NWR: The stuff in the attic ...

Re: NWR: The stuff in the attic ...

• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  March 2012

  Good luck Lisa!
  
  Isn't it amazing the "stuff" our parents have kept? Since my son moved away 3 years ago to go to grad school in DC, I've had him take "stuff" with him whenever he is not flying, but driving, back. After my daughter graduates from HS this summer my life will get down to a more sedentary "not-planning-anything-special" lifestyle and I can tackle all these cleaning & sorting projects in my own home.
  
  I also agree with your assessment of Lee Iacocca..........he was a hero many years ago here in the Detroit area for what he did, and I personally appreciated what he did for the Ellis Island project, as I went there several years ago to see it as my paternal grandmother came through there.
  
  Come to think of it, I haven't seen my HS diploma in a very long time, LOL.

  Wedding Website and Bio

  Report0 Reply
• right1thistime member

  

  March 2012

  Really bittersweet work.  I found throwing away my parents' treasures (that were no longer treasured) to be painful.  Things they had worked so hard for, reduced to refuse. By the same token, I found such amazing things mixed in. 
  
  My mother was not quite a hoarder in her later years, but more like she no longer had the capacity to understand what was important to keep and what was trash.  So she kept everything.  I had to go through bag after bag of advertising circulars.  You know- the ones that come in the Sunday newspaper?  The reason I had to go through them is that tucked in the pile would be a $20 bill, an old photo, a family document (like a death cert or something similar), a newspaper clipping and even the funeral book from my older brother's funeral.
  
  Lisa - I can picture you in Hair!  ~Donna

  Report0 Reply
• Lisa50 member

  

  March 2012

  Yup ... very bittersweet, indeed.  That's why going through my stuff has waited until the "end" of the clean-out.  I started hard and fast -- going through my parents stuff; with the help of family and friends (about 6 of us), we got that done in Nov/Dec.  And I cried, every single weekend for eight straight weeks.  That's part of the reason we decided to cut loose and take thehoneymoon in January instead of the spring.  I had no energy left.  All of that work had sucked the life out of me.
  
  We've given away a lot of usable items and thrown away things that should have hit the trash heap 30 years ago (my dad had great plans for repairing stuff) and even, 45 years ago when they built the house (kitchen tiles, etc. from the original construction).
  
  I received an email from the realtor last week, chirping that the spring market has "already begun."  So ... I need to just get the last of the clean out wrapped. Then, we'll get the drywall repair and painting work underway. The place will be sold as-is ... but with a fresh paint job and nicely cleaned hardwood floors. Thank goodness the agent said we don't have to clean out the garage until the place is sold. Whew!
  
  Yes, bittersweet indeed.  The truth be told, deep down, I don't even want to sell the house.  My father and uncles built it.  The reality is, though, that my mother will live a long, long time and she may, eventually, need the proceeds from the sale of the house.  I need to get this transaction handled, in preparation for that possibility.  Honestly, if there were a guarantee that nothing bad would happen to me (I'm the only child), I'd keep the house and wait.  Wait for what? I'm not sure.
  
  Eh, nothing's easy about this.  Nothing.  Anyhoo ... back to the grindstone!  Stupid daylight savings time has taken a bite out of a work day that has not even begun.  With that, my friend, I must get going.
  
  Have a fabulous day!

  Report0 Reply
• right1thistime member

  

  March 2012

  I know how those tears flow.  My dad built the house I grew up in, nail by nail.  The dairy farm that abutted it has long since become a golf course, they bought the house & bulldozed it.  Damnnear broke my heart.  Hugs to you as you go through this emotional roller coaster.  ~Donna

  Report0 Reply
• Lisa50 member

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_nwr-the-stuff-in-the-attic?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:36fb5ffc-e8ed-4279-a3d5-370b86271dc5Post:be4c58db-7efe-41b9-b865-5bc295b4bd56">Re: NWR: The stuff in the attic ...</a>:
  [QUOTE]I know how those tears flow.  My dad built the house I grew up in, nail by nail.  The dairy farm that abutted it has long since become a golf course, they bought the house & bulldozed it.  Damnnear broke my heart.  Hugs to you as you go through this emotional roller coaster.  ~Donna
  Posted by right1thistime[/QUOTE]
  
  (((HUGS))) You know how I feel. *sigh*

  Report0 Reply
• Lisa50 member

  

  March 2012

  I'm lucky neither of my parents were hoarders.  I have now fully absorbed, though, that, for many humans, their "stuff" expands to fill the storage space available.  With an attic that runs the full length and width of my parents' house ... whew!
  
  I fell into the habit of saving the text books and notes.  I have no idea why.  I did not save any more than could fit in "my part" of the attic.  Plus, as I ended careers with each of my previous employers, I packed up a box and brought it home.  Each of those boxes ended up in my parents attic.
  
  DH and I do not have an attic, nor do we have a basement.  We have just two places to store stuff -- under the stairs and in the laundry room.  Needless to say, it will just take a couple of weeks, not months, for someone to go through our stuff when we're no longer around.
  
  I miss George Carlin.  He had a great bit about "stuff."
  
  Ciao!

  Report0 Reply
• right1thistime member

  

  March 2012 edited March 2012

  Well, perhaps there's some yuck (like the CVS ads from 6 years ago), but not a lot for me.  It is WORK, and there is emotional work that gets done with that work.  For me it was coming to terms with my mother's declining judgement, and her Depression era thinking.  And the abject poverty she grew up with, so that plastic Christmas tree balls that aren't cracked or faded are too good to throw away. 
  
  The more I have explored geneology, the more I value some of those strange items of junk.  Seeing that names that I have added to my family tree appear in that funeral book, written in their own hand makes them more real to me (and validates my data).  The scores of newspaper clippings of deaths, weddings, births etc. have been a treasure trove of information.  I am thankful that they survived these 70+ years.  Reading about my father's 2 year old firstborn son's death in a newspaper clipping is as close as I will come to real knowledge about that event.  Knowing that his mother clipped it and saved it makes it dear.  I can scan it into my tree and preserve it for someone else.  (Without the clutter!) ~Donna

  Report0 Reply
• MikesAngie member

  

  March 2012

  Wow Lisa ((hugs))  You have been involved in a tough chore, I'm glad you are getting near the end and are paring down the boxes.  

  
  

  My DSD is a bit of a hoarder, and when she went away to college I boxed up 16 boxes of stuff that she had collected and saved since elementary school.  Over winter break she got that down to 10 boxes (which really should have been pared down even further).  

  
  

  It's tough work.  We helped my MIL last October go through her whole house before she had to move.  I am very proud of my husband for not wanting to overfill our house with things and furniture from his childhood. We only accepted that which we had room for and would use. 

  
  

  ((hugs)) again I know it's tough work. 

  Report0 Reply
• Lisa50 member

  

  March 2012

  Angie ... it has been tough.  I have cried enough tears to float a battleship lately. 
  
  I was chatting with a co-worker today about all of my boxes.  She thought it was really weird that I'd kept all of those books, notes, papers, etc.  In retrospect, I guess it is odd.  It was just a habit of packing a box at the end of each semester and tucking it away. 
  
  Here's the root of the problem .. the size of that damned attic at my folks' house.  It is the size of a very, very roomy 1 BR apartment.  LOL!  Can you imagine having that much space to store things?
  
  Donna ... you're right about that depression-era mentality.  My maternal grandfather lost his dairy farm during the depression.  My mother (and her siblings) remember, quite clearly, the confusion of leaving their farm with its modern conveniences and moving in with their grandmother -- no electricity and an outhouse.  That kind of experience leaves a life long impression.
  
  My mother remains frugal to this very day.  For instance, she's lost a lot of weight in the past couple of years and has refused to get rid of her old clothes.  It doesn't matter that they're 5 sizes too big.  God bless her.  She's my mom!
  
  And so, the beat goes on.  We've made tremendous progress.  I'm saving all of the photographs.  I found photos of my brother and sister when they were in grade school.  How cute!  Yup ... I'm saving all the photos.

  Report0 Reply