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adults only reception

wallyworld81wallyworld81
10 Comments
in New Jersey
okay ladies, we have decided that we dont want any children at our wedding (those of you who want them there, thats great, but please dont go blasting me for not wanting them running around all night) but the problem is we feel like some of our second cousins are going to try to bring them anyways even though the envelope will only be addressed to mr and mrs so and so.  So how do we word the reception and rsvp card to double clarify that this is an adults only reception without straight out saying "dont bring your kids!"? LOL.

any suggestions would be great!  TIA!
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Re: adults only reception

  • jrgoogrljrgoogrl
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're doing an adults only reception as well. So on our invite at the bottom we put "adult reception to follow, black tie optional" and we haven't received any calls about "can i bring susie?" Or if they did, they may have called my FMIL and she just handled it. Lol!
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  • altimat873altimat873 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We did the same, we wrote "adults only reception to follow". If people don't like it oh well. We are only having kids in the wedding party and most of them have gparents who will be taking them back home or to the hotel after cocktail hour.
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  • cindy9178cindy9178 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree, I don't think there is anything wrong with saying "adults only reception", although some people do find it rude and poor etiquette. (we are also doing an adults only, I'm not putting that on the reception, and if anybody asks if they can bring their kid, they will be told no, they can't. Hopefully, no family members will be rude or disrespectful enough to actually show up with an uninvited child.
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  • KH 2012KH 2012
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thanks i was going to ask too! we arent going to be having any kids int he birdal party either so we just want everyone who needs to to find a babysitter for one night!!!!
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  • kristen8040kristen8040 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We didn't put anything on ours.  We figured if people have a problem with it and actually call up asking about it, we'll just tell them.

    We also don't know too many people with kids either, so that helps.
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  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Only address the invites to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe.

    If they reply back saying that they're bringing the kids, call them and say, "I'm sorry, but we can't accommodate any children at the wedding." If they say that they won't be able to attend unless they bring the kids, just say, "Sorry to hear that. We'll miss you at the wedding!" and then end the call.

    If they bring the kids even after that, the maitre d' can explain that there isn't a seat or a meal for them since they are not invited guests.
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  • TaraK22TaraK22 member
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-jersey_adults-only-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:90Discussion:a401ebab-fe71-4790-9ab6-3d96053d7df6Post:73bac1d2-3f20-4beb-b9eb-523b80de786a">Re: adults only reception</a>:
    [QUOTE]Only address the invites to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. If they reply back saying that they're bringing the kids, call them and say, "I'm sorry, but we can't accommodate any children at the wedding." If they say that they won't be able to attend unless they bring the kids, just say, "Sorry to hear that. We'll miss you at the wedding!" and then end the call. If they bring the kids even after that, the maitre d' can explain that there isn't a seat or a meal for them since they are not invited guests.
    Posted by mbcdefg[/QUOTE]

    This. I've learned from my lurking on the Etiquette board that it's rude to point out on an invitation who is NOT invited. It's more "appropriate" to just address the invitations to those invited, and call to politely explain that you cannot accomodate children (and other non-invited guests whose names somehow appear on the RSVP card) if they do send an RSVP back with them included.
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  • goaliegirlgoaliegirl member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I agree...do not write it on the invitation.   Address the invites to the adults and if they try to ask to bring kids call them up and politely say that you cannot accomodate them.  You can also have your parents spread the word politely to those that have children that you just can't fit them.
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  • GolfChick78GolfChick78 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're going to be doing the same.  But there are only a few kids in our family so we plan to call those people in advance so that they're not surprised, confused, or put off.
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  • JoBell123JoBell123
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We're having our parents mention it to family if they ask.
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