance floor or whatever. Kissing and hugging in a receiving line goes no quicker than kissing and hugging at cocktail hour. If anything, guests are going to be obliged to go through the "You look so pretty. What a beautiful ceremony! You look so happy" required pleasantries with you twice (once in receiving line, once at table).</div><div>
</div><div>I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it, just saying that I don't think it will serve the purpose you hope it will. (And really, kisses and hugs take probably 2 seconds each.)</div>

Reilly626 · January 2011

Receiving lines are very dated and ridiculous. I cant stand saying hello to bridesmaids/groomsmen I dont know.... We said hello to everyone we could during the cocktail hour and danced the night away! My dad went table to table to thank everyone.

Heather822 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_receiving-line-visit-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:2cf16e0a-89d5-4a46-9d99-fb64d69154daPost:97987caa-a6c6-4338-b497-558dadcb775c">Re: Receiving Line or Visit Tables?</a>:
[QUOTE]Receiving lines are very dated and ridiculous. I cant stand saying hello to bridesmaids/groomsmen I dont know.... We said hello to everyone we could during the cocktail hour and danced the night away! My dad went table to table to thank everyone.
Posted by Reilly626[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#008080">I agree... I personally hate them and have even ducked out on a view!</font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#008080">So as you probably guessed, we skipped a receiving line.</font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#008080">We had no problem touching base with all our guests between cocktail hour / visiting tables during the salad course / catching those we missed on the dance floor.</font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" color="#008080">If you worry too much about things like this, you will really miss out on just being in the moment & enjoying your reception.</font>

</div>

jrgoogrl · January 2011

Since we're also getting married at the venue, we're planning on saying hello to all of our guests during CH. Then visiting with our older guests tables during the reception. But by doing it during CH we will make sure to get around to everyone, that way if we don't get to every table at the reception it's not the end of the world.

Danes983 · January 2011

DH and I took our pictures before the ceremony. So afterwards we got to regroup and the join cocktail hour. Because of this we had ample time to visit people at the tables. It actually worked out great. And I dont think you can be worrying if someone went to the bathroom. Atleast you tried. It took us probably 25 minutes total to visit all 18 tables. if I noticed someone specific I didnt get to say hi to (best mans parents) I took 2 minutes later in the night to go and chat. It was really better to go to tables IMO.

GolfChick78 · January 2011

We're going to do a receiving line but the goal will be to keep it moving; no chatting, just a quick hi, you look great, congratulations, NEXT!.

And of course, we'll get around to all the tables. I don't worry about missing someone (which is probably innevitable) as we'll have time to see everyone sometime during the evening and definitely at the end of the night when they leave.

cindy91788 · January 2011

Are you planning on attending the cocktail hour with all of your guests? Or were you going to have a private one? Did you want time to go to the bridal suite and freshen up/have a toast with your bridal party, etc, before the cocktail hour? All of these factor in to whether or not you'd want to do a receiving line after the ceremony, if the ceremony is at the same location as the reception. I personally have never been to a wedding like that where there was a receiving line after the ceremony. Usually, the B&G just made a point to come by and say hello to all of the guests, whether it was at the table, or somewhere else during the course of the night. A receiving line is never quick, and it will take quite awhile for everyone to see you on their way to cocktail hour, so that will most certainly cut into that time (and yours). Also, not sure if everybody that is attending your reception would also make it to the ceremony, so its possible you might miss some people anyway.

That being said, since our ceremony is at a church, we will be doing a receiving line. I just can't imagine after the ceremony, if were to just disappear and let everybody walk out without seeing us and saying congrats, etc. I think most of our families would be expecting that and might even think it was rude if we DIDN'T do one. Being a guest at a wedding, I have definitely felt a little awkward if I didn't know the bride and groom (like if I was somebody's guest), but otherwise, they should at least know one of us and it really shouldn't be that awkward. Since many of the people attending the reception will not be at the church ceremony, we will need to find time to thank each person for coming. I am not sure yet if we will try to visit every table or what. We plan on being at cocktail hour with all of the guests, so I'm sure people will be talking to us then. And then maybe we can try to visit the tables of those we hadn't seen yet during the course of the night. I'm pretty sure the B&G get served their food first, and we definitely want to make sure we eat, so if we can eat quickly, then there should be plenty of time to still go around and say hi. That's really the only way to ensure that most people will be seated - if they are eating - and although that might seem a little annoying to talk to them while they are eating - I think it would also make the table visits go a little quicker.

mbcdefg · January 2011

We did a receiving line and it went very quickly. People went through the line and then waited outside the church for us to come out (which surprised us because we didn't have a sendoff/toss planned).

We tried to visit every table at the reception, but we missed some people because they were in the bathroom or dancing or at the bar. Some people had to leave early so we missed a few of them. And it takes longer to talk to people when you do table visits.

Plus I was glad that we did a receiving line because there were some people who came to the church but not to the party ... people we worked with, and people our parents worked with, who weren't invited but wanted to see us anyway; elderly invited guests who weren't up to coming to the party.

My vote: do a receiving line AND table visits.

jchristel · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_receiving-line-visit-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:2cf16e0a-89d5-4a46-9d99-fb64d69154daPost:84964fb1-aac4-4aaa-abbd-2ffe51ac6a4d">Re: Receiving Line or Visit Tables?</a>:
[QUOTE]We're going to do a receiving line but the goal will be to keep it moving; no chatting, just a quick hi, you look great, congratulations, NEXT!. And of course, we'll get around to all the tables. I don't worry about missing someone (which is probably innevitable) as we'll have time to see everyone sometime during the evening and definitely at the end of the night when they leave.
Posted by GolfChick78[/QUOTE]

<div>I think it's a good plan to move it along, but you have to be prepared for people not going along with your timeline. I couldn't believe how many guests wanted to have a 15 minute conversation with us when we went table to table. Most people knew the drill, but I have seen people take exceedingly long on both receiving lines and table visits. I think it's a good rule of thumb to estimate more time than you think it should take.</div>

Denise91980 · January 2011

We basically made our rounds at cocktail (good...you get it done...bad...you don't eat) because we didn't want to take away from the reception. Everything was such a whirlwind that we were glad we did it that way.

altimat873 · January 2011

We are doing a receiving line I guess you can call, but only me, my FI and both sets of parents - no bridal party (I have asked them all how they feel about this and they were all TOO THRILLED not to have to do it LOL). My DOC said she keeps it moving and I have also asked her to go with me when we visit tables, so she can be the mean one and push me along for time reasons. BUT I am also going to the majority of the cocktail hour so I am not to worried about not seeing/greeting anyone with all of these options.

Tara2316 · January 2011

We did both. We had a recieving line at the Church then went to every table at the recpetion to thank our guests for coming. There were some people who weren't at the ceremony so we didn't want to leave anyone out.

cindy91788 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_receiving-line-visit-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:90Discussion:2cf16e0a-89d5-4a46-9d99-fb64d69154daPost:4bacb789-6d11-4e65-8651-c170a2f1d39e">Re: Receiving Line or Visit Tables?</a>:
[QUOTE]We did a receiving line and it went very quickly. <strong>People went through the line and then waited outside the church for us to come out (which surprised us because we didn't have a sendoff/toss planned).</strong> We tried to visit every table at the reception, but we missed some people because they were in the bathroom or dancing or at the bar. Some people had to leave early so we missed a few of them. And it takes longer to talk to people when you do table visits. Plus I was glad that we did a receiving line because there were some people who came to the church but not to the party ... people we worked with, and people our parents worked with, who weren't invited but wanted to see us anyway; elderly invited guests who weren't up to coming to the party. My vote: do a receiving line AND table visits.
Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]
At every church wedding I have ever attended, everybody waited outside after the receiving line, to wait for the bride & groom to come out, whether they were doing a send off, or just walking out, etc. If they weren't doing anything and just staying to take pictures, then all of the guests just left. so I'm actually expecting people to do that after our ceremony as well..

grace_ann · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_receiving-line-visit-tables?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:2cf16e0a-89d5-4a46-9d99-fb64d69154daPost:5d0b01fc-d55a-4b36-9119-80eb48ca7f3e">Re: Receiving Line or Visit Tables?</a>:
[QUOTE]We basically made our rounds at cocktail (good...you get it done...bad...you don't eat) because we didn't want to take away from the reception. Everything was such a whirlwind that we were glad we did it that way.
Posted by Denise91980[/QUOTE]

We also did this and then split up to hit anyone else we missed at the reception

MikeandJulie2010 · January 2011

We didn't do a receiving line because we took pictures during the cocktail hour and we decided to just go around to the tables to say hi. However, it was easier said than done. People stop you at every turn and want to chat your ear off, the meals are coming out, people want to dance with you, you're being directed to cut the cake, throw the garter, etc etc....its a very busy day and before you know it, its over. Plus, we wanted to actually enjoy ourselves so we ate and danced, which prevented us from getting to each and every table. Most people we didn't go up to, came up to us and lots came over to our sweetheart table while we ate. Most people I've talked to said its inevitable, there are going to be some people you miss. I felt bad not seeing each and every person but it happens! I think theres two choices you have: be diligent about table rounds/talking to every guest and not eat, or eat, dance, mingle and see who you can! Remember to enjoy your wedding and have fun!

USER876 · January 2011

I would do the opposite. DO the receiving line so you DON'T have to visit every table.

We gave up about half way through wit the tables. As it was, by the time we got to dance, there were like 5 songs left. The night goes by so fast, def visit the out of town people, but every table? It just takes way too much time and at least with the receiving line you get to see everyone and thank them for coming. Ours didn't take long, about 15 minutes.

sgdc2011 · January 2011

Whatever you choose, make sure you make an attempt to say hi to everyone. I went to a few weddings and neither the bride nor the groom made rounds of any kind and I found it so rude that I went to their wedding and gave a generous gift and they couldn't be bothered to say hi to people. Many people were annoyed about this.

peaches85 · January 2011

Thanks for all the feedback everyone!

Ack... I guess this is something FI and I are going to wind up figuring out the night before our wedding because as I read each comment (regardless of which side it supported) I thought to myself, "Hmmm, good point, that's so true."

So I'm still in the exact same position I was before posting the thread, haha.

TripleJTobe · January 2011

We are doing the receiving line, going to cocktail hour and visiting tables. We actually added on a half hour to our reception just to be sure that we are able to have interactions with our guests! We are so blessed to have wonderful people in our lives and whats really most important to us on that day, is letting each of them know how very special they are to us.

akmackay · January 2011

Peaches- sorry I'm late to the party, don't judge (haha just kidding...). Anyway, we did a receiving line b/c I knew there would be people at our ceremony that weren't invited to the reception (BMs parents etc) and I wanted to make sure to thank them for coming.

I am so glad we did, because I figured that between making the rounds at cocktail hour and going to each table we would say hi to everyone. Well, cocktail hour I was pulled in a million directions and then brought upstairs before all the guests. So, my cocktail hour I got to enjoy was maybe 10 minutes. Then, going around to the tables got hectic and some wanted us to stay longer than we wanted etc, and we didn't make it around to all the tables. So, in the end, we were so happy we decided to do a receiving line.

As far as outdoor ceremonies, I went to one in October that had a receiving line and it worked out fine. They just waited at the end of the aisle

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