this is the code for the render ad
Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Moms and Maids
Moms and Maids
New Discussion

Shower drama

Jamie B21Jamie B21
First Comment
in Moms and Maids
My mom and future MIL discussed the shower situation. Who will have one, etc. initially my mom offered to do a joint shower with both sides if the family. MIL said she wanted to do a separate shower for that side. Either way was fine with my family. Fast forward to today. My future MIL now wants to do a joint shower. The people have been invited for the already planned shower and there isn't room for MIL to invite the close family, let alone her 3rd cousin's daughter and great grand daughter. Im sure it has alot to do with being able to afford it, but my mom doesnt have alot of money and she's been helping me pay for the wedding(my fiancé's family hasn't helped at all). So here's my question: how do I proceed? I don't want to hurt anyones feelings or make anyone mad. I figured my mom could discuss it with her, but what should she say?

Thanks!!
Report Reply to Post

Re: Shower drama

  • misssunshine17misssunshine17 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    They really shouldn't be bringing you into it because the bride shouldn't have anything to do with the showers. I think your mother needs to hold her ground. If your FMIL can't afford to throw a shower, that is perfectly fine and you just won't have one that involves his family. That boat has sailed. 
    Report Reply
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2012
    It's a little late to change the plans, since the invitations have gone out. Give your mom a heads up that FMIL may be calling her about the shower. It will give her time to think about how she would like to handle the situation. Other than that, don't get involved.
                       
    Report Reply
  • CowgirlK39CowgirlK39 member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its
    Oh hi, you must be another version of me. I had the exact same thing happen. FMIL asked who was throwing my shower. I told her my mom was. She said she wanted to throw one. So I said fine do your own. 4 months later she asked when she should call my mom to discuss plans. I reminded her she had her own and she acted like this was news to her.

    Like you, my mom already had made her shower plans and couldn't afford to add FMIL's people. So we just told FMIL she was on her own, and if she didn't want to do that, or didn't think she could do it on her own, just to forget it then. Leave her the option to do it or not.

    I also second PPs.... you should remind your FMIL that technically you shouldn't be involved. I constantly have to tell my FMIL this and she still texts me all day long asking what decor I want, and what I think about this or that. Try to be as uninvolved as possible, while remaining polite.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards