Enlighten me: Ushers

Tygirljojo · January 2010

So, I've read what ushers' duties are, but I'm wondering what all they really do? The description of duties online also include some stuff that just sounds really formal to me, but then again, a wedding tends to be formal so I really don't know. Are you having ushers? If so, how many? What's your guest count? What will the ushers be doing? We're having 100 guests, and I figured 2 ushers? Maybe 3?

melissa82 · January 2010

Our wedding was formal, and we didn't have ushers. I always thought they were dumb. People know how to sit, and they tend to come all around the same time so there's no way 4 guys could have sat all those people anyway. At all the weddings I've been to with ushers, it's just been the GM. I've never heard of people having ushers who were not actually in the bridal party before the knot. That seems insulting to me, but again it's not the norm so if it is for other people it probably doesn't seem insulting to them.

Tygirljojo · January 2010

Only reason why I'm considering it is one is MOH's DH, other is a good friend who's dad is our officiant and is also MOH's DH's best friend. The possible 3rd one is one of the BM's boyfriend and also a good friend of FI but FI isn't sure if he's going to ask him (the guy has been complaning about being best man at an old friend of his' wedding this May in NY). I'd like to include at least the first two somehow but have it where they don't have to do a ton of stuff for the wedding if that makes sense? We're not planning on doing any readings either.

sarack · January 2010

I don't really think they are necessary either. I agree with Melissa.

BrandyL10 · January 2010

Since I didn't get to pick the GM's, :P, ushers were a great way to incorporate two people close to me. One of my cousins and a close childhood friend. Plus FI didn't want his GM's seating everyone so we went with ushers. We're having 150 but I don't think we need more to direct people. They're just going to pay more attention to seating people in the 'family' area, walking my mom and FMIL down the aisle, and showing guests how to get to the reception room. And they also double as bouncers! I don't think you HAVE to have them, weddings work fine without them as well!

nosaj · January 2010

Wanted to incorporate my half brothers without telling FI who to pick as GM's so the usher thing will work. I'm not going to make them wear a tux but will have them wear a suit and help to guide people since me ceremony location isn't visible when you first enter the venue grounds. So for me it helped to reduce hurt feelings and I think it will help things flow smoother.

d_smith79 · January 2010

I agree with some PP's. We aren't having ushers, I've never really understood the need. Unless like some said there are people they want to include, but maybe not in the WP. Our wedding isn't very traditional so we aren't worried about who sits where. I also think most people know family is in the front row(s).

MrsH8172010 · January 2010

We asked my little cousins to be Ushers. We wanted them to have a special part since their little sister is our flowergirl and were pretty close to them.

We are having them dress in tuxes or suits and they are going to escort the important family members to their seats. I'm not sure what else we are going to have them do yet if anything else.

Oh and were planning on about 150-175 guests, and were having two ushers

HTH : )

KST_ · January 2010

For me, the important part ushers play is not at the beginning of the ceremony but at the end. More than once I've been to a wedding where the GM were ushers at the beginning but then left with the WP at the end. The guests know mostly to wait for the WP and VIP family to leave but then we're at a loss as to leaving. Do we file out from front to back, back to front...leave willy nilly. It always leaves this weird awkward thing that's kind of confusing. That said...not sure exactly what we're doing on this path.

melissa82 · January 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_washington-seattle_enlighten-ushers?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:104Discussion:a71de886-4766-482d-bcf4-15179c3f4a6fPost:8add3a76-b71e-41df-9363-8d5343d2858c">Re: Enlighten me: Ushers</a>:
[QUOTE]Do we file out from front to back, back to front...leave willy nilly. It always leaves this weird awkward thing that's kind of confusing. That said...not sure exactly what we're doing on this path.
Posted by KSTorkko[/QUOTE]

I'm confused...how it this a problem for you (but not for others I mean)? Don't all guests need to leave? Why does it matter what order your guests leave in? Of the weddings I've been to with ushers, they didn't do anything at the end and there wasn't any crazy free-for-all. If you're having a receiving line at the end of the ceremony, people know how to wait in line.

ETA: I don't mean that to sound snarky at all. Having never seen anyone use ushers at the end of the ceremony, I really don't understand how it works and what I'm imagining seems insulting to me. However, with the exception of one, all the weddings I've been to were at churches so people generally know how to leave row by row. At the outdoor wedding I attended, I'm pretty sure we all did leave at the same time but it really didn't matter as there wasn't a receiving line.

casmith4 · February 2010

We're having 100 guests and 3 ushers, but our ceremony site is a little unusual (there's no seating) so I think it will be helpful to have ushers to give people a little direction. We thought about having the ushers as groomsmen, but we decided this just worked better for us.
KSTorkko, I've heard that same thing from several people about the akward moment after the ceremony is over if there's no one there to tell people how to leave.

Enlighten me: Ushers

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