no kids allowed!!! please help!

Re: no kids allowed!!! please help!

• pirategal03 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_kids-allowed-please?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:2f65fb68-ec20-4552-b79e-9056ce030d77Post:eab28a9b-9c0a-4d14-8468-038de04f513e">no kids allowed!!! please help!</a>:
  [QUOTE]ive been up for hrs considering a no children allowed wedding. my fiance and i are trying to plan a very small economic wedding. half (i actually did the percentage) of my guest list are children. and a third are spouses of guest i hardly know. i saw on a site that one way to trim the guest list is to cut on children. i will only have 2 children in my wedding party, i could care less about misbehaving but i really dont want to pay an extra 400 at my reception for children who will be bore run around and not eat. i narrowed it down to two guest who may have trouble finding a sitter. i could make arrangements for that. and some guest will have to have the spouse stay home with the children, even better! could i make this happen or will it blow up in my face?
  Posted by thetouringys2011[/QUOTE]
  
  The appropriate way to have an adult only wedding is to simply address the invitation to only the adults.  Name people, dont use "family".  Don't print "adults only" anywhere.  If possible, print RSVP cards that have the guests' names already on them (see the invites and paper board for suggestions for that).  You'll likely still get people RSVPing with their children.  At that point you call them and politely explain that while you'd love to have little Johnny and Jenny there, the invitation was only meant for the parents.
  
  You should expect to offend some people this way, as a lot of parents think their child is the best thing to walk the planet since Jesus.  But if you're willing to risk it, it's an option.  I can't say if it will blow up in your face, as I don't know your crowd.   It could happen.  Some people may not come at all.  I wouldn't expect any to choose to have just one spouse stay home.  Is the $400 worth the potential headache and hurt feelings? 

  Blog

  Report0 Reply
• ecuchika member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  I second the above.  Expect that some people will be offended and accept that and I think you will be ok.  As for spouses staying at home that is horrible.  If I had kids and FI & I got invited to a wedding if we couldn't both attend we couldn't make the other stay home--how boring to be at a wedding w/o your spouse.  I'm sure it will be helpful as far as your budget is concered b/c the less people attend the better for money/budgeting purposes.  But this is the best advise I got "those that will WANT to come will its doesn't matter about the rest"  I know there will be exceptions and some ppl will want to come but cant and I'm sure they will have reasons but life will go on.
  
  If you want to invite adults only thats cool just do it as professionally and edquittly as possible i/e no writing adults only anywhere! addressing the envelopes to ONLY those that are invited.

  Report0 Reply
• uneek1323 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  We're not having children and some people are shocked at this given I'm an elementary teacher. Yes, I like kids... but only Monday - Friday from 8:30-4:30. We didn't write "no kids" or "adults only" we simply addressed the STD's and invites to the peopel who are invited. Mr and Mrs. So-and-so.

  
  

  For the most part, people got the message and are excited to have a night away. I've had a few emails of "Is little Johnny invited?" I just reply "Unfortunately we are unable to accomodate children. Hope to see you soon!"

  
  

  Our venue isn't really kid-friendly either, so that helps parents understand too.

  **TTCAL** A little Irish cuteness- Cillian Murphy
  
  TTC #1 since December 2011
  Dx: Hypothyroidism, PCOS, one test away from confirming DOR
  BFP #1 1/16/12 EDD 9/16/12 m/c 1/26/12 }Sweet Pea{
  BFP #2 10/18/12 EDD 6/29/13 cp 10/24/12 }Bug{
  BFP #3 11/22/12 EDD 8/1/13 m/c 12/7/12 }Turkey{
  
  Mah Chart * Mah Literary Blog * Mah Other Blog
  
  ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~

  Report0 Reply
• tarheelbabs member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  We're inviting adults only, and like you, the two children who are in the wedding.  In addition, we're including the children of our relatives who will be traveling from out of state.  Basically, my relatives.  I think that's a total of 15 kids. 
  
  I do expect some folks will be disappointed, but we're having a fairly large wedding and had to draw the line somewhere.  One thing I think we are going to do--and at 2 months and 5 days out, it's a decision that has to be made this week!!--is to invite some children to our rehearsal dinner.  It's going to be fairly large and very casual--a pig pickin. Our whole plan in doing that was to be inclusive, so that's a good way to bring more kids in.  I don't know whether that's an option for you or not.
  
  Good luck--that is always a difficult issue.

  Report0 Reply
• CltBride2008 member

  

  March 2011 edited December 2011

  This is the most ridiculous topic but something I NEVER thought I would have to deal with, so I feel your pain. I cannot believe how many people refuse to come to our wedding since their little babies cannot attend. I am making a promise here - if I get invited to a wedding when I have a three year old I am going to relish the night out! Pay $40 and get a babysitter people!!! Your three year old is not going to have a good time so why force the invite?
  
  Moral of the story knotties - DO NOT turn into these crazy mommies who refuse to leave their home without their screaming children who are giong to ruin wedding!

  Report0 Reply